Done with online dating

[Big Nuts]

Is it wrong that I have never tried online dating? I think not.

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I thought the same thing for years until work and life got in the way. I suddenly went online and I was knee deep in meat knuckle!

 

[Colossus]

Fixed it for you. The sheer number of messages women get will make it difficult for even the most seasoned veteran of the game to consistently maintain the attention of women on his level.

You could be Shakespeare, but if she doesn't like your "vibe" or pictures then it's thankyou and goodnight. There's another 100 guys to replace you in a heartbeat.

And online dating does not level the playing field. It further exaggerates the skewed nature of the SMP. In other words if you're a top ten percenter you will probably get even more attention than you would offline and if you're a chick (hot or not) then you definitely will. If you aren't then you will be ignored or get the occasional message from a delusional fatty.

My opinion doesn't need fixing.

I'm not saying online dating is a boon for all men. I had good success with it. Average HB of all the girls I had was probably ~7, which mirrors sarging, IMO. There were a few 8's and a few 6's. Maybe a 5 and a 9.

BUT--there are a lot of bottom-feeders online. Especially POF. Just the way it is.

In my experience guys who trash one medium of game over another are----inexperienced. Sarging requires burning more calories and there is more risk. I dont think the "quality" is any better. That's something guys tell themselves to create a little alpha inflation. It's like measuring your d!ck from the bottom of your balls instead of the base. You are only fooling yourself.

 

[SingAgn]

You should use all the resources available to you

I just started dating 3-4 months ago after getting a divorce. I initially asked a woman out live and got a no, because she had a boyfriend, but she complimented me on being aggressive.
Since then I've gone online and done pretty well. It is a time suck and I'm trying to balance 8-10 women right now. A lot of single moms so it's not a big deal to have to go a couple weeks between meeting up. I'm on OKC and just started on Match. I'm not as impressed with the results on match. More numbers, but a lot of flakes or crazies. I think my mistake is thinking that women think like us. They don't and you can't expect them to act the way you or I would. You just have to throw out a lot of messages to find what you're looking for, whether it is the woman you want to marry or the one you want for tonight. Same thing you would do live. The problem I see is the immediacy of meeting first live vs. online. You probably need to spend a week or so messaging before the first meetup.

 

[Colossus]

Colossus, having seen some of your gym pictures in the H&F I can safely say you are a top ten percenter and though you may see yourself as a fantastic wordsmith with an eloquent writing style this is almost certainly not a significant contributing factor in your success at online dating. Proponents of online dating on this site basically say, good pictures + not being a complete social retard = success in online dating. NOT true at all. But in reality being decent looking and somewhat cool (i.e not a complete social leper ) is sufficient to get laid in real life if you put yourself in the path of enough women. Which is why, in my opinion, online dating is not to be taken seriously.

And nowhere did I say the quality of women on POF is any lower than in real life. In fact its surprisingly high. 25% of my conversations are with 8s and above. The rest 6s and 7s. The problem is that it's much harder for the average guy to get an 8 online than offline.

Your assertion that above average looks and clever writing skills is enough to be successful at online dating is, well, disingenuous or at best doesn't reflect a great range of experiences (i.e the experience of the vast majority of decent guys - even those with game).

I think we'll just agree to disagree here. To be fair it would be impossible for me to quantify exactly how much of my looks vs. writing style got me girls online, but I do think it's a mix of both. I also used it in 2 major U.S. cities for a time so I was fishing in a much bigger pond with good turnover.

I think it really all comes down to meeting girls via the best medium that works for you. The only caveat I would add is that ALL DJ's should have some social pick-up skill. That's the fail-safe.

 

[TheBrutalGourmet]

In my brief experience with online dating I almost exclusively attracted obese women. I was totally honest with my pictures and body type / activity level and what I was looking for. Didn't help a damn bit. You would think all of my pics featured me holding a cake. I am fatty catnip in the online world. I work out 5 days a week. If I had a fat fetish I would be a pimp. I have no online dating profiles anymore. I'll do it IRL. Hard work, face to face. I don't need to waste my time and energy stroking women's egos.

 

[Big Nuts]

BG: Every guy online "attracts" fat chicks.....that is because fatties are simply taking a long shot at contacting men far above their SMV. Just delete them and treat them as background noise.

Now...if you want to score 7 to 8.5s online...you have to chase...it is that simple. The better she is, the more attention she gets. Not only MUST YOU actively contact and pursue her, you must close on a date time and place as soon as possible.

None of this means anything if you are ugly. You must be average or better to get a legitimate sniff at online poon. Sad but true....chicks have dozens of men contacting them, while you get fat chicks...but everyone gets fat chicks contacting them.....ignore and contact only attractive women and accept rejection...keep plowing!

 

[TheBrutalGourmet]

I think my location is another stumbling block. Small town almost 40 miles from any decent sized city. Myself? I'm short, 5'6" but I'm in pretty damn good shape. Better than when I left the Army. I'm losing my hair so I keep it shaved Statham style. I have been told I'm not bad looking. I don't really consider it. I have a good talking game and good humor. Just never felt good at or well equiped for the online thing. Getting all hippo attention didn't help.

 

[Warrior74]

I honestly for the life of me cannot do the internet dating thing. I'm less than average on attractiveness, I don't photograph well and I suck at writing. I gave up on it a while back.

 

[tryst type]

Funny story; met a girl in real life and a day after the initial number exchange I get this text:

"So I was just talking to a friend who says she met you off OKC and you ****ed her"

It's like I can't escape this online thing!

Oh and looks do play a major role in online dating I know this for a fact because upon message exchanges girls would constantly reply then in mid conversations they'd say they're now reading what I have down for info. So looks first, profile after they decided you're cute enough to engage.

 

[MikeOck]

....I have tons of experience with it, have written guides, and helped some good friends maximize it's utility....

Do you have a link to these guides? I've never tried online dating but I'm thinking about putting up a profile just to see what bites.

 

[Colossus]

http://jaqenhghar.blogspot.com/p/online-dating.html

Keep in mind it's just a template. I outlined what worked for me.

With writing I will say that less is more. I've read guys' profiles and they come off as too try-hard. Your pics and social highlights do most of the talking. Stuff like your job, an eclectic interest, or something interesting from your past. Dont try to sell yourself. Also keep your messages short and sweet. Believe it or not every guy tries to be clever, and girls rumple their stuck up little noses at it. Let them contact you, or just send a quick note. Never start with flattery.

I operated on the assumption that I brought more to the table than 90% of girls out there. And it was true. Just have confidence they are all much more banal than they portray themselves.

 

[Big Nuts]

I operated on the assumption that I brought more to the table than 90% of girls out there. And it was true. Just have confidence they are all much more banal than they portray themselves.

^This.

99% really.

 

[MaddXMan]

http://jaqenhghar.blogspot.com/p/online-dating.html

Keep in mind it's just a template. I outlined what worked for me.

With writing I will say that less is more. I've read guys' profiles and they come off as too try-hard. Your pics and social highlights do most of the talking. Stuff like your job, an eclectic interest, or something interesting from your past. Dont try to sell yourself. Also keep your messages short and sweet. Believe it or not every guy tries to be clever, and girls rumple their stuck up little noses at it. Let them contact you, or just send a quick note. Never start with flattery.

I operated on the assumption that I brought more to the table than 90% of girls out there. And it was true. Just have confidence they are all much more banal than they portray themselves.

All good tips which I have used. Also what works for me is using a random "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" quote for my headline - there's tons of them. It's funny and irreverent and gets women to message with something to joke about. Also it's my way of goofing on those who put some stupid "profound quote" on their profiles.

I also have 4 good pics of me with friends/kids and for my 5th pic I used a self shot put through that iphone fat app that makes me look huge with triple chins, the picture caption is "here's what you get when we meet in person." The women who think that is funny are the ones I want to meet.

Also in there somewhere I put that I play Candy Crush and a lot message me about that alone. They love playing Candy Crush and we can banter about who is ahead and who sucks.

My theme is loose, irreverent, funny, genuine and it works.

 

[Zarky]

I banged 8 chicks without even trying, all 7s-8s. The beauty of online dating is you can spin plates like a mofo with almost no effort.

There aren't 8 women with 7-8 looks in the entire online dating world.

The rest of your post I mostly agree with.

If a chick digs you and starts the avalanche of sh!t tests, you can happily shrug your shoulders knowing that there are thousands of other women online if this one gets silly.

It really is like shooting fish in a barrel...not sure how men have a hard time with it.....I could literally have 7 dates a week....I don't, because I am busy living. I have another buddy killing it online too.

But no, you couldn't line up 7 dates a week with HB7+s. There are a tiny handful of attractive women online and they get snapped up immediately. The most you can hope for from online dating is legions of pumps and dumps with 5s and 6s. I've been doing that for 10 years so I know.

 

[SteR]

There aren't 8 women with 7-8 looks in the entire online dating world.

The rest of your post I mostly agree with.



But no, you couldn't line up 7 dates a week with HB7+s. There are a tiny handful of attractive women online and they get snapped up immediately. The most you can hope for from online dating is legions of pumps and dumps with 5s and 6s. I've been doing that for 10 years so I know.

This is the one reason that holds me back from online dating: I don't believe the top women are to be found there. Every stunning woman I've managed to seduce has had so much attention in real life that she's never needed to even consider dating online.

All the girls I know who have tried online dating from work/friends are ~5-7.

I don't deny online dating works, and it's certainly a beneficial medium for meeting women for certain people, but as a guy who's aiming for the top women, I don't think I'll ever be able to find them there...

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong though (I'd welcome it). Have any of you guys landed legit attractive, sane, intelligent women from online dating? I'd be interested to know.

 

[Big Nuts]

Sorry Zarky, maybe they don't find you attractive or you've got no game. I only message 7-8s...there are no 9s and certainly no 10s.

I've had 3 dates in a single evening with a 7, 8, 7.5!

7 dates a week is easy....too tiring though.