Hi. We spend a lot of the time on the boards talking about how to spin plates, screen and approach but what rarely gets discussed is LTRs. Which contrary to popular belief here I don't think negatively of. I think when you find a quality enough girl and your frame is A1 they can be very enjoyable for a while.
With that being said, when I do get into relationships I follow these general rules and following these has allowed me to keep women as long as
I want.
- Don't see her more than 3 times a week.
'Distance makes the heart grow fonder rings true'. You actually should to be to busy to do this anyway, you have to have something going on, work, a passion, something. If your one of those guys who who sees their chick 8 out 7 days in the week expect the relationship to end really fast.
- Stay a bit closed off or hard to read
You still have to be interesting. Too many men make the mistake of getting into a relationship and then putting every fiber of their being on display for the woman. There should still be things she doesn't know about you, things you haven't told her. If a woman ever tells you
'I never quite know what you're thinking.' You're doing something right.
Dude gets into a relationship, and does everything possible to avoid disagreeing or arguing. Successfully dealing with conflict in relationships actually strengthens them. Do not shy away from expressing your dissatisfaction or you're actual opinion about a matter. You may argue at the time and she may get upset. But she'll get over it and respect you a hell of a lot more.
This ties into the above. Me my buddy and another were at a get together thoroughly enjoying ourselves when his girlfriend called. He answered chatted for a bit and told her he'd text her. When she asked why he simply told her '
I don't feel like talking to you right now.'
Now I know that seems like a d1ck move but he simply was telling the truth. Even if he wasn't with us he would've told her the same thing. She wanted to talk about politics and he previously told her that they were going to leave the topic alone All hell broke lose and they got into a big argument but the following day he said she gave him the best ******* out of the 2 years they been together.
Relationships benefit tremendously from space. When you don't live together it allows her hamster to spin because she doesn't know exactly where you are or what you're doing. There are exceptions, since living together is a natural step in a LTR, however, you shouldn't even be considering it unless you've been together for at least a year and some change.
- Establish early on that she won't be in contact with you every minute of the day
Occasional texts or calls here or there are fine. But don't be the guy texting his girlfriend 25/8 during the day. You girlfriend should already have set times in her head when she can contact you freely.These should be times like midday and beginning of the evening.
If you think for a second that because you have a girlfriend that you don't have to hit the gym then you've failed. You should still be hitting the gym, still flirt, and still have female friends and potential options if things ever go south. Don't ever get to engulfed into a relationship to where you forget there's an outside world. The game doesn't stop an neither should you.
You should always be calling the shots and making the tough decisions in a relationship. She should rely on you to make the final call and this should be with most things. 'Should we rent this car?' 'Should we pay this bill over that one?' 'Is this right?' 'Do we need a break?' You should confidently make decisions even if you aren't exactly sure if they're right. You are still human and capable of mistakes. However they should be
your mistakes.
This is only the beginning, I'll be adding more to the handbook later.
~SM
