Cloud-uk
Master Don Juan
Part I
Introduction:
Another post on mindset- why? Why fill this board with more abstract ideas and advice that seem to have very little to do with getting some girl you want?
Regression. Recently I've noticed that a good many people have complained that, upon stopping for a second and looking at where they are, they're not happy. In fact, they're fatigued, frustrated, angry and confused. These boys have I am sure put in a heroic effort but progressed a mediocre amount, or shot off but suddenly and bitterly come across an obstacle or setback that killed off their mack. A relapse for someone who has had a taste of what they could achieve is like the fate of Tantalus in Greek mythology, the eternal torment of having what we know we can have out of our reach.
If you are getting out there and doing your best, but either can't seem to get back to your previous heights or progress to where you want to be, I feel the following story will be of service:
" A man took his son out into their garden one day, sat him next to him and asked him "What is impossible to a man?". The son replied, "Nothing father, you have always taught me that a man can do anything if he desires it". The old man laughed "A textbook answer my boy, but let's see if you really understand". He gestured towards a huge pile of timber in the center of the garden, lit a cigarette and placed his matches on the arm of the bench on which they were sitting. "Son, there is £100 in a metal box under that timber. Remove the timber with your hands. I know you want it, so you should be able to get it". The son tried to shift the timber with his hands for the rest of the day, but the logs were to heavy and he managed nothing. Eventually he lay down exhasted, ready to quit. "My son, when we told you that anything is possible if you want it to be we said this because you are a man! Men can do anything not because they are the most determined of all animals, but because they can think! Running headfirst at a problem only produces results when you stop and realise it isn't working". The Old man handed the boy his box of matches. "It's the hand that strikes the match, no?". The next morning, when the fire had died down, the son could easily get hold of the prize that had been denied to him the day before."
So I emplore anyone who is frustrated with relapsing to a previous state or their lack of progress to throw any thoughts of quitting out the window. This will be a 6 part series, each one dealing with 5 points of Dale Carnegie's 'How to Make friends and Influence People'. This book is a lot about technique, but it will be used to tease out the mindset that we should all cultivate. Let me summarise by saying this- if you've put in the work and time, and not got enough out of it, then you're in trouble at the core. If the girls aren't happeneing, then you're giving off the wrong vibe. This is down to all down to you. Take a weekend, blitz it, and you really could get your mack back on track.
Part 1:
Each Part will take this format, I'll explain the point(s), grouped if they convey the same message, and when all 6 come together it should give you all a lot to think about. I know, the temptation is just to say "bah! I've got this all down to a letter, this isn't my problem". You may well be right, I am no judge, but I ignored advice like this about myself, and upon later reflection I found my advisors to be totally right. I'll try to keep it concise now the intro is done with, so i strongly recommend buying a copy of the book if you like what you read, especially from a techniques point of view.
1) Don't Criticise
2) Praise
Perhaps the most prominant influence on your state of mind, and thefore what is holding you back at the moment, is culture. Culture, at present, has two overwhelming messages. The first is be nice, and we all know where that gets you. The other is be a badass. What do i man by that? I mostly mean the gangsta thing, the way people are respected for having short fuses, killing people who speak bad about them, being hard.
"Toy Soldiers", the Eminem song, illustates this nicely. One thing races through my mind when I hear that video, and that is sensitivity. Really, the first thing you need to do for your mindset is to try your damn hardest to get rid of all the hate and anger and grudges you may hold. Don't think you have any? So did I until I realised I had a prejudiced hatred of Christians. If I missed something that big please try to give it a few minutes of your time. If you've ever said you'll kill someone in revenge, or still want to beat someone up for something, drop it. Drop it now.
Bullies from the present or past, *****es of ex-girlfriends, parents that walked out on you, the guys that tormented you when you were an AFC- Drop it all. I'm athiest, but Jesus and Gandi were both onto something huge when they preached this stuff. Hatred and anger do not arise from other people. They arise because of your insecurities. You will never be the man you should be if you hold on to hate.
Wiping the slate clean can be very hard, and it is something best done with action. Sincerely try to reconcile with anyone you hate. If you can't you need to work at it some more. It doesn't matter if they respond well, all that matters is that they don't matter to you anymore.
Abstaining from wanton criticism and the giving of praise are the external expressions of someone who is secure inside. We will come back to this a lot, so make sure you sit down after reading this, write down those that you hate, and do your best to sort yourself out.
3) Arouse desire
With hate gone the next point of call is to refine your views on other people. I know, this is supposed to be all about you, and it is. This is about how you feel. Put the sheet of names of people you have hated one side and find yourself a copy of the film "Citizen Kane" by Orson Welles. After watching it concider to yourself "Do I set out to make people like me, or make people want to like me?".
There is a simple but monumental point here. When you set out to attract girls or make friends, do you take the view "These people WILL like me! I WILL get this girl in bed!"? This is the view Kane took, and he ended his life alone. Consider, has all you have been doing to progress yourself been to make people like you? Or have you been doing it to become a better person? The first time I saw this question, I dissmissed it as stupid- we are here to get girls, we change to get girls. Now I understand the real point of it, and I am left with trouble articulating it. It is not a question about who you are improving for, it is a question about what vibe you give off. People will never be made to do anything they don't want to (except by gunpoint), and this includes the fairer sex. If you go up to a girl thinking "Hey, I'm a built, sexy, teststerone fuled male so she will like me!", she'll smell it a mile off and you will get nowhere. If you walk up thinking "Hey, I'm happy with the way I look, and bet that girl will like me when I talk to her", I would put money of success being higher. Just read the two statements- who do you prefer!
What is the difference? The first thought of of a guy who has changed to MAKE girls like him like they are mere machines. You can't force the mack! This is a terrible mindest. The second is of a guy who has changed himself to be happy, and to LET girls want him! This is the difference, and the second will succeed because he is arousing desire in his target, not forcing it or expecting it.
Introduction:
Another post on mindset- why? Why fill this board with more abstract ideas and advice that seem to have very little to do with getting some girl you want?
Regression. Recently I've noticed that a good many people have complained that, upon stopping for a second and looking at where they are, they're not happy. In fact, they're fatigued, frustrated, angry and confused. These boys have I am sure put in a heroic effort but progressed a mediocre amount, or shot off but suddenly and bitterly come across an obstacle or setback that killed off their mack. A relapse for someone who has had a taste of what they could achieve is like the fate of Tantalus in Greek mythology, the eternal torment of having what we know we can have out of our reach.
If you are getting out there and doing your best, but either can't seem to get back to your previous heights or progress to where you want to be, I feel the following story will be of service:
" A man took his son out into their garden one day, sat him next to him and asked him "What is impossible to a man?". The son replied, "Nothing father, you have always taught me that a man can do anything if he desires it". The old man laughed "A textbook answer my boy, but let's see if you really understand". He gestured towards a huge pile of timber in the center of the garden, lit a cigarette and placed his matches on the arm of the bench on which they were sitting. "Son, there is £100 in a metal box under that timber. Remove the timber with your hands. I know you want it, so you should be able to get it". The son tried to shift the timber with his hands for the rest of the day, but the logs were to heavy and he managed nothing. Eventually he lay down exhasted, ready to quit. "My son, when we told you that anything is possible if you want it to be we said this because you are a man! Men can do anything not because they are the most determined of all animals, but because they can think! Running headfirst at a problem only produces results when you stop and realise it isn't working". The Old man handed the boy his box of matches. "It's the hand that strikes the match, no?". The next morning, when the fire had died down, the son could easily get hold of the prize that had been denied to him the day before."
So I emplore anyone who is frustrated with relapsing to a previous state or their lack of progress to throw any thoughts of quitting out the window. This will be a 6 part series, each one dealing with 5 points of Dale Carnegie's 'How to Make friends and Influence People'. This book is a lot about technique, but it will be used to tease out the mindset that we should all cultivate. Let me summarise by saying this- if you've put in the work and time, and not got enough out of it, then you're in trouble at the core. If the girls aren't happeneing, then you're giving off the wrong vibe. This is down to all down to you. Take a weekend, blitz it, and you really could get your mack back on track.
Part 1:
Each Part will take this format, I'll explain the point(s), grouped if they convey the same message, and when all 6 come together it should give you all a lot to think about. I know, the temptation is just to say "bah! I've got this all down to a letter, this isn't my problem". You may well be right, I am no judge, but I ignored advice like this about myself, and upon later reflection I found my advisors to be totally right. I'll try to keep it concise now the intro is done with, so i strongly recommend buying a copy of the book if you like what you read, especially from a techniques point of view.
1) Don't Criticise
2) Praise
Perhaps the most prominant influence on your state of mind, and thefore what is holding you back at the moment, is culture. Culture, at present, has two overwhelming messages. The first is be nice, and we all know where that gets you. The other is be a badass. What do i man by that? I mostly mean the gangsta thing, the way people are respected for having short fuses, killing people who speak bad about them, being hard.
"Toy Soldiers", the Eminem song, illustates this nicely. One thing races through my mind when I hear that video, and that is sensitivity. Really, the first thing you need to do for your mindset is to try your damn hardest to get rid of all the hate and anger and grudges you may hold. Don't think you have any? So did I until I realised I had a prejudiced hatred of Christians. If I missed something that big please try to give it a few minutes of your time. If you've ever said you'll kill someone in revenge, or still want to beat someone up for something, drop it. Drop it now.
Bullies from the present or past, *****es of ex-girlfriends, parents that walked out on you, the guys that tormented you when you were an AFC- Drop it all. I'm athiest, but Jesus and Gandi were both onto something huge when they preached this stuff. Hatred and anger do not arise from other people. They arise because of your insecurities. You will never be the man you should be if you hold on to hate.
Wiping the slate clean can be very hard, and it is something best done with action. Sincerely try to reconcile with anyone you hate. If you can't you need to work at it some more. It doesn't matter if they respond well, all that matters is that they don't matter to you anymore.
Abstaining from wanton criticism and the giving of praise are the external expressions of someone who is secure inside. We will come back to this a lot, so make sure you sit down after reading this, write down those that you hate, and do your best to sort yourself out.
3) Arouse desire
With hate gone the next point of call is to refine your views on other people. I know, this is supposed to be all about you, and it is. This is about how you feel. Put the sheet of names of people you have hated one side and find yourself a copy of the film "Citizen Kane" by Orson Welles. After watching it concider to yourself "Do I set out to make people like me, or make people want to like me?".
There is a simple but monumental point here. When you set out to attract girls or make friends, do you take the view "These people WILL like me! I WILL get this girl in bed!"? This is the view Kane took, and he ended his life alone. Consider, has all you have been doing to progress yourself been to make people like you? Or have you been doing it to become a better person? The first time I saw this question, I dissmissed it as stupid- we are here to get girls, we change to get girls. Now I understand the real point of it, and I am left with trouble articulating it. It is not a question about who you are improving for, it is a question about what vibe you give off. People will never be made to do anything they don't want to (except by gunpoint), and this includes the fairer sex. If you go up to a girl thinking "Hey, I'm a built, sexy, teststerone fuled male so she will like me!", she'll smell it a mile off and you will get nowhere. If you walk up thinking "Hey, I'm happy with the way I look, and bet that girl will like me when I talk to her", I would put money of success being higher. Just read the two statements- who do you prefer!
What is the difference? The first thought of of a guy who has changed to MAKE girls like him like they are mere machines. You can't force the mack! This is a terrible mindest. The second is of a guy who has changed himself to be happy, and to LET girls want him! This is the difference, and the second will succeed because he is arousing desire in his target, not forcing it or expecting it.
Go **** yourselves!