Doing things the "DJ" way got me OUSTED? Damn I am bumming tonite.

[badger04]

Naturally as you can tell from the post I am bumming tonite. The EX called tonite to "remind" me that she still has some cloths of mine at her place. Of course I couldn't get the hell off the phone fast enough and she proceeded to tell me how her new "love" just does everything so much better and treats her PERFECT.
DAMNNNNNNNNN. I did all I could do for this girl " I THOUGHT" now she has some fool who spends every waking moment with her, Does anything for her, totally is there 24/7 for her, gives her his damn car to drive, takes her out every night, and so on and on and on...........
I truly thought these were all "bad" things to do with a girl after 2-3 weeks but apparently there are ALOT of girls out there who WANT to be treated like this and will move on to someone better if they don't get it from you.
So much for trying to be a little mysterious and not give " to much" all the time.
Damn I really cared about this girl and the whole time I was with her actually "wanted" to kiss ass but did not let myself do so.
I guess you can't win either way can ya.

Thanks for letting me vent guys...............

 

[E-Z Rider]

Sometimes it doesn't work out.

The best aspect of this site, as far as the most accsessable, is getting chicks interested. Start doing that, move on.

You're still learning how to do all of this. You've got to find what works for you, find an equilibrium.

Remember, AFC's get chicks too. Sometimes (albeit rarely) they can keep them, too. But how could you ever live with yourself knowing that you had to do all of that to keep a girl?

You'll learn. You'll be happy. Keep truckin;.

-E-Z

 

[digitalrat]

She's bull****ing you. She most likely doesnt have a new guy and she's just telling you that to make you jealous. Don't pay no mind to her **** tests. Just ignore it and move on.

 

[mousepad764]

thansk for bringing this shi* up I reember now that my ex has some of my shirts. How do I go about getting them back? that beocch hasn't said shi* about my shirts.


"What is life? It is Too $hort
I play the *****es like it's a sport
Yea, I'll play the *****es just like y'all
Like Dr. J played basketball"

 

[Player_Supreme]

Quote:

I did all I could do for this girl " I THOUGHT" now she has some fool who spends every waking moment with her, Does anything for her, totally is there 24/7 for her, gives her his damn car to drive, takes her out every night, and so on and on and on...........


Better him than you! Let him be her fawking assed slave. The best revenge is living well. Go get a bunch of women for your team and live well....and let "her" funky ass see you player!

 

[badger04]

Maybe I am just screwed up in the logic here. I am usually pretty busy but I know for a fact that I did more the this girl in 7 MONTHS than anyone else I have ever dated PERIOD.
Did you ever notice that girls ALWAYS seem to find a new love "BEFORE" you break up so that they run right to this person the next day and are together with them.
DAMN, If I had known this was going to happen I would have had someone in the waiting to run to and start seeing.
In all reality I had a good one and blew it off. So naturally now comes the time for the next few weeks where I have to sit and think about what I lost.
I have already been with someone but it didn't feel the same at all so who knows.
Sometimes I guess you have to just realize that you ****ed up and theres nothing you can do that can bring them back.
I am SURE almost POSITIVE Ill get blasted for this but I would bet that almost EVERY guy on this site thinks about one certain girl they were with and wished it could have worked out better.
Call me AFC But I guess I have learned that when you find someone whos pretty special you need to drop the bull**** and be there for them, do things for them, be the best BF you can be or some mother prick is going to do it for them and your history.

 

[E-Z Rider]

Originally posted by badger04
Maybe I am just screwed up in the logic here. I am usually pretty busy but I know for a fact that I did more the this girl in 7 MONTHS than anyone else I have ever dated PERIOD.
Did you ever notice that girls ALWAYS seem to find a new love "BEFORE" you break up so that they run right to this person the next day and are together with them.
DAMN, If I had known this was going to happen I would have had someone in the waiting to run to and start seeing.
In all reality I had a good one and blew it off. So naturally now comes the time for the next few weeks where I have to sit and think about what I lost.
I have already been with someone but it didn't feel the same at all so who knows.
Sometimes I guess you have to just realize that you ****ed up and theres nothing you can do that can bring them back.
I am SURE almost POSITIVE Ill get blasted for this but I would bet that almost EVERY guy on this site thinks about one certain girl they were with and wished it could have worked out better.
Call me AFC But I guess I have learned that when you find someone whos pretty special you need to drop the bull**** and be there for them, do things for them, be the best BF you can be or some mother prick is going to do it for them and your history.

Nah I don't think it's AFC to think a girl is special.

But...if she's your ONLY real option, then she's going to appear more special than she really is. If you know you could get with several other chicks at the drop of a hat, and you STILL found this one truly appealing, then you might have something special.

And about "dropping the bullsh*t" and being a "good boyfriend"...does something make you think that you can't be a good boyfriend and be a DJ?

I swear, this jerk/nice-guy obsession is really detrimental to the people on this board.

You can be a good boyfriend. You SHOULD be a good boyfriend if you believe she has proven herself worthy. Now...this doesn't mean go become her tool. You have to respect yourself first, and then her. You need to be a man who loves her, and wants her around, but at the core of things doesn't *need* her. A man who will put his foot down.

This doesn't mean you can't do anything for her. The best way to do things for her is to do them spontaneously, randomly, and without her prompting.

You'll learn how to manage yourself in a LTR over time. It is the hardest area of DJ-ing...one that this board cannot help you with very much b/c it's neccessarily based on YOU and not a set of 'techniques', and, despite their best attempts, the other members here cannot help you b/c they cannot understand the specific intricacies of your relationship; nobody can but yourself.

The most important thing you can take from this site is the DJ mindset. It is what will guide you through life and LTR's.

And if it's any consolation-- Last year about this time the chick I had finally gotten as a gf (thanks to this site mainly) after having a long-ass AFC 'crush' , broke up with me. She started dating her old ex. I got pretty down...the DJ mindset I was cultivating helped me not get too depressed...but I seriously thought I would never find a girl that special again. That all the other ones would pale in comparison. That I could never feel that way about a girl again.

Now...I've just ended a 6 month relationship with a newer girl. And thinking back on that AFC crush girl, even if I could have her, I wouldn't want her. Her 'specialness' faded and I can see things I don't really like.

I got over her due to the "DJ mindset" (girls are not that valuable, I can find another one), getting a good social life, and then eventually having a LTR with another girl. I don't even think about the old one much anymore, even though we still talk.

So just stick with it, the stuff here is really good. You just have to learn how to suit it to yourself. Now that you don't have a gf to worry about, work on improving yourslef, and then move onto finding new chicks.

You'll be over her in no time.

Good luck- -E-Z

 

[Digital Mastermind1]

yup i went through this same thing twice in my AFC days and i felt down just like you. and you are right isnt it interesting how women just before they are going to dump you they find some one else and them drop the bomb on you . you know ive learned through this site go by the "RULE OF TWO" women that is and protecting your heart first until she has proven herself to be true just like they do.call it revenge or what ever but i will never be out done by a chick again (let them hurt for a change).

also you have to be a man and tell her that you are not going to satisfy every one of her little selfish desires or its over .

and about whether you will or not find another " SPECIAL WOMAN" like her dude there is always another woman like that ALWAYS. ive felt like this before and i know what im talking about so relax, have fun with your DJ skills and talk to women to get your mind of this chick (and please dont tell them your troubles with this chick).

 

[Don Gato]

There is a definite difference between being a good boyfriend and constantly kissing @ss. I think this site does a fine job of differentiating between the two. In effect, the DJ mindset prepares you to be a good boyfriend. I'll elaborate using my experience as an example.

Several years back, I met a girl whom I'd had a crush on for quite a while. At first I played it like a DJ, and sure enough landed the girl. During this period, she'd give me sh!t tests and I'd prevail. My main focus was ensuring my happiness by doing what I wanted. She was there to enhance it, but certainly wasn't at the center of my universe. I made this abundantly clear and she fell for me hard.

Over time, I began to really fall in love with her. It was around this time my inner AFC came out and the balance of power shifted. Somehow, I developed the mentality that, to show her I truly love her, she must become the center of my universe. I thought I must do everything for her to ensure her happiness. In the process, my happiness was put on the back burner and I basically became her whipping boy. I was at her beckon call at all times. She became my entire life, and I was devoted to making her happy.

Whatever she wanted, she got--including getting married. Despite the fact that she had shown me with her actions and literally TOLD me that I was not a real man, I married her. I figured "it's my fault she feels that way, and I must do more to show her I love her". I spent the next few years married and miserable because, as one would expect, everything I did was never enough. It was impossible to satisfy her. Everything we did were things she wanted to do. She didn't want a yes-man though...she wanted a REAL man.

I had suspected that she was cheating on me, and one day confirmed it. This was sort of like a slap in the face wake up call. I had an epiphany and thought "what the fvck has happened to me?!" I kicked her to the curb and haven't looked back. I'm happier now than I have ever been and realize I'm not worthless (as she had led me to believe).

I guess my point is that the Don Juan mentality is not only good for attracting women, but absolutely necessary to keep them. As much as I hate to admit it, my ex was right---at that point I WASN'T a real man. Never lose sight of the fact that you deserve only the best and that the woman is there to enhance your life, not be the center of it. Despite what they say, they don't want some schmuck who does everything they want. They want a MAN (i.e. one who lives his life with the DJ mentality).

Nowhere in the bible does it say "treat women like sh!t", nor does it advocate it. Being a DJ means living your life to the fullest. Treat your woman with respect and love, but DO NOT constantly kiss her @ss. If your ex does have some new AFC who constantly sucks her @ss, I assure you that it will not last. Eventually she'll lose all respect for him. She may like the attention at first, but it's d@mn near impossible to maintain an LTR with someone you don't respect.

Also, even though I left her, I sat around thinking "I'll never find another girl as good as she was". A few months later, I met another girl, broke up with her, and thought the same thing. A few months after that, the same thing happend. I realized that every girl I met, I would think the same thing. Notice that I kept meeting such great girls though. There really are an infinite number of great chicks out there...now get out and find some!

 

[NewMan]

Getting women and keeping them are 2 different things.

DJ skills should be used as a guildline to get women - but these things are definitely not set in stone.

They are ideas and concepts. Many people here have had similar circumstances and can offer advice - but there really is noone that has gone through the exact same thing as you. Every situation is a little different.

DJ'ing and the bible is great to read, is a good confidence builder and is definitely a starting point to get on with your life - but calling it "THE BIBLE" is a little egotistical - because it really is not that. It doesn't hold all the answers - in fact nothing can hold all the answers when it comes to women.

Your ex probably does have a guy - he's a REBOUND guy. He's doing everythign she wants to do - but how long will this last? not very long. He will never be able to maintain her interest - and she will not be interested in him for to long - I guarantee. Right now she's making you feel like sh#t by telling you how great he is to her..... Probably because she misses you and wants you to feel bad.

Realise this - and you will come out ahead. Tell her your happy for her - but that she really needs a real man.

Get back to DJing other chicks - this girl will probably call you back - they always usually do.

The problem is here though that when you find the woman - when you get an LTR - and the woman is worthy - you should be opening up to her - doing things for her - spending money on her. But you still keep your self respect. You take no sh#t - but you give her as much as you can without comprimising yourself.

It's tough and it's a fine balance. But when that woman is truly worthy, it's worth it.

 

[jbbrain]

Don Gato-

I dont have much to say except:

really really good reply. Listen to this man.

 

[digitalrat]

Would you want a girl to do anything and not be a challenge at all? I mean just a girl that kissed your ass 24/7. That would get boring quick. Look at it like that!

 

[NINJA PIMP]

cheer up buddy!

sounds like you just got rid of a gold-digging princess!

You should be celebrating instead of moping.

Thas the beauty of DJ attitude. You screen out these user-biatches who are just after your car, your $$$ and all that crap.

What is SHE doing to deserve all these things? What does SHE bring to the table for you, aside from letting you bang her?

Its time to stop wondering what makes these dumb broads happy and think about whats gonna make YOU happy!

YOU ARE THE PRIZE!

 

[Don Gato]

jbbrain--

Thanks! It was a long and difficult lesson, but I learned it well. I'll never make that mistake again.

 

[badger04]

If it wasn't for you guys I would have gone insane a while back... She actually called my shop today and started rambling as usual and I was starting to get bummed but somthing clicked in my head like a LIGHTBULB.
So, instead of letting her drag me down I totally turned it around on her and said " Hey you know what I am happy for you because if it hadn't been for you breaking up with me I would have never realized how damn hot I really am and how many girls would like the chance to date me. I also told her that naturally I was sorry for not being there enough for her and that you can bet the next girl I am with will recieve my attention 24/7 and she will be treated like a goddess. "just kidding her"
So I told her "thanks" for helping point out my flaws so to speak and I hope she has a good life and all that.
For some reason she started getting "pissy" and said Thats ****in great NOW you want to do all these things for someone else but not me JUST GREAT........ I feel like total **** and like crying THANKS ALOT..................
I told her that I had to go because she was going to take a final. and I had things to do as well.
Funny thing about this is she called me out of the blue around 7:30 to tell me how she did on her final and naturally I acted like I gave a crap and so forth. It felt really good today to act like it didn't bother me even though I am dying inside. She actually responded a little differently as well. Who the hell knows.
Another interesting tidbit was when she said that I screwed up and should not date a hot girl until I know how to treat them. I jokingly told her that she was NOT the first hot girl I have dated and surely won't be the last. I also reminded her that I was a pretty hot guy and will have no trouble finding dates.
She turned a little south on me at that point and said I think about you alot and I even had a dream about you last night.
OHHHHHH WELLLLLLLLLL ask me if I fukin care batch! YOU blew it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I forgot to give her the car title today for her car she had at my place so I called her after she left to remind her and she said " Yeah thats just so we will have a reason to see each other again. I thought NOPE tomorrow while shes at work I am slipping it under her door.
It's just REALLLLLLLLLLY hard to deal with this girl when she somes around and grabs and jokes at you while trying to grind up on your shat from behind and stuff. WHY in the hell do women do this when they are so happy with their new love life.

 

[MVPlaya]

I think what you need to realize is that there is no one simple DJ technique for all women... women are truly different.

There's actually a pretty interesting discussion on this topic, check it out:
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=42354

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by badger04
DAMN, If I had known this was going to happen I would have had someone in the waiting to run to and start seeing.

You should always, ALWAYS, have someone or several someones' on the backburner. ALWAYS.