Doing things step by step

[getBackUp]

Hi,

let us discuss the value of building up your confidence with women step by step. I am a guy who is very shy with women, I am stiff like a puppet, no facial expression, unemotional when talking to a hottie. I am working on softening and taking things easy and not caring.

All the time I keep reading advice in the forum like:

"Don't be a pvssy! Just go to a mall and cold approach! No excuses!"

It is my personal belief this is bullsh!t. Maybe it applies at your level, maybe your development is that far. But for me, it would be saying:

"You started learning karate last week? So what! Break those 15 bricks with your forehead, don't make excuses you pvssy!"

My strategy is being slow and persistent. I am going out and meeting friends more, socialising more, talking to women more, working patiently. Slowly I started smiling, a little bit of kino. I want to overcome my shyness. No, it doesn't get me laid. But I am realistic. A few months down the line, I will be able flirt like a normal human being, will persistently deal with rejection, and will get there at my own pace. It's hard and slow for me, I didn't have a sudden moment of revelation yet. It's a process.

That is my point of view, what is yours?

 

[Mr. Bond]

Do this. Good luck!

http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/djbc.pdf

 

[narcissist]

If you move at another persons pace you may become unmotivated.

Move at your own pace. As long as you're MOVING it doesn't matter.

Slow progression > No progression

Plus, it only begins with slow progression, eventually you hit the knee of the curve, and your progression sky rockets. It's exponential.

Good luck.

 

[_sideways_]

Damn....didn't we all go to grade school....I remember pulling on girls hair that I liked and so forth....if ur 30 or 21 and never teased a girl or messed with her head in anyway, or interacted in any fashion.....start!. We all know what to do. If its fear holding u back, then know your role troll. If u don't feel like ur a troll start proving ur self right. Don't go to the gym and whine about ur spaghetti arms, pick up some weights/girls and put in work.

 

[getBackUp]

Mr Bond, thanks! I am familiar with the DJBC and I quite like the articles. I tried doing the exercises and my confidence issues are far greater than those of a 'normal guy' for whom this was written. I am slowly making progress though and soon should be able to chat up girls on the street.

narcissist, thank you for your support. I am waiting for the knee of the curve, building towards it. I hope I'll reach it while I'm young!

_sideways_:

Don't go to the gym and whine about ur spaghetti arms, pick up some weights/girls and put in work.

Sorry but this is exactly the kind of random advice I was talking about in my thread.

 

[_sideways_]

I don't see why u won't go up to a strange girl u like walking the streets and saying hi. They love to talk.....following others advice will get u to finish the game, but it won't be as fun like if u discovered what ur capable on ur own. It's like ur saying that without this site, u would die sexless and alone. Maybe I'm just cranky because of all the what should I do threads.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Mr Bond, thanks! I am familiar with the DJBC and I quite like the articles. I tried doing the exercises and my confidence issues are far greater than those of a 'normal guy' for whom this was written. I am slowly making progress though and soon should be able to chat up girls on the street.

Great to hear that you're making progress. If you're looking for another step-by-step program, I tried out The Collection of Confidence by Hypnotica. It does cost money, so try boot camp first. However, I found the Collection of Confidence to be very helpful.

As long as you're pushing outside your comfort zone, you are making progress!

 

[Atom Smasher]

The easiest way is constant small-talk with people, wherever you go. Just make friendly conversation with no reward in mind and soon you will loosen up and your real personality will emerge.

 

[getBackUp]

The easiest way is constant small-talk with people, wherever you go. Just make friendly conversation with no reward in mind and soon you will loosen up and your real personality will emerge.

As simple and common sense and obvious as this advice is, and as many times as I read this in the DJ bootcamp, it still has not penetrated through my thick skull.

I think I must make a rule of talking to 5 or 10 strangers a day for 30 days because this is how long it takes to establish (or drop) a habit, and abide by this rule stupidly and without any deviation. Just out of pure necessity to meet the criterion, it would force me soon enough to explore new coffee shops, taste new restaurants, maybe even go to a club when running out of options. I think approaching (people not women) is easier if you have a number to fulfill, and it makes you proud at the end of the day. Probably even approaching a woman is not that hard when you keep in mind it is for a greater task (the 30 day game), not some result. I will have to settle on a number (5 a day, or 10, or in between?) and I will give my best not to chicken out after day 1, but the prospect to force yourself to chat with 10 new people a day (300 approaches a month) is scary as sh!t but I suppose that is the way to cultivate a habit and change.