"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Doing things a different way

Mr_knowit_all

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I hear a lot of talk on these boards about being "****y and Funny" "Neg hits" and so forth. These techniques might work fine for sparking interest in some women, but I really think there is a different way.

It's a novel approach that I've used, and it seems to really work well.

Let me ask you a question; besides looks and humor, what is ESSENTIAL for a woman to really be attracted to you? As Aretha Franklin would say R-E-S-P-E-C-T. That's right respect. No matter what anyone on this board or any other tells you, it's essential for a woman to respect you if she is to be truly attracted to you.

Being ****y and slightly arrogant can work well, but I wonder if they really trigger respect?

SO........how does one go about getting this mysterious thing called respect? Well there are a myriad of things you can do, but it boils down to not losing face in front of the woman you fancy. I've found that a combination of manners, having a back bone, and taking yourself seriously works quite well. For example; I don't think it's necessary to be all giddy when interacting with people. While this may make you seem nice, it certainly won't evoke respect. A different approach might be to act composed, yet be polite. When women think you're doing something just to gain their affection, it has little affect. But when you're not overly friendly, but still have impeccable manners, they're more apt to construe that as something genuine.

It's these very subtle things that can garner respect from women.

I'm not sure if this all makes sense, but hopefully you'll understand the gist of what I was getting at and use it to your advantage.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Distant Light

Master Don Juan
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Two words

"Frame Control"

Your Frame is could be so strong that you get respected because of it, this is only way I can see you gaining respect besides you already having it from the get go.

I find there are other more important Essentials but I don't want to go off topic
 
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I'm going to go a step further than respect, and that is BE YOURSELF. Now now, before we get all "realfreakinlost needs to jump off a bridge" like my friend Ace of Flames said earlier, think about it, are you truly, TRULY who you are? I'm not even talking about talking to girls, just talking to people in general.
 

Ace of Flames

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reallyfreakinlost said:
I'm going to go a step further than respect, and that is BE YOURSELF. Now now, before we get all "realfreakinlost needs to jump off a bridge" like my friend Ace of Flames said earlier, think about it, are you truly, TRULY who you are? I'm not even talking about talking to girls, just talking to people in general.
For once, I'm not bothered by your advice. Actually, I kind of like all the free publicity you're spreading around for me. ^_^

Ok, about respect. I agree that if a girl respects you, then you'll do well. The thing is, how much respect can you build in the few short minutes during a cold approach? Or when you open a group at a bar? Not much. That's when the stuff like C+F and Negs are your best options. On the other hand, if the girl is someone you see and talk to often, then respect plays a bigger part. Either way, C+F and the like are always good things to use. Don't stop doing them expecting 'respect' to get the job done alone.
 
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