doing everything right - and then bombed. wtf?

[ogre]

DJ's:

here are emails with a 31 yr old woman who placed a personals ad on craigslist. I did everything right - I think d'angelo would be proud - but then it just bombed. wtf just happend? I really wanna know! I shoulda been in her panties by now.


http://www.freewebs.com/ogrespage/catskill.htm

 

[Phrase]

Sounded great till the phone part, maybe the phone game wasn't good? If she don't respond next her and try again with someone else, could have just been the girl.. Who knows man, I have been talking to some internet chics as well.. very flaky at times.. Hell, could be PMS, Bi-polar, Schizo or just a *****.. One thing I can say I prefer meeting women outside.. but atleast I tried the internet thing.. don't get me wrong I have met some nice girls but over all benefit was not justified for me. Seems I stayed home more.

 

[gunf1ghter]

Your emails sounded like rehearsed material. You're trying to get a date, not be a stand-up comedian.

 

[ogre]

Your emails sounded like rehearsed material. You're trying to get a date, not be a stand-up comedian.

you're right, but I get this from reading all the dating guru advice. I have to follow the script until I can get good at my own groove. anyway the C+F went over well. so the stuff works.

the only thing I did really wrong in the phone convo is to stay on too long. the method is to keep it short and cut it off right just when she starts to feel comfortable and starts blabbering. Then say, oh shyt I gotta go.... anyway, I deviated from the tried and true methods and blammo! lost another one.

Ogre, you need to change your inner game. Your neediness/desperation inside is affecting your external actions.

Bingo. there is a serious flaw in my inner game which I'm just starting to figure out. deep-seated dysfuctional psychotherapy shyt going on. no need to go into it now, let's just say I recently had an "ah-ha!" moment and I'm working on it thru the proper venues.

She is uncertain and has "cold feet." Then you e-mail her the very next morning and imply that you can drive up to meet her and that you have friends to stay with.

Bingo again. freaked her out. she prolly thinks I'm a stalker now.

 

[ogre]

shyt, maximus, I don't do that clingy stuff - I am hardly a stalker - but I think I make women feel that I am a stalker. Even with one phone call.

And still this guy managed to score a hottie. even though he's prolly gonna blow it soon. just goes to show ya even the losers get lucky once in awhile, in spite of themselves. why not me?

 

[stevera004]

Originally posted by ogre
shyt, maximus, I don't do that clingy stuff - I am hardly a stalker - but I think I make women feel that I am a stalker. Even with one phone call.

And still this guy managed to score a hottie. even though he's prolly gonna blow it soon. just goes to show ya even the losers get lucky once in awhile, in spite of themselves. why not me?

Ogre,

Besides working on the inner game (this is the key, but improving inner game is difficult and is a life long process for most of us) you need to pursue 10 chicks like this in parallel. You just won't have the fvcking time to be clingy or 'stalker-like' or needy or whatever with any *particular* chick, since you'll be busy pursuing the other 9. Go for as many women as possible at first, includeing the fatties and the psychos etc. and keep improving the quality of your team. Come back once you reach this stage for further advice

 

[ogre]

you need to pursue 10 chicks like this in parallel.

I am. I posted this as a sample for diagnosis.

including the fatties and the psychos

ummm, no. I don't think so. no fatties for me. and I am just getting over a 3-month cyberspace ordeal with a psycho feminista.

 

[cinephile]

Relax dude. Compared to some of the stuff you were sending out earlier, you are making big improvements. Definately a much better photo, too. Just calm down on all the C+F stuff. You don't have to be all about Jokes 24-7

Remeber two things, we all have extended losing streaks (ugh, I am 0-9 as of now, and it sucks), and the internet personals are just simply a numbers game. Eventually, after much persevenrance, it will pay off and get better.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

i thought your corresp with this chick was okay, but a little "canned". i mean if if wasn't, she would have ended it sooner. i wouldn't have done those web links however.

but she ended it after your phone convo. it was something in the phone convo that spooked her--your voice, demeaner, vibe, or something????

i've read your other posts, and it seems that you have a serious congruency problem/issue. you come off in the right light with the email corresp, but then your true colors surface pretty quickly it seems and for some reason you're creeping chicks out.

but also, you are clearly making good progress. as others have said, your inner game needs work. not inner game with chicks, but inner game with yourself.

nevertheless, you have no idea what her intentions on posting on CL were in the first place. it could've just been a whim, or she's fishing for the perfect man. CL is full of psychos, men and women alike, although i have met a few really cool and hot chicks off of CL. as a matter of fact, i'm working on two absolutely beautiful ones right now from CL.

the chicks from CL are very aware of the volume of psychos that are on that site. so with CL, patience is a must.

 

[JoeBlack]

Get your advice from forums like this, but repeating things others say is just not gonna work.

You have to be able to come up with this stuff yourself or you are going to seem like you are fake and rehearsed.

Also yeah offering to go up to quick could have done it. I woulda said something like "well your pic looks nice, but based on how awesome I look you need to be coming up to see me "

Just joking with her, rather than getting heavy.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Your correspondence was not the problem although you seemed to be bashimg the small town experience until she told you to stop it - trying to be funny all of the time isn't funny - it gets annoying.

Never ask to see a girl from out of town - she'll invite you ONLY if she feels comfortable with you! Constant pressureing to see a girl is a no-no and calling a girl who didn't offer you her number is a big no-no, especially at night (gives a woman the stalker vibe).

She didn't give you her number because maybe she has a b/f or husband and got upset at you for taking the liberty invading her home. Maybe she wasn't feeling well because she is ending a relationship - hence, her search for a man on the internet abd wants to take things slow.

 

[Ricky]

Is craigslist a good place? I happened to look at a few things on there. Might be decent?