"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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doesn't leave voice messages

poohead

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what does it mean, if it means anything - when a girl you've been dating for a short while stops leaving voice mail messages, but just hangs up and waits for you to see she called on caller id and call back. calls are just as frequent. does this mean anything?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Macgyver

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It means she is lazy and probably thinks you don't deserve to have a nice voicemail message. Or it could mean nothing *ONLY* if she seems to have a pattern of calling you in a short time later.
 

JonJack

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Ask her if it means anything. If you don't want to do that, then no point wondering about it. Cause seriously, who the hell can give you the 'right' answer if not her?
 

Pimp-sicle

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I've got some insight and opinions on this question.


My last serious gf would always leave me voice messages when the relationship was at its best, even if the message was something lame like:

"hey babe its me call me when you get this."

However once the relationship started to spiral downwards she'd rarely leave messages. And once the shiat was truely hitting the fan, I would be shocked to recieve a voicemail.

As others have pointed out it also could mean she's lazy, but in my opnion if this girl was leaving you messages all the time and has suddenly stopped leaving you voicemails, there is trouble in paradise.

Have you guys been fighting or having any problems over the past few months???



PIMP
 

Vulpine

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I'm a busy guy. When jacka$$es have 15 minute voicemail messages, I don't sit through that garbage, I hang it up and go about my business. They see that I call and hit me back. It's a pet peave of mine, all you need is a greeting, a name to confirm the right number, and a tone.

So, poohead, if you have a crazy long VM message... *click*
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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poohead

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i've had the same message for years - it wasn't until she told me 'your voice mail message is too long' that i checked it and realized, yes, it is a little long. but now that she has pointed out that it is long, i feel like i can't change it because then i'd be trying too hard to please her.
 

Vulpine

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Here's what you do then: you make it a big deal. Next time there are a group of friends around, and her, you ask: Hey everyone, is my voicemail messge too long? Then, once EVERYONE agrees that it is, you aren't doing it just for her. Yeah?
 

tihash

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I see it as a shyt test, where you can't win either way.

If you call back, you look like a chump who checks his "missed calls" regularly looking to see if she called.

If you don't call back, she might interpret this as a sign of disinterest or be pissed or whatever.

The way I handle it is to bust them on it in a fun, laidback way:

"Hey HB, I saw you called and didn't leave a message. You're lucky I saw you called... my phone only shows me the last missed call, so if someone else called after you, I would have never know you even called! Next time, leave a voicemail. I love hearing your little messages anyway."

If she does that shyt again, I call back a day or two later (not the same night) and say something like:

"Hey, did you call me yesterday? You didn't leave a v/m. You know, if you're not trainable, let me know now..." and take it from there.
 
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