Does your company (friends) affect your reputation and chances of getting quality?

[AmIAFC]

I was at a family get-together this weekend, and we (family members) were encouraged to invite friends to the party. Naturally, I brought some of my oldest friends, people with whom I grew up, and this irritated both my mother and aunt.

When we got together privately, they were telling me how disappointed they were that I was hanging with them still, and that my "good reputation" was being compromised as a result of my relationship with them.

Now, my friends don't have a squeaky clean rap sheet. Everyone knows them. They still do drugs, drink, and get into fights, but they've always had my back and they've never pressured me into doing things I was uncomfortable with. None of them have a college education, a few don't even have a GED. Some of them aren't going in the right direction, but they don't drag me to wherever the hell it is they want to go.

Then my sister comes into the picture, saying the same stuff my mother and aunt pointed out. She claimed a few of her friends expressed interest in me, but they also asked her about my boys. Basically, what she stated in so many words is that some of her friends talk about me but they worry about my company.

Now, what I ask the DJs of this site is this: Can having infamous social circle influence a girl's decision as to whether she would associate herself with you or not? Should it matter? Should I even care, because at this point I don't.

 

[WC2]

The answer is yes and no.

On one hand it doesn't matter what a woman thinks of your social circle. If you start changing things like your friends for women, who knows what else you'll start changing. Keep your friends if you like them and they benefit you. If a woman has a problem with it, tell her to hit the road (take a look at her friends btw). Did your aunt and sister bring this up to you as if it was a long time coming or was it just out of the blue? I could see if it's been going this way for awhile, but if this was out of the blue then damn a bit snobby huh?

On the other hand, your social circle does matter. TO YOU. If your friends aren't benefiting and challenging you to be all you can be, then there's really no reason to have them. If they aren't doing at least 1 of these things, they are in effect using you. Do you friends have ambitions in life? Will they help you out if need be? Do they have a strong sense of well being?

The bottom line is -

Change your social circle for YOU, not for women. When you start changing yourself for women, you start becoming what all women despise - a pushover sissy boy. They mold us into this stuff for relationship material and then spit us out once they've gotten too used to the mold. Make your own mold and don't adjust to hers. That way she'll be wiggling around that mold for awhile.

 

[Ripper]

Exactly what I would have said. Nicely put as well.

 

[AKA FLEX]

If you work it right you should still be able to pull these chicks if they have expressed interest, even if they have shown reservation about your social circle. But WC2 is right, if you feel like these guys are dragging you down and you can't honestly see a real benefit to being friends with them, it's time to find new friends.

 

[TheGameMaster]

your friends can influence a girls decision ALOT. if they dont respect you then girls wont go for you if they see you put up with being disrespected. i had this problem but i got new friends and if they respect you then they can have a positive influence.

 

[Violent V]

I think your sister is just making it up thinking you'll desperately ditch these friends in hope of getting one of her girls. Sounds like BS to me.