"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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does this girl just play guys?

R

randalll

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would a girl ever text you and ask if she could come over to your flat if she wasnt interested in you?

this girl i used to date for a short while (back then she said she liked me quite a lot) texted me recently asking if she could come over to mine. she also asked me to hang out in town with her twice last week and i said i was at a friends house both times so couldnt make it.. i do like this girl but i know that i shouldnt see her anymore, lots of people have told me to stay away from her.. saying she's 'damaged goods'.

she does have a lot of issues, and does sleep around a lot, but she's the only girl ive been with and is cool to talk to and a good laugh (a decent 9 aswell) .. so it is difficult to put her to the back of my mind, especially when she makes out like shes interested.

she also said she's getting back with her ex (who she cheated on)

when she told me this i kind of went afc.. and a bit quieter, i know it was a mistake but it just messed with my head why she would hang out with me if she was gonna be getting back with her ex

would you cut this girl out altogether? or talk to her about any of this?

thanks

randall
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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C

Clash113

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Yeah, I can see where some girls would say that **** to get a guy excited and then not show up, but I think you're good here.
 
J

jacob

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this kinda relationship will drive you crazy and take your soul. If you're strong enough to just disappear then do it, or she'll string you along until you go nuts. you remember the movie "boogie nights"? Where the guy was married to a porn star and she would have orgies with other guys in front of him and snap and belittle him but he couldn't leave her cause he was so attached and then commited suicide. I know you love this chic especially if she's effing you, any guy can tell you not to fall in love but this is a lie, emotions will get involved, and if you say she's a 9 and sleeping around she knows how her beauty makes guys attached to her that she can do anything she pleases even if it is effing someone else. You're in a spiritual battle right now.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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R

randalll

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do you think its best to just get out asap? only problem is.. shes quite a big part of my social life and ive made a lot of friends through her so it wouldnt be easy to cut contact altogether.

she also gets paranoid that i dont like her whenever i say im busy and cant see her.

also, she was asking me why i went all quiet the other night. i didnt say anything about it but i said id tell her another time so ive got to now really.. what should i say if she asks me about it again. i dont wanna say its because i still like her. would be a big mistake but at the same time it seems like the only thing that would sort this out. because i dont want things to carry on as they are now
 
S

Social Calibration

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I don't think you should get out, but see if you can be 'friends with benefits', you guys already seem cool so why not make the best of it? If it doesn't work out then no harm done, you can either decide to cut her out or remain platonic friends.

And who cares if she gets paranoid. Let her deal with that, don't be her emotional tampon.
 
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