"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Does this chick really "like" me or is she playing games?

The Comeback Kid

Master Don Juan
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I haven't really posted here lately, but I need some help in figuring out what is going on with this situation between me and a girl. For a little background, we work at the same place. At first, she worked in the department I'm in, but was moved to another department, although everyone sees each other, so it's all good.

With that in mind, the first time I met this girl, I thought she was pretty attractive. Along with being physically good-looking (HB8), she also posesses an awesome personality. Over time, I picked up on a few things, most notably that she is quite the flirt. She is touchy, in that she'll often touch my hand, my arm, my chest or my shoulder when we talk. Of course, she touches other people too, but I've noticed this happens with me the most (of course that's a good thing). Because I could tell she is a flirt, I didn't let anything she did get into my head. The same could not be said for my co-worker (in the same department as me), who instantly developed feelings for her. I basically just kept things loose and I noticed I somehow became a lot better at the C+F concept.

Fast forward a few weeks (to where we are now). The girl hates my co-worker (with tension growing even more). She cites that he's rude and doesn't have manners, and that he doesn't talk to my boss well - there are also some moments where he completely killed any chance he may have had with her. However, she apparently likes me. We tend to really get along well, I can get her to laugh (she keeps saying I am very funny), and I present myself as being confident and being in control of my actions.

Yesterday, things got interesting. She came in a bit late to work, and soon claimed that she had no one's number to call to get the right time (she was talking to me, my boss and my co-worker). Yes, you're thinking exactly what I did: she walked right into that one, and I now had the perfect opportunity to get her number :up:. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I replied, "Well, none of us have your number, so that may be a problem" with a little smile. She comes back with, "true...I'll definitely give you my number TCK." :up: A short while later, she comes into where I am again (I am with my boss, co-worker and two other co-workers we're friends with) and as she figures out how to give me her number, my boss says "So, you gonna give him your digits?" Immediately, she grabs my cell phone, and puts her number in. As she hands it back, she says w/ a little smirk, "Use it wisely. ;) " Also, while she was giving me her #, she made a jab at my co-worker (the one she hates) by saying "Are you jealous that TCK is getting my number and you aren't?" After that, I didn't really see her much the rest of the day. She somehow was able to get into a call when I was on the office phone with someone else in the office (she said "hi TCK"). She also came by to say good bye as she was leaving, maintaing a lot of eye contact.

Alright, so there you have it. What do you make of this? Perhaps w/e the answer is seems real easy for you, but for me I'm not 100%. My boss thinks she likes me, my co-worker (who I am friends with) thinks she's using me. For one thing, I mentioned she is a flirt, and I've been burned by this in the past. She is also two years older than me (I am 19, she is 21). She lives close to an hour away from me as well. Despite this, I only have one real concern: Let's just say I am not the most "experienced" guy out there. I've never "hit a home run" and I've never had a serious relationship. I haven't been on a date in over a year. I don't want this to come and bite me when it's all said and done.

P.S. This girl and I are off work for basically the entire week. I think I am going in for one day, perhaps that'll be the day I try something (she lives about 20 mins from my job while I live 45 mins away)?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ValleyDJing

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Looks like a crapshoot man. It could go either way. Only one way to find out.
 

sam3083

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Come on dude. The answers right there. Grab your balls and just ask her. 100% guaranteed to give you the answer.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Well since you have her number. I would call her sometime and ask her out to lunch for the weekend. See how it goes from there.
 

Lost1

Don Juan
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Duhh do you really need to even ask?? How clueless can you be..call her and ask her out.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Jestor

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 5, 2005
Messages
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The Comeback Kid said:
I haven't really posted here lately, but I need some help in figuring out what is going on with this situation between me and a girl. For a little background, we work at the same place. At first, she worked in the department I'm in, but was moved to another department, although everyone sees each other, so it's all good.

With that in mind, the first time I met this girl, I thought she was pretty attractive. Along with being physically good-looking (HB8), she also posesses an awesome personality. Over time, I picked up on a few things, most notably that she is quite the flirt. She is touchy, in that she'll often touch my hand, my arm, my chest or my shoulder when we talk. Of course, she touches other people too, but I've noticed this happens with me the most (of course that's a good thing). Because I could tell she is a flirt, I didn't let anything she did get into my head. The same could not be said for my co-worker (in the same department as me), who instantly developed feelings for her. I basically just kept things loose and I noticed I somehow became a lot better at the C+F concept.

Fast forward a few weeks (to where we are now). The girl hates my co-worker (with tension growing even more). She cites that he's rude and doesn't have manners, and that he doesn't talk to my boss well - there are also some moments where he completely killed any chance he may have had with her. However, she apparently likes me. We tend to really get along well, I can get her to laugh (she keeps saying I am very funny), and I present myself as being confident and being in control of my actions.

Yesterday, things got interesting. She came in a bit late to work, and soon claimed that she had no one's number to call to get the right time (she was talking to me, my boss and my co-worker). Yes, you're thinking exactly what I did: she walked right into that one, and I now had the perfect opportunity to get her number :up:. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I replied, "Well, none of us have your number, so that may be a problem" with a little smile. She comes back with, "true...I'll definitely give you my number TCK." :up: A short while later, she comes into where I am again (I am with my boss, co-worker and two other co-workers we're friends with) and as she figures out how to give me her number, my boss says "So, you gonna give him your digits?" Immediately, she grabs my cell phone, and puts her number in. As she hands it back, she says w/ a little smirk, "Use it wisely. ;) " Also, while she was giving me her #, she made a jab at my co-worker (the one she hates) by saying "Are you jealous that TCK is getting my number and you aren't?" After that, I didn't really see her much the rest of the day. She somehow was able to get into a call when I was on the office phone with someone else in the office (she said "hi TCK"). She also came by to say good bye as she was leaving, maintaing a lot of eye contact.

Alright, so there you have it. What do you make of this? Perhaps w/e the answer is seems real easy for you, but for me I'm not 100%. My boss thinks she likes me, my co-worker (who I am friends with) thinks she's using me. For one thing, I mentioned she is a flirt, and I've been burned by this in the past. She is also two years older than me (I am 19, she is 21). She lives close to an hour away from me as well. Despite this, I only have one real concern: Let's just say I am not the most "experienced" guy out there. I've never "hit a home run" and I've never had a serious relationship. I haven't been on a date in over a year. I don't want this to come and bite me when it's all said and done.

P.S. This girl and I are off work for basically the entire week. I think I am going in for one day, perhaps that'll be the day I try something (she lives about 20 mins from my job while I live 45 mins away)?
Get her to your place or hers and have sex with her. Not rocket science.
 

navyseal2101

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Yea, it seems like shes into you. Just keep doing what your doing I guess and ask her out.
 
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