"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Does she like me?

Mixedlinks

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Long story short...I met this girl and our first date went well, we laughed and enjoyed each others company. The day after the first date, I called her and we confirmed a second date which I asked her on.

In between the first and in between the second date, we spoke twice on the phone for an hour each time and we also texted each other almost every day. We would take turns initiating the text (ex: if I started a text on Mon., she would start a new one on Tues.)

The second date was ok, she was more quiet than the first day date and didnt seem as interested in asking questions and talking. After I walked her home, she texted me that she hopes I get home safe and I said thanks and hope I didnt bore her. She replied with, that I didnt bore her and shouldnt feel bad but that she is not good at dating and does not like to date because it is too much pressure and that she is getting to know me and prefers to hangout. I communicated to her that I understand and that dating is about going with the flow and feeling no pressure. After this conversation, I didnt text or call her and she didnt text or call me for 4 days. On the 4th day she texted me with "wasup" and I replied all is well, are you getting better at the game we played during our last outing and she said, cool, and not really. I thought her message was kind of lame so I said wow your last message is the most exciting thing I've heard about all week. She hasn't responded to my last message which was sent today.

My question, is this girl genuinely interested in me, unsure, being overly cautious, or hard to get?

My plan is to wait for her to ask me out on a date. Thoughts and suggestions guys???
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Tiguere

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how come you didnt go for the kiss in any of the 2 dates?

what you did for the first and second date?

i cringed when i read "i hope i didnt bore you" ....when you told her this you displayed insecurity/ making her the prize / she should be the one doing all the worrying/hoping/expecting/.
 

Mixedlinks

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Tiguere said:
how come you didnt go for the kiss in any of the 2 dates?

what you did for the first and second date?

i cringed when i read "i hope i didnt bore you" ....when you told her this you displayed insecurity/ making her the prize / she should be the one doing all the worrying/hoping/expecting/.
I wasn't in the mood and she is reserved.

Dinner and movie on the 1st date. She selected the venue but I came up with other ideas but she wanted to go to the movies. For the second date we went bowling.

I agree with the part about "I hope I didn't bore you." I should have known better.
 

Let's Get Real

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She's unsure

Could be about you or from another guy she's dating. Don't get all insecure about it though. That won't help. It's only the second date.

"I said thanks and hope I didnt bore her"

I take it you're new here? This shows that you like her and that you're insecure. Don't ever ask it. It's not your job to entertain her. She's on the date too. Unless everytime she tried to do something you were a party killer.

What kind of happened in the last text is that she initiated and then you shot her down for no apparent reason.

I hope she didn't take the last text serious.

I would tell her to come out with me and then depending how she is acting I would tell her that we should just be friends if she feels too much pressure dating. And tell her that you're doing it for her. That's if she's acting distant.

How pretty is she by the way?
 

Jeffst1980

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You are playing it safe, and THAT is boring her.
If she accepts a date, she is interested in you--so, you have the green light to flirt with her, kiss her, etc. If you hesitate, or try to make sure she feels "comfortable," you are supplicating and playing into her frame. She doesn't want that; she wants you to act like a man and pick her up and make out with her. She didn't feel like talking on your second date because you ALREADY talked so much, and it led absolutely NOWHERE.

She is NOT going to pull you aside and kiss you herself. She is NOT going to tell you what you should do; that is YOUR job as the man.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Mixedlinks

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Let's Get Real said:
She's unsure

Could be about you or from another guy she's dating. Don't get all insecure about it though. That won't help. It's only the second date.

"I said thanks and hope I didnt bore her"

I take it you're new here? This shows that you like her and that you're insecure. Don't ever ask it. It's not your job to entertain her. She's on the date too. Unless everytime she tried to do something you were a party killer.

What kind of happened in the last text is that she initiated and then you shot her down for no apparent reason.

I hope she didn't take the last text serious.

I would tell her to come out with me and then depending how she is acting I would tell her that we should just be friends if she feels too much pressure dating. And tell her that you're doing it for her. That's if she's acting distant.

How pretty is she by the way?
I think she is unsure, too. I am new here and I relinquished some power to her by asking if I bore her based on some of responses in the thread.

Most people find me funny and I am a good conversationalist but something seemed odd about her during the second date, right from the start of the date.

She is pretty but I've had relationships with prettier women in the past.
 

Let's Get Real

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If she seemed different right from the beginning then it's probably another guy.

I wouldn't let her get to know me like she said she wants to. I would take her on dates where talking is kept to the minimum. You want her to associate you with feelings. Take her on an adventure date.
 

Mixedlinks

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She still hasn't texted me. I take it she was offended. Anyhow, there are plenty more fishes in the sea.
 

Tiguere

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move on.............shell contact you once she goes through her rotation of boys. Go get new numbers and this time go for the kiss on the first date. Make her reject your advances...don't make it so easy on them
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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