"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Does Sex with the Same Girl Get Boring for you too?

steviecruiser

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I think part of the reason I never end up staying in a long term relationship is because the sex gets boring.... I mean I am very verile but it always seems to happen the same way... so I think the problem is with me. My current relationship started out with me wanting to do her hard all the time and while everything else is great I find myself not caring about having sex with her as much...

This has happend to me in every relationship I've been in and I used to always just next.

What should I do? Does this happen to anyone else?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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ChumpNoMore

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Yes, I think this is a universally common compromise in an LTR. But, consider yourself fortunate that she still wants to jump your bones - generally speaking, I have found that in my LTR's when the competition anxiety is removed, their desire soon wanes as well.
 

Tictac

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All true, But, when they feel 'safe' they can really let their hair down too. I was married a long time. And for a while, yes, it was boring. But once iI figured out how to make her feel safe, we learned how to explore bodies and minds in ways you cannot imagine. The most familiar woman can become someone almost totally different when you push the envelope. My 'mother of 3' could be driven wild.

Don't fear it. A long relationship has its good points. Work it.

Tictac
 

decades

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yeah that's why I'm Mormon.
 

horaholic

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If your both sexually healthy, there should always be something new to try. Me and my ex still have super great sex, after 4 and a half years (off and on obviously, we've been broken up for three and a half).
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DavenJuan

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is it definetely JUST the sex that gets boring that prevents you from moving on in LTR's??

'SEX" tends to get boring AFTER other things start to lead down the drain.

are you pursUing the same type of women? are you still "physically" attracted to them?

There may be many redflags before you start seeing it affecting the sex life...
 

Bible_Belt

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Tictac said:
All true, But, when they feel 'safe' they can really let their hair down too. I was married a long time. And for a while, yes, it was boring. But once iI figured out how to make her feel safe, we learned how to explore bodies and minds in ways you cannot imagine. The most familiar woman can become someone almost totally different when you push the envelope. My 'mother of 3' could be driven wild.

Don't fear it. A long relationship has its good points. Work it.

Tictac

same here, i agree.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Stevie,
Well of course anything pleasent done too often loses its shine,can't you remember your last new car?you would slip out for a cruise at the least excuse now that's Ho Hum.....As I recommended to you on another post,to help overcome ennui get something going on the side,paradoxically if you are banging someone else, for some strange reason svx with the original supplier gets better for both of you.I cannot explain,but this is more than just making fewer demands.
 
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