Does patience and having a "I dont care" attitude work in game?

[SteveBlaine]

I noticed when on a date with a girl if I rarely smile, act calm, slow and patient and don't seem to care about the outcome----I get laid more often.

On the other hand, when I am happy, talk a lot, tell jokes, act high energy---I dont get laid and she eventually disappears.

Why is it that patience, calmness, and acting like "you don't care" --- stimulate a woman's sexual desire for you?
Are women trying to prove their powers of seduction to you, is that why they jump a man since he doesn't care?

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Yes, woman re-act to men being a challenge and some what emotionless. The other frame and personality can come off as a try hard. I'm probably a mixture of both personalities.

She should be proving her powers of seduction! Make her put a smile on your face.

There's a million variables really, extro chicks could thrive off the 2 "personality" while the intro chick would be drained by the high energy. But again the same scenario could be the opposite type attracts.

 

[SteveBlaine]

You are brilliant. I like that word "frame." What exactly is a frame? Is it a certain mind-set?

Yes women are a mixed bag-- the girls that my calm, patient personality works on is intro girls. The extro girls like a little more energy. But not too much.
However, that is where the masculinity comes in. ALL WOMEN dig the calm, patient type.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women will typically respond better to a man that will take them or leave them... this comes off as patient and uncaring. But you have to let them know you are interested.

The reason this works is because she will naturally try harder to get you to like her... this creates attraction in women because they start to care about what you think of them which leads to respect.

You will never really have true success with women until they are the ones working for your attention. It's not really a female trait... it's a human trait. They naturally love something more that they have to work for... stuff just handed, like a beta male stooge, just glad to be there, is meaningless.

 

[SteveBlaine]

Interesting comments.....I discovered certain "behaviors" or "instincts" that have the odds in my favor that I will get laid more often than not.
These are not rules ...just behaviors that she respects.

Here they are.....
-Staying calm and cool ....when she busts on you. She will see if you have inner strength or emotional
-Not caring one way or other
-When your mind is on "something else" other than her
-When you completely banish her from your mind and you don't even acknowledge she exists anymore - that's when she texts or call you
-If she pisses you off and you get very quiet in her presence
-If she plays sexual games with you and you call her out
-When you have the upperhand
-When you act respectful and positive of her - operating from strength.
-When you end the date first
-When you slightly tease her
-When patient with her
-Calling her out when she tries to get one over on you

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I noticed when on a date with a girl if I rarely smile, act calm, slow and patient and don't seem to care about the outcome----I get laid more often.

On the other hand, when I am happy, talk a lot, tell jokes, act high energy---I dont get laid and she eventually disappears.

Why is it that patience, calmness, and acting like "you don't care" --- stimulate a woman's sexual desire for you?
Are women trying to prove their powers of seduction to you, is that why they jump a man since he doesn't care?

When your high energy and smiling, they get the attention out of you without having to work for it. They get some of your energy... With the otherway they will tend to work to want to see that smile or for you to react in a way. And I noticed the same thing about myself.

 

[AttackFormation]

Ime its best to do the opposite of most of the things youd grow up hearing. The frame youre talking about can only happen when you genuinely dont care much for the woman. The more you want to "make sure it works" with her the worse. All of what i just said is like text written by satan to women though so its not out there, you only learn that stuff after repeated experience.

The best way to make a woman who is interested in you feel romance is to not do or do the opposite of what being a "great guy" entails. Be uncaring, not caring. Be nonchalant, c0cky, arrogant and a little mean - not nice, humble and respectful. Dont show your feelings for her even if you like her. Dont take what she says or feels seriously. Dont make an effort to entertain her with high energy behavior, act like you dont care. If you want to be hot on her mind and have her respect forever, then do the opposite of what she says will make that happen: dont commit.

Go through your entire history with women through a checklist like that. I guarantee every man who does will see he got rejected more when he did what he "should", and laid more when he didnt.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Ime its best to do the opposite of most of the things youd grow up hearing. The frame youre talking about can only happen when you both 1) genuinely dont care much for the woman and 2) shes just one of your options who you can see when you feel like it. All of what i just said is like text written by satan to women though so its not out there, you only learn that stuff after repeated experience.

The best way to make a woman who is interested in you feel romance is to not do or do the opposite of what being a "great guy" entails. Be uncaring, not caring. Be nonchalant, ****y, arrogant and a little mean - not nice, humble and respectful. Dont show your feelings for her even if you like her. Dont take what she says or feels seriously. Dont make an effort to entertain her with high energy behavior. If you want to be hot on her mind and have her respect forever, then do the opposite of what she says will make that happen: dont commit.

Go through your entire history with women through a checklist like that. I guarantee every man who does will see he got rejected more when he did what he "should", and laid more when he didnt.

I hate to say it's true, but that's how it's worked for me. When I was more non-chalant I did "care", but I didn't show it even 1/2 as often. It was "enough" with me showing I care and im interested 100% of the time, it's been the opposite for me. They get that attention even with bad behavior or without trying to seduce me, it doesn't work. They need to earn it by seducing you.

 

[SteveBlaine]

*I have NEVER gotten laid when I was upbeat, happy, interested, fun or showed a woman a good time.

Instead its the opposite -- whenever I don't care, could care less about the outcome, acted uninterested and even a bit of an A-hole is when I got laid.
I remember years ago I was a limo driver and was picking up a stripper at an airport. I was in a bad mood that night. Anyway, I got pissed at her and said...."Are you getting in the limo or not?" She said "sorry yes." I was angry that she was wasting my time. The next time I saw her----a month later--- I ended up banging her in the hotel room.
I was shocked that she let me be nasty to her and she fvcked my brains out because of it. I didn't give two cents about that wh*re.

 

[wifehunter]

It works in life too!!!

1. Seems like everyone is in a hurry these days. Patience gives you time to reflect and contemplate important things, instead of rushing, which usually ends in disaster/embarrassment.

See: prudence

2. Not caring is good, because you are independent from the thoughts and opinions of others. It keeps you on track. Your mission is primary. Not letting people sway you, takes strength of character.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

It works in life too!!!

1. Seems like everyone is in a hurry these days. Patience gives you time to reflect and contemplate important things, instead of rushing, which usually ends in disaster/embarrassment.

See: prudence

2. Not caring is good, because you are independent from the thoughts and opinions of others. It keeps you on track. Your mission is primary. Not letting people sway you, takes strength of character.

Ah, but that might require something once known as self-control.

And then speaking your own mind, and avoiding group-think, might involve something like self-determination.

Classical qualities which sadly have been largely lost today.

 

[TheFixer14]

I've noticed that with anything in life I am more successful when I have a devil may care attitude. That level varies through different situations. But with women you have to show interest, but show that you can take it leave it. I rather fail being dark and mysterious than be a comedian and not get laid.

 

[Mike32ct]

Being too "fun" or what the OP referred to as "high energy" on a date is often a one-way ticket to friend-zone IMO. I know; it's counterintuitive. The PUAs teach guys to be playful, joking, party animals. That may work with the young crowd, but later on, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that "Fun isn't sexy."

Dating and seduction is more serious business. The guy pulling is more likely to be the confident, slightly more serious guy (obviously with the looks to pull it off) than the comedian or dancing monkey.

I don't even think guys should worry about being boring. You can be dry af, but if she really likes your looks, she can find you mysterious and still sexy.

I think introverts only are at a disadvantage with groups of people. One on one, I think an introvert could do well if his looks are right.

So while I absolutely agree that not caring is great, the point I'm making is don't feel that you have to entertain her.

But all means be positive, not a negative Nancy, but you really don't have to be "fun" to connect with people.

 

[Poon King]

No surprise to me that women typically prefer more comfort as they age.

Aging women have lower SMV.

They have to take what they can get. I think its more about options than comfort. In the end women seek resources in one form or another. But they are limited to what is available. No aging woman past her "sell buy" date is going to attract a sexy man with good genes and money.

This is one of the benefits of being male. As long as you have resources you stay in the game. Regardless of other factors. Which is one key reason why I made the claim that women are essentially prostitutes.

 

[Roober]

Yep!

That is the foundation of an "abundance" mindset. Women will think you don't care if you have them in your life or not, it is a hit to their ego, especially if they are attractive. Basically by letting them know that you are interested and a fun guy to hang out with, but you have no desire to bend to her every whim, you will retain control of the situation. She may throw a $hit test at you, and you will pass with flying colors without even realizing it. Now, at some point, if you are looking for an LTR, you need to start at least giving some signs that you care. You really don't need to do much though...

This applies to all relationships.. the one with the most power is the one who is willing to walk away

 

[Roober]

It's just push and pull.

Typically, on a first date (especially before any alcohol), I am aware of the relative investment levels.

Push/pull is the basis of good game.

It's why people will say "let her talk for most of the date". That is a push. You are getting her to invest.

That is why people say "don't text her for a few days after getting the number". Another push. Showing that you don't need her.

These are all just training wheels. When you understand why things work, you can use them more adroitly, without sticking to these silly rules.

I sh*t all over the "don't text for 2 days rule", for example. Yet, I might still suggest it for playing an easy and safe game to someone stupid like my cousin.

Curious what you mean here? I don't even text at all after a date until she texts... is that what your talking about?

 

[wifehunter]

Ah, but that might require something once known as self-control.

And then speaking your own mind, and avoiding group-think, might involve something like self-determination.

Classical qualities which sadly have been largely lost today.

Nice!

Yes, the core IS self-control!

Most people have NO self-control... So you stand out even more. It's like shining a light in a dark tunnel.

 

[wifehunter]

Yep!

That is the foundation of an "abundance" mindset. Women will think you don't care if you have them in your life or not, it is a hit to their ego, especially if they are attractive. Basically by letting them know that you are interested and a fun guy to hang out with, but you have no desire to bend to her every whim, you will retain control of the situation. She may throw a $hit test at you, and you will pass with flying colors without even realizing it. Now, at some point, if you are looking for an LTR, you need to start at least giving some signs that you care. You really don't need to do much though...

This applies to all relationships.. the one with the most power is the one who is willing to walk away

Minimal effort is key!

 

[btownbuck2012]

I noticed when on a date with a girl if I rarely smile, act calm, slow and patient and don't seem to care about the outcome----I get laid more often.

On the other hand, when I am happy, talk a lot, tell jokes, act high energy---I dont get laid and she eventually disappears.

Why is it that patience, calmness, and acting like "you don't care" --- stimulate a woman's sexual desire for you?
Are women trying to prove their powers of seduction to you, is that why they jump a man since he doesn't care?

I actually find I have more success with what I've bolded up top BUT that's because I've worked hard to cultivate that aspect of my personality over the years so I think it's just what works for me.

I've found though that the patience and "I don't care" attitude works best after you've already hooked them.