Does "NO CONTACT" help when you're the person who screwed it up?

[swingswing27]

I'm just curious...

Lets say, a girl dumped you because you were not treating her right. Does no contact help you win her back?

 

[RickTheToad]

Only if she wants to get back to you bad enough. Depends on how long the relationship was. If it was a few months, doubt it. Chances are, she's already back on her phone chatting up with another dude. Ladies are not loyal to their men, they are loyal to their options.

 

[backseatjuan]

Wrong mindset, but it’s ok. If a girl dumped you that means her IL had dropped enough to dump you. NC might raise her IL enough for her to contact you _if_ there was emotional attachment or some other form of attachment- for example if you provided her with money and she didn’t have to work. Your mindset is wrong in that you want her still. She esentially left you to fck with other dudeS- plural. NC because you busy chasing other tail that’s the correct approach.

 

[Focal core]

I'm just curious...

Lets say, a girl dumped you because you were not treating her right. Does no contact help you win her back?

Don't wasted time trying to get back on a girl good graces, if she likes you enought even you're a drug addicts she'll be on hooks with you, truth is she doesn't that much. Go NC. Focus on your goals.

 

[sazc]

I'm just curious...

Lets say, a girl dumped you because you were not treating her right. Does no contact help you win her back?

Im confused....If a girl dumps you why wouldn't you go no contact and only entertain her efforts at reaching out?

If YOU were not treating her right, and you know it, send a simple apology, then go straight into Radio Silence. Never initiate contact again, but respond if she reaches out. Keep your response simple and short and see where it goes.

Unless you agree you were not treating her right?

What I would send is something along the lines of "you know, Tina, I can see why you felt that way and I apologize for giving you that feeling" and leave it at that. Something like that should be enough to elicit contact from her to talk about it.

If you think you were treating her right, or made the choice to not treat her right on purpose, then just let her go.

 

[Focal core]

this, but you better be on guard because a very common breakup tactic for a woman is to are there bait you into doing something wrong or when you do something wrong blown out of proportion as an excuse to leave. In that situation she is really going to have you by the balls and torture you for a good while until you wise up. I wouldn't even allow her to reinitiate contact after a week.

I'll never forget I was really busy at work and I said something rude to my girlfriend and she broke up with me on a Wednesday. Thursday night Football was the next night. We got back together on Saturday. come to find out she had just use that opportunity to break up with me so she could go to the Thursday night game with another guy lol. These are the sorts of things you can only learn through experience, and I'm glad for that experience because I saw through the BS of numerous women after that much more clearly.

Happens too many times

 

[Focal core]

Imagine how absolutely dead wrong the women and some of the more naive posters here would be had I come on here that Wednesday night and posted about it...

Lol I could Imagine u would cry on the floor.. Lol.. Btw if the girl really adore you she wouldn't even dare to make you uncomfortable, and far from triggering your anger... Yes its a bait too many times guys rolls on The floor for himself to blame.. Yet this is an early childhood programming where you try to satisfied your parents to get some love unrequited, I myself learn this not so long time ago and resolve this matter right from the roots core.she simply re-awaken it.

 

[lamath]

Im doubting the treating her badly thing.


Make sure to stay in your frame, then you can judge accurately your actions.

If something she said or have done makes you thing you treated her badly then you are in her frame.
Its all about perspective dont let someone else push theirs on yours.

I think your perspective/value/frame can be changed with experience but there is a fine line between changing your frame and entering some else.

 

[Focal core]

yes good point. We men in particular are problem solvers so if we think we broke up due to some fixable problem we want to fix it. This is what some of the posters here don't understand, men have no problem blaming themselves for the end of a relationship because
Our natural bias is toward some sort of problem that is fixable and nothing is more fixable than something we caused!


Actually I think I did post about it on here under a different account, and the advice was on point. it was a different site than there were a lot less man shamers here(male and female).

Yes, it's true when you try to fix something (other than make them grow) you are already lost, right now when I'm looking for a partner I'm looking for feelings, not chemistry, lots of folks has no problem faking on chemistry,u cant fake on feelings and to whole lots of dude and gals, Love is an abstract concept, it's associated with pain apprently real closeness making you feel vulnerable and {love} is experienced as dramatic, painful emotions that were confused with affection for an unresponsive, emotionally unavailable parent throughout childhood.

Real love are nourishing, and feels reciprocal.