"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Does My Personal Trainer Know What He's Doing?

spinaroonie

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Just returned from a session with a personal trainer. He *****ed at me for not executing a deadlift properly.

Basically here was the routine -

Squats (10 reps)
Pushing a "sled" of two plates 25 metres
Leg curls
x2
Deadlifts (10 reps) at my body weight.

No rest in between any of the exercises.

I struggled with the deadlift today. I was arching my back. Apparently, my hamstrings were too tight. Normally I'm able to do them. He accused me of not stretching out my hamstrings over the weekend, although I did, and threatened to end the session early. I last performed deadlifts Thursday. However, I think I struggled because

1) not enough days to rest and heal hamstrings from Thursday - all the stretching in the world wouldn't have helped
2) exhaustion from all the previous exercises - my heart was racing
3) leg muscles tired from leg curls done immediately before the deadlift

I don't want to get into an argument with a guy who's more knowledgeable than me, but am I in the wrong here?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Bryce556

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im a PT, this guy dosent sound so great to me, thats not how i would treat my clients. you need more rest between exercises, the muscles do tend to tighten up even with stretching. deadlifts is a big mover and requires alot of secondary satblizer muscles and should be done before somthing like leg curls on a machine that requires less balance and work. you cant bulid or streanthen more before a muscle is fully recovered, sometime people take longer or if your stressed or busy or poor eating it takes longer to heal.

differnt places u need to have differnt levels of certification to be a PT, some are just PT's cuz they have been in a gym forever. Im almost done a bachlors degree in human kinetics, so alot of my programs are science based.
 

CarlitosWay

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The PT got this guy off his ass, skwatting and pushing sleds and dead lifting his bodyweight for reps. In my book he is already ahead of most idiotic trainers.

This seems like conditioning though, for like MMA or some other intense sport. Is this your goal OP? Discuss your goals with your personal traiiner.
 

Jitterbug

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All assistance exercises, like leg curls (although that's a pretty gay one), should be done AFTER deadlift and never before it.

Having said that, hammies should have well recovered between Thursday and Tuesday. If not, it means you're either very new to exercising, or you haven't rested & eaten enough. Stretching is the least of your problem.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Fuglydude

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Jitterbug said:
All assistance exercises, like leg curls (although that's a pretty gay one), should be done AFTER deadlift and never before it.

Having said that, hammies should have well recovered between Thursday and Tuesday. If not, it means you're either very new to exercising, or you haven't rested & eaten enough. Stretching is the least of your problem.
This is only true depending on the trainee's goals... on my current hypertrophy program I am doing dips at the very very end of my chest/tricep day. I've basically gone from hammering out 6-8 reps w/ 115 lbs around my waist on dips to struggling to get 3 x 8-10 for just my bodyweight! Of course I am lifting more slowly and in a controlled fashion, but man its still tough and humbling to say the least! I asked my trainer and he basically said he's doing this to pre-exhaust my triceps. He knows about my power/explosive lifting tendencies, so I think this was his attempt to neutralize my natural tendencies for more controlled/slow lifting as is required for hypertrophy. All in all, it sucks!

My program was made for me by an IFBB pro... This guy's been competing for >20 years so I think he knows what he's doing.

Assistance work should be done after big lifts for functional strength training, but I think exercise sequence is related to the trainee's goals and level of conditioning/strength.
 

Jitterbug

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I mean the deadlift and its assistant exercises specifically, Fugly. Bench is another story. I also do dips with weights at the end of a session that includes overhead pressing and DB bench press.

You can press heavy many times a week. Jim Williams (a powerlifting legend) used to BP heavy 6 times a week in prison for his 700lbs (or was it 680, around that) raw bench record. You can also do the same with squat - this is how weightlifters train. I've never heard of anyone deadlifting heavy more than once a week. That includes powerlifters, bodybuilders and weightlifters.

The deadlift is the most brutal on the body, which is why exhausting the primary muscles, like the hammies with leg curls, prior to deadlift is a dumb idea. It puts you at risk of injuries - nothing to do with hypertrophy vs strength.

One of the reasons why the OP's back was rounded is that his hammies - which should help with breaking the weight off the ground in a deadlift - were already exhausted, hence his body shifted to using the back to get the weight off the ground. That's just bad, any way you look at it.
 

CarlitosWay

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Jitterbug said:
I mean the deadlift and its assistant exercises specifically, Fugly. Bench is another story. I also do dips with weights at the end of a session that includes overhead pressing and DB bench press.

You can press heavy many times a week. Jim Williams (a powerlifting legend) used to BP heavy 6 times a week in prison for his 700lbs (or was it 680, around that) raw bench record. You can also do the same with squat - this is how weightlifters train. I've never heard of anyone deadlifting heavy more than once a week. That includes powerlifters, bodybuilders and weightlifters.

The deadlift is the most brutal on the body, which is why exhausting the primary muscles, like the hammies with leg curls, prior to deadlift is a dumb idea. It puts you at risk of injuries - nothing to do with hypertrophy vs strength.

One of the reasons why the OP's back was rounded is that his hammies - which should help with breaking the weight off the ground in a deadlift - were already exhausted, hence his body shifted to using the back to get the weight off the ground. That's just bad, any way you look at it.
Truth. It is kind like doing some shoulder isolation work before bench pressing. The main movement will suffer.
 

Fuglydude

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Jitterbug said:
I mean the deadlift and its assistant exercises specifically, Fugly. Bench is another story. I also do dips with weights at the end of a session that includes overhead pressing and DB bench press.

You can press heavy many times a week. Jim Williams (a powerlifting legend) used to BP heavy 6 times a week in prison for his 700lbs (or was it 680, around that) raw bench record. You can also do the same with squat - this is how weightlifters train. I've never heard of anyone deadlifting heavy more than once a week. That includes powerlifters, bodybuilders and weightlifters.

The deadlift is the most brutal on the body, which is why exhausting the primary muscles, like the hammies with leg curls, prior to deadlift is a dumb idea. It puts you at risk of injuries - nothing to do with hypertrophy vs strength.

One of the reasons why the OP's back was rounded is that his hammies - which should help with breaking the weight off the ground in a deadlift - were already exhausted, hence his body shifted to using the back to get the weight off the ground. That's just bad, any way you look at it.
Ah gotcha... I'll do stretches prior to my heavy deadlifts, and perhaps a set of weighted dips to decompress my vertebrae, but as you said, save the important muscles for the actual heavy pull for sure! Didn't realize you were specifically talking about deads.
 

Colossus

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If I were a trainer I wouldnt make a guy do deadlifts at the end of a circuit like that. Deadlifts are not a conditioning exercise and should never be treated as such.

Deadlifts will burn you out faster than any other lift. It takes a tremendous amount of CNS "spark" to move a heavy dead weight off the floor. With the squat and bench you get the stretch reflex going from eccentric to concentric. It's also an extremely mental lift---you have to have your mind "up" to pull well. If you're just doing reps with light weights, whatever. But heavier deadlifting needs to be treated with solidarity, i.e. it get's it's own day.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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