Does it build attraction to not text a girl as much in the early stages?

[jackhamma]

Hey guys! Really could use some solid guidance. Been going back/forth in my head about this.

Halloween met this girl (19 years old, I am 28) We clicked, had a fun night together, fooled around, exchanged numbers.

Next day called her (because we spoke about how we like calling rather then texting) and we set up a date Thursday night to get together. Later that night we got into a small back/forth text convo and she was showing very high IL based on her responses. Talking to me about showing her family friends the photo of my costume etc. lots of laughing and flirty jokes, ending on an up beat note.

Monday I didn't say anything. Hit her up today (tuesday) and had a very short and sweet txt convo about this food I was eating. We had a few good laughs and I ended where she responded with "hahahah oh yeah!"

I tend to overthink soooo much about this but how often in the very early stages should I reach out to talk with her? What gets the girl to want to start thinking hmm what is he up to right now? Instead of me acting like the chick and doing all the reaching out.


I tend to naturally think that if I don't stay fresh in her mind, I lose. lol silly I know!

Thanks guys!

 

[NSX-R]

Stop thinking about it. Let things flow natural.

 

[Fitters]

The rule is

If you KNOW how to text , when to text & what to text it can boost attraction.

If you DON'T KNOW how to text , it will kill attraction.

Know yourself and play that part.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Don't text unless you are setting up a date. Respond to her texts playfully and have small convos here and there but don't make a habit of texting her for anything other than setting the date.

Remember, texting is written. When you say something stupid she can look at it over and over again in the future. It's not like that on the phone or in person, where we tend to look at the past through rose-colored glasses. With texts she will always have that little reminder...

 

[dustmuffin]

Don't text much....call

Don't text unless you are setting up a date. Respond to her texts playfully and have small convos here and there but don't make a habit of texting her for anything other than setting the date.

Remember, texting is written. When you say something stupid she can look at it over and over again in the future. It's not like that on the phone or in person, where we tend to look at the past through rose-colored glasses. With texts she will always have that little reminder...

That is a very good point.

 

[ubercat]

Had a cutevnet girl I got hot and heavy with on the first date tell me that she really liked how I didn't do ping pong texting like the other guys. Don't worry I managed to screw it up on the next date but until then I d been golden.

 

[bigneil]

According to Robert Greene "Early in the seduction, you must be omnipresent. Everything must remind them of you. Disappear too early and you are not missed but merely forgotten." (paraphrased).

 

[Building_and_Loan]

If you're unsure, just err on the side of caution and text her as infrequently as possible. Never initiate the conversation, only reply to her but delay some responses. Also try to avoid "overgaming" by waiting a whole day to reply back to her. She'll just think you aren't interested.

I have definitely found that texting kills attraction and her interest level when first getting to know someone.

If you're texting all the time, why would she want to see you in order to talk to you?

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Scarcity creates value. Conversely, what is always available is often disdained.

Irrespective of the above, we tend to be attracted to what we "need." Read the subject. Give her what she needs intermittently, tempered by unrelated "disappearances."

 

[NSX-R]

Don't text much....call
.

I find that way the most proper one. Texting is the world of women, they doing it every day and they are very good at it. I'm not saying men are not good at it either but women have the advantage there. Plus you know of the tone of her voice if she bullsh@ts you. It's a win win.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Don't listen to anyone who tells you to abandon texting. If you're young, knowing how to text properly is an important tool to have.

Texting is an extensive thing, so I'll just highlight the important notes.

~ 2-3:1 Ratio: This simply means she initiates most of the time. About 2-3 times to your 1. Keep in mind the 1. It's okay to initiate here r there, it shows your interest.

~ Emojis & lols: Rarely use them, don't be that guy that puts "lol" after everyone single fūcking thing he texts. Only use the wink emoji and save that for sexual inneudo.

~ Short & to the point: Keep your messages short, flirty, ****y and to the point. Throw in a little teasing to if you want. No extensive conversations, convos about interests or about what you want for the future. If she tries to start one, take that to your advantage and say "Hard to say much through text, I'll tell you more when I see you."

~ End Convos on high notes: If you guys are having a really fun & flirty convo, and towards the end you say something clever and she's amused but ran out of things to say and responds with something along the lines of "haha, yeah." Then that's it, the convo has ended. Don't be the guy who texts a plate "wyd?" Those that group of characters should never be touched in that order by your fingers when texting a plate.


If you go at least somewhat among the lines of those rules, your texting game will not hurt you. It might even help.

 

[Jetleg]

I agree with SmooveMooves.

My personal preference is to keep texting to minimum. why? because i'm geniely busy. i wll start a conversation from time to time, but rarely.
The moment i notice that she is "online" or have seen my message for more than 20 - 30 min and did not reply, i go NC at all for a day or two( it means she doesnt give a ****) - an intrested girl will answer texts immediately as she have seen them - it works everytime.

Now lets talk about time - texts are more time consuming, and are permanent, she can always not reply, or be a cold b1tch or change the subject when you flirt or whatever. when you're talking over the phone there are some emotions involved, and she is 100% concentrated in you, so focus on that.

 

[Eph]

As a guy who has, time and time again, tried to make texting work, I can tell you this: text as least as possible. Call (as weird as it feels as a guy who has grown up in the age of texting) as much as possible. Calling is just better. Being able to hear each other leaves no room for interpretation, calling is quicker than waiting for her to text back, the benefits just don't stop. The only time you should text is when you're setting up a date and calling her just isn't an option or you need to get a hold of her for something extremely simply. This usually means asking a quick, basic, often times yes or no question. Don't text her trying to build comfort, rapport or attraction. You just can't do that over text. I'm not saying if she texts you one day wanting to have a conversation, you shouldn't text her back, but remember to keep it short and end on a high note. Just disappear. The next time she texts you, don't even mention disappearing on her. If she brings it up, just say you were busy at the time and move on.

 

[Maximus Rex]

fooled around,

Define "fooled around."

Next day called her (because we spoke about how we like calling rather then texting) and we set up a date Thursday night to get together. Later that night we got into a small back/forth text convo and she was showing very high IL based on her responses. Talking to me about showing her family friends the photo of my costume etc. lots of laughing and flirty jokes, ending on an up beat note.

Monday I didn't say anything. Hit her up today (tuesday) and had a very short and sweet txt convo about this food I was eating. We had a few good laughs and I ended where she responded with "hahahah oh yeah!"

Just keep in mind these profound thoughts from our banned friend PlayHer Man.

"If you're not planning to f*ck a woman soon.. why are to talking to her? Only talk to her when you are making moves."

In other words, (and ole Rex can tell you this from personal experience,) don't engage in idle chit chat with women. The goal of any conversation should be setting up a time in the immediate future as to when you're going to see her again.

 

[jackhamma]

Don't listen to anyone who tells you to abandon texting. If you're young, knowing how to text properly is an important tool to have.

Texting is an extensive thing, so I'll just highlight the important notes.

~ 2-3:1 Ratio: This simply means she initiates most of the time. About 2-3 times to your 1. Keep in mind the 1. It's okay to initiate here r there, it shows your interest.

~ Emojis & lols: Rarely use them, don't be that guy that puts "lol" after everyone single fūcking thing he texts. Only use the wink emoji and save that for sexual inneudo.

~ Short & to the point: Keep your messages short, flirty, ****y and to the point. Throw in a little teasing to if you want. No extensive conversations, convos about interests or about what you want for the future. If she tries to start one, take that to your advantage and say "Hard to say much through text, I'll tell you more when I see you."

~ End Convos on high notes: If you guys are having a really fun & flirty convo, and towards the end you say something clever and she's amused but ran out of things to say and responds with something along the lines of "haha, yeah." Then that's it, the convo has ended. Don't be the guy who texts a plate "wyd?" Those that group of characters should never be touched in that order by your fingers when texting a plate.


If you go at least somewhat among the lines of those rules, your texting game will not hurt you. It might even help.

I appreciate all of you responding to my thread. So far the above post is what I have been doing. Met her Saturday we fooled around as in made out, fingered her, sucked on her titz all through out the night in my truck. Ended up driving her and her girlfriends home (on the way home to my pad) She is 19 I am 28. So I thought to myself maybe I should play the game differently..

After reading all the posts I am starting to realize OVER texting is what I always do. It shows you are to "thirsty." Especially as an older guy I need to show hey I am busy, got a lot going for me, I will fit you in when I can. Not the other way around. Agree?

I like leaving on a high note. She laughs at a funny convo "hahaha oh yeah!" I use to ALWAYS be the guy who would continue the convo. this time around I left the convo. Exit stage left.

I am suppose to be seeing her tomorrow. Have not established a time yet so I will call tonight and nail down a time to get together. If I get any BS excuse I am simply going to say "cool maybe another time." and boom move on.

Thoughts/opinions?

 

[Tenacity]

I text, call, email, social media inbox, the whole nine yards. Yes, I will have a girl's number already and still communicate with her on social media lol.

It just comes down to your personal preference and style my friend, but eventually you are going to have to make a habit to do some type of actual "real life" conversation through the telephone as in terms of communication, speaking with someone face-to-face is number one and through the telephone is number two in terms of effectiveness.

But I text A LOT. It all comes down to if the girl likes you or not. If the girl likes you, you can get away with a lot of stuff that the Manosphere says are no-nos.

When your looks, personality and finances are RIGHT, there's really no rules other than your own personal preferences.

 

[gravityeyelids]

If you KNOW how to text , when to text & what to text it can boost attraction.

If you DON'T KNOW how to text , it will kill attraction.

THIS. So hard. If you are EVER in doubt, either don't text, wait much longer than you should (aka find things to occupy you), or text less than she does. IF YOU AREN'T GOOD AT TEXT GAME, then almost everything you send will be misconstrued,miss the mark, or kill attraction.

You are never as smooth as you think via text. Even as someone who is generally very good at text game and comfortable with it, i still default to less texting, and end up getting myself in more trouble the more I text.

Girls will nearly ALWAYS call you out on not texting a lot, saying things like
"you're not good at texting" or "you're bad at responding". Don't fall for it, this is a sign of attraction. It's like when a girl says "you're such an azzhole" and then 20 minutes later your d!ck is inside her. We pay attention to ACTIONS here, NOT words. Is she texting you more, the less you text....trying to get your attention? Good! Simply explain that you hate being on your phone all the time and that you hate texting, it's nothing personal. The idea is that you can't let it seem like you're doing it on purpose. You simply have better things to do, you regard texting as an inferior form of interpersonal communication and texting back doesn't rank high on your priorities in life.

However, even if she knows you;re gaming, it still remains EFFECTIVE. Think of how you feel when you're digging on a girl and she hasn't texted you back in hours. Inside you start to get a little anxiety even if you KNOW she's just playing games and she's actually into you. SAME THING for girls. It will always get the hamster wheel spinning. Don't hesitate to wait until the next day to text back. When it's a girl you just met, you can go two or three days before reponding and it's okay. If it's a girl you're sleeping with frequently, or dating then have a little courtesy and don't wait three days to respond to something lol.

my Rules (if you aren't great at text game yet, also in general):
1) Take at least as long to respond as she did to text you (at least twice is even better)
2) Don't text more than twice in a row.
3) 1:2 Ratio rule: send half as many texts as she texts you and type half as many words.
4) Refrain for using texting for any other reason than setting up meetups and logistics, with the other ones being made up of light teasing or giving her sh!t and flirting.

Plus, keep in mind that texting too much is exactly like talking too much to a girl: in general it gets you in trouble. You reveal too much to her, kill a lot of the mystery and attraction, AND she has more dirt to throw at you. Especially for girls that sh!t test CONSTANTLY... the more you say, the more likely she is to try to fvcking crossexamine you and say things like "well, but don't you remember you said this..." and try to trap you. Except in the case of texting she has a potentially everlasting record of it, PLUS she probably shows her friends your text convos regularly.

 

[logicallefty]

There have been some great responses to this thread. I've learned a lot from it, & I consider myself a veteran of text game.

.

I'm right there with you, and I am a pretty big text person. I text a lot and answer calls from chicks when they call me or call them back. But rarely, rarely do I ever call a chick first.. There are for sure a lot of things in this thread to give consideration to, no matter if you are a big texter or not. Great stuff!

 

[jackhamma]

Seriously thank you ALL for such solid responses. I realized the 2:1 slow text game is the way to go. Especially realized I try WAY TO HARD to impress a new girl over texting, thinking every text I send has to be PERFECT and that if I don't respond she will forget about me. The complete opposite!!

Update: So I was suppose to see that girl tonight and last night I get this paragraph basically saying Girl: "Hey I don't know about tomorrow I am really trying to focus on me and school and I don't want to lead you on and the age thing sorta weirds me out." My Response: "Not looking for anything either, just wanted to treat you to a good time, nothing serious. Age ain't nothing but a number at the end of the day and it didn't make a difference the other night lol." (when I was sucking and fingering her sh!t lol.)

1 hour later she liked a few of my instagram photos but never responded lol. Today she never reached out.

Thoughts/Opinions?

 

[icantgetlaid]

Seriously thank you ALL for such solid responses. I realized the 2:1 slow text game is the way to go. Especially realized I try WAY TO HARD to impress a new girl over texting, thinking every text I send has to be PERFECT and that if I don't respond she will forget about me. The complete opposite!!

Update: So I was suppose to see that girl tonight and last night I get this paragraph basically saying Girl: "Hey I don't know about tomorrow I am really trying to focus on me and school and I don't want to lead you on and the age thing sorta weirds me out." My Response: "Not looking for anything either, just wanted to treat you to a good time, nothing serious. Age ain't nothing but a number at the end of the day and it didn't make a difference the other night lol." (when I was sucking and fingering her sh!t lol.)

1 hour later she liked a few of my instagram photos but never responded lol. Today she never reached out.

Thoughts/Opinions?

Girls dont respond to logic only emotion ...

You should have acted like you didn't care .. e.g. "alright cool - another time then ..." trying to convince her on why going out with you is a good idea is needy/afc behavior ..