"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Does having a car matter to a POF girl?

sylvester the cat

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So, I've got the goods in the looks and personality department.

Thing is, I don't have a car. I live in London which is largely dependent on public transport.

I arranged a meet with this HB7-8 for tomorrow but it's like a bit of a trek for me by train. It would be a lot more straightforward with a set of wheels but alas I don't have one at the moment. I can just about afford the rent in London.

My friend has a Range Rover Sport and it impresses me when I see a nice car so how do you think chicks feel when a guy has to rely on public transport?

I suppose if it is deal-breaker then she isn't worth the time but what do you guys think?
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sylvester the cat

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SoSuave666 said:
Do you? Why are you on POF then?
Cos I lack confidence. in the dating game anyway. i'm confident enough to stand in front of a bunch of strangers and perform a comedy routine but to approach a woman i still find difficult. once i get to know them i'm fine but it's that initial approach.
 

Alvafe

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really dating sites really work? I mean you have like 1 woman for each what 10 guys?, also do cars matters? from what I saw close here most of time it do.

but if what you said about you true then it wouldn't matter
 

Three

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Going back to OP's question: I would say if you're in a city where most people use public transportation to get around, it probably isn't a big deal not to have a car. If you're in a place where everyone else has a car to get around, then it would definitely leave a poor impression unless you had a good excuse (just moved from big city, etc.). Borrowing one or renting one is an option, of course, but that would be creating a fake persona.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Naughty Ninja

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sylvester the cat said:
Cos I lack confidence. in the dating game anyway. i'm confident enough to stand in front of a bunch of strangers and perform a comedy routine but to approach a woman i still find difficult. once i get to know them i'm fine but it's that initial approach.

Meeting chicks is easy. Hell POF chicks are easy to meet.

You just have to NOT go after every chick no matter how hot with the "I need her to like me and want to date me or hope to get a date out of her" mentality.

You have to approach them in real life and just BS and force yourself to think they aren't attractive and aren't looking to date them so it lessens your anxiety.

Think of them as a person first. Just make eye contact, smile and wave while passing by. Then say hello to different people. Then as you get used to doing that with so many different chicks try talking to them as people and not objects you need to date or to make yourself "confident" by living through a fantasy of you and them in your head.

Once you get comfortable and don't slip back into "needing" them it's easier to just meet and talk to them, see where they're at, then see signs of interest in you and ask for their number while pulling out your phone effortlessly like you do if you met some new dude you became friends with. (You do it like it's nothing because you aren't going to date a dude) Like: "Hey let me get your number and we'll hang out sometime". It becomes as easy as new friends or aquaintences exchanging numbers at that point.
 

sylvester the cat

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I don't have a problem interacting with women if i'm not attracted to them but for some reason when i am attracted to them...i clam up.unless i've been drinking and i really dont want to be going down that road again.

i'm going to blow this date off tomorrow because i can't be bothered spending 3 hours on a round trip just for some date. there's plenty more fish as they say...;-)
 

Harry Wilmington

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In answer to your question, I've dated and banged plenty of girls off POF and OK Cupid with no problem, and i have no car to speak of. Girls will pretty much accept your current situation as long as you are upfront about it and don't treat it like a big deal. My POF file stated that I didn't have a car, so if they hit me up they already knew the situation, which meant it wasn't a problem for them.
 

Naughty Ninja

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sylvester the cat said:
I don't have a problem interacting with women if i'm not attracted to them but for some reason when i am attracted to them...i clam up.unless i've been drinking and i really dont want to be going down that road again.

i'm going to blow this date off tomorrow because i can't be bothered spending 3 hours on a round trip just for some date. there's plenty more fish as they say...;-)

Like I said. You then need to treat women you are attracted to in the same way as everyone you meet. Like people. Try to force yourself to think they are "unattractive" and talk to them like a casual conversation with anyone you meet.
 

Aristippus

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Sylvester,

Funny you mentioned London. I went there with a friend 2 years ago. We went to some pubs there. A woman approached him and would have probably gone home with him right then, but he decided not to bring her to the hotel. They exchanged e-mail addresses and they kept in touch by e-mail. We would make occasional stops at internet cafes, maybe once every 3 or 4 days for 15 or 20 minutes.

She kept in touch with him while we were in Italy too and even drove to the airport in London (we flew from Rome to London) to see us off before we left for home. Oh, and we didn't have a car..... He could have probably sport-f**ked the he!! out of her but had just met someone back home a month before and his heart wasn't into the idea. He basically decided to just be friends with this woman in London and when he came back home, the new relationship turned serious pretty quickly. But yeah, it doesn't matter whether or not you have a car.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Pardner

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some girls will be fine with it and some won't and will look down on you if you don't.
 
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