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Does dating/sleeping with lower SMV women lower your own?

Barrister

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I am again starting my plate rotation from scratch and I have had some trouble getting it off the ground the last couple of months after leaving my LTR. I have some options but I don't really find them all that attractive (both are off of OLD). One I would say is probably a HB 6 and the other is about a HB 6.5. I know for some sex is sex but I generally have only slept with HB 7+ throughout my life (my kill count is probably significantly lower than a lot of people due to this -- I can't just fu*k anything).

Somewhat related to that -- do the other DJs think being seen with these lower SMV women actually makes other women view you as having lower SMV yourself if you are seen out and about with them? Or do women not really care? I feel like if you're constantly seen with lower SMV women it will begin to lower your own in the eyes of those who see you out with them.
 

Bandolero

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They care. Believe me.
And not "constantly". If they seen you once with a 5 or 6 then they won't let you bang . If her self esteem is right at the moment . If she is going through something then you have a chance again. If she's feeling herself then forget it. Works both ways tho.
Maybe you are lacking yourself something that's why you are degrading yourself?
 

samspade

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This is a great question. Unless you're scraping the bottom of the barrel, I think it's more likely that her hamster will spin over it. A girl will judge another girl's looks but then she'll wonder what that chick has that she doesn't (money, better in bed, etc.). But, rely on your boner so you're not just going through the motions or trying to get social proof for its own sake.
 

Barrister

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This is a great question. Unless you're scraping the bottom of the barrel, I think it's more likely that her hamster will spin over it. A girl will judge another girl's looks but then she'll wonder what that chick has that she doesn't (money, better in bed, etc.). But, rely on your boner so you're not just going through the motions or trying to get social proof for its own sake.
I would tend to agree. And these girls aren't hideous or anything -- but I generally do much better but since I just moved my options are fairly limited right at the moment until I can expand my social circle.
 

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Kotaix

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Objectively speaking, yes. Less attractive women DO lower your SMV to a degree. But life isn't that simple, and it's only one factor in a complex equation.

Seen from another perspective, having some plates (regardless of their attractiveness) is far better for a man's mental health and his ability to pick up other women than being a picky incel who is holding out for the hotties . This is abundance vs scarcity. You cannot embody the IDGAF attitude that is necessary to attract and bang the hotties if your ego is clamoring for validation.

Women who are actually attracted to you instead of just using you for attention and validation will become MORE attracted to you if you have other options because of the dread that comes with the fact that they might lose you to someone else. Women would rather share an alpha than have their own beta.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Objectively speaking, yes. Less attractive women DO lower your SMV to a degree. But life isn't that simple, and it's only one factor in a complex equation.

Seen from another perspective, having some plates (regardless of their attractiveness) is far better for a man's mental health and his ability to pick up other women than being a picky incel who is holding out for the hotties . This is abundance vs scarcity. You cannot embody the IDGAF attitude that is necessary to attract and bang the hotties if your ego is clamoring for validation.

Women who are actually attracted to you instead of just using you for attention and validation will become MORE attracted to you if you have other options because of the dread that comes with the fact that they might lose you to someone else. Women would rather share an alpha than have their own beta.
.women don't even have to know you're with another. Your attractiveness is increased by interacting and being with women who find you desirable.
 

derby1

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a few friends i know have tagged themselves in relationships with 4's.

it hasnt stopped 7s from crawling all over their social media when hes single again
 

HaleyBaron

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It can only help you. A friend of mines was kissing on a girl far less attractive than his side piece. When she caught him with her, she got extremely upset. Then I later found out it was mostly because she couldn't believe he would make out with someone who is not that good looking compared to her. They both were different ethnicities, so I can understand why my friend did it. Women will make their own conclusions most of the time, which only favors you.
 

17 shots

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No... women do the same thing all the time, and it doesn't lower theirs at all. I know women that will tell you straight up that they prefer guys that are less attractive then they are
 

sangheilios

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@Barrister

In my opinion, in a situation like this there is a difference between women that are for relationship/dating material and those that are just ONS, FWBs, etc.

I do know that many men will see less attractive women that aren't really there league as "slump busters" when they've been out of the game for a while. I don't have to get into the detailed dynamics of this, but I think that this can be of great value to men. Now, I think how low so men are willing to go is going to be relatively subjective to each individual. A lot of guys would feel grossed out by the idea of being with a landwhale or very unattractive woman, I'm one of them. However, if a man has been on a long dry spell and is holding out for some 8 or 9 it may be in his best interest to have a fling with a more average girl that is open and available. I think a good way to gauge this is the boner test. If you have to watch porn or use your imagination in order to get an erection when you are with these women I'd say that is a bad sign, I'm just going to assume this is for a healthy male who isn't drunk or high on drugs. In my opinion, I don't really think there is any reason for a man to dumpster dive or go well below his normal standards or his personal league, as there are a lot of women that are still presentable lol.

Now, when it comes to actual dating/relationship material I think this can be a bit tricky. It should be normal for a man to want to date women he is attracted to and I think forcing yourself to date someone you aren't into is just not in your best interest nor that of the female party. Something that I've witnessed is when a man, who isn't very confident and not very sure of where he actually stands, settles for something that is the first to come along and is in reality below him. I can think of a few instances where I knew of men who were in relationships like this and that the woman was controlling of them, almost as if to make them feel lesser because they deep down knew those men could go better. I feel like it's in everyone's best interest to go with people who are around your league, and I also feel that this is something that people are intuitively aware of, which I'll elaborate on below.

For instance, a couple years back I was having a string of bad luck with very attractive women that I was into. I was getting first dates and numbers but it never went beyond that, so I decided to try out more average women to see if that was better. To my surprise, I actually did far worse approaching or initiating with women that were average and/or those I wasn't really that into. There was one night I went out by myself and I approached a group of these average women and they just bert stared me, it was super awkward. There was another time I was at a bar at around 10ish, I was waiting for a friend that was going to meet me there. Anyway, I tried striking up this conversation with a woman near by and she literally stuck her nose in the air and turned her back on me, she was maybe mid 30s, slightly overweight and average looking. I tried out a speed dating event, there were 10 women that were mostly average, a couple were heavy, etc. Only 3 had anything of substance to discuss and were enjoyable to converse with. One gave me one word answers and kept looking away, so literally no interaction at all lol. Another one I sat down with and I'd ask her questions and she'd give me sarcastic and rude responses. A third was just a straight up ***** and stuck her nose in the air lol. To sum it up, people know where they are and I feel it's better for everyone to stay within that league and play in it.

Also, I factor in other variables besides just physical appearance. There are hot girls that are super trashy for instance. I feel it's good to go for women that are around your league physically but also those that have a similar upbringing, lifestyle, etc.
 
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Barrister

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@Barrister

In my opinion, in a situation like this there is a difference between women that are for relationship/dating material and those that are just ONS, FWBs, etc.

I do know that many men will see less attractive women that aren't really there league as "slump busters" when they've been out of the game for a while. I don't have to get into the detailed dynamics of this, but I think that this can be of great value to men. Now, I think how low so men are willing to go is going to be relatively subjective to each individual. A lot of guys would feel grossed out by the idea of being with a landwhale or very unattractive woman, I'm one of them. However, if a man has been on a long dry spell and is holding out for some 8 or 9 it may be in his best interest to have a fling with a more average girl who perhaps isn't particularly attractive, is not in shape but still reasonable, etc. I think a good way to gauge this is the boner test. If you have to watch porn or use your imagination in order to get an erection when you are with these women I'd say that is a bad sign, I'm just going to assume this is for a healthy male who isn't drunk or high on drugs. In my opinion, I don't really think there is any reason for a man to dumpster dive or go well beyond his standards or his personal league, as there are a lot of women that are still presentable lol.

Now, when it comes to actual dating/relationship material I think this can be a bit tricky. It should be normal for a man to want to date women he is attracted to and I think forcing yourself to date someone you aren't into is just not in your best interest nor that of the female party. Something that I've witnessed is when a man, who isn't very confident and not very sure of where he actually stands, settles for something that is the first to come along and is in reality below him. I can think of a few instances where I knew of men who were in relationships like this and that the woman was controlling of them, almost as if to make them feel lesser because they deep down knew those men could go better. I feel like it's in everyone's best interest to go with people who are around your league, and I also feel that this is something that people are intuitively aware of, which I'll elaborate on below.

For instance, a couple years back I was having some bad experiences with very attractive women, so getting first dates and all that but nothing more, so I decided to try out more average women to see if that was better. To my surprise, I actually did far worse approaching or initiating with women that were average and/or those I wasn't really that into. There were a few times I went out by myself and I'd approach a group of these average women and they just bert stared me, it was super awkward. There was another time I was at a bar at around 10ish, I was waiting for a friend that was going to meet me there. Anyway, I tried striking up this conversation with a woman near by and she literally stuck her nose in the air and turned her back on me, she was maybe mid 30s, slightly overweight and average looking. I tried out a speed dating event, there were 10 women that were mostly average, a couple were heavy, etc. Only 3 had anything of substance to discuss and were enjoyable to converse with. One gave me one word answers and kept looking away, so literally no interaction at all lol. Another one I sat down with and I'd ask her questions and she'd give me sarcastic and rude responses. A third was just a straight up ***** and stuck her nose in the air lol. To sum it up, people know where they are and I feel it's better for everyone to stay within that league and play in it.

Also, I factor in other variables besides just physical appearance. There are hot girls that are super trashy for instance. I feel it's good to go for women that are around your league physically but also those that have a similar upbringing, lifestyle, etc.
I have always been extremely picky with women. I am an attractive guy and have good game 1 on 1. My cold approach is a work in progress but I do very well if I have a woman on a date.

My boner test seems too stringent to myself sometimes. As I said, I have the date with what I would consider a HB 6.5 coming up. She is not bad looking, not fat, but not great. She is 30. I feel moderately attracted to her but the thought of having sex with her does not induce a raging boner in me. I think I will be able to do it without any issue but I don't feel some strong innate desire. My most recent ex was very good looking (probably HB 8), and I don't know if that is messing with me somewhat. I think I just need a "slump buster" as you refer to it to get back into the swing of things.
 

sangheilios

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I have always been extremely picky with women. I am an attractive guy and have good game 1 on 1. My cold approach is a work in progress but I do very well if I have a woman on a date.

My boner test seems too stringent to myself sometimes. As I said, I have the date with what I would consider a HB 6.5 coming up. She is not bad looking, not fat, but not great. She is 30. I feel moderately attracted to her but the thought of having sex with her does not induce a raging boner in me. I think I will be able to do it without any issue but I don't feel some strong innate desire. My most recent ex was very good looking (probably HB 8), and I don't know if that is messing with me somewhat. I think I just need a "slump buster" as you refer to it to get back into the swing of things.
I'm not you and I obviously don't know you besides from what I'm reading, which is not even 1% of your as an individual. You aren't much older than me, but I personally feel like people of around our generation are in fact picky as a demographic. I'm not going to get into a detailed discussion as to why this is, as it isn't really that relevant to you as an individual, but this is in fact a real thing and you aren't at all unusual. I don't think men are as bad, but I have known of women who literally are perpetually single and seem to be holding out for some unicorn man that in the real world doesn't actually exist, thus the reason why they are single.

In my opinion, I feel like you should go out with this woman and enjoy your time with her. If you don't feel a strong primitive desire for this woman that most likely is not going to change, so there is no reason to force yourself to try to make that happen. However, I feel that just by being around women in a date type setting is healthy for men, even if you aren't experiencing those feelings. By being around women in a setting like that you feel more confident, comfortable and relaxed around them and you don't give off an overeager or worse creepy vibe. If in the future you run into a woman who you are really into you won't scare her off and will come across as a chill and interesting guy she met, etc.

From my own experience, as well as observations I've made of other men, when you go a long time without interacting with women, particularly in a dating environment, it can lead to giving off an energy like that I mentioned previously. For instance, there was a guy I knew that I used to hang out with that hand't been on a date in like over 3 years and whenever women were around you could feel tension and awkwardness. He literally had no standards, so he behaved overeager and aggressive with any woman that was around. After I stopped talking to this guy a few months later I found out he was getting fired from all of these jobs he had due to sexual harassment. I'm not saying you are creepy or will behave like this man, as this is a more extreme example obviously.
 

Barrister

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I'm not you and I obviously don't know you besides from what I'm reading, which is not even 1% of your as an individual. You aren't much older than me, but I personally feel like people of around our generation are in fact picky as a demographic. I'm not going to get into a detailed discussion as to why this is, as it isn't really that relevant to you as an individual, but this is in fact a real thing and you aren't at all unusual. I don't think men are as bad, but I have known of women who literally are perpetually single and seem to be holding out for some unicorn man that in the real world doesn't actually exist, thus the reason why they are single.

In my opinion, I feel like you should go out with this woman and enjoy your time with her. If you don't feel a strong primitive desire for this woman that most likely is not going to change, so there is no reason to force yourself to try to make that happen. However, I feel that just by being around women in a date type setting is healthy for men, even if you aren't experiencing those feelings. By being around women in a setting like that you feel more confident, comfortable and relaxed around them and you don't give off an overeager or worse creepy vibe. If in the future you run into a woman who you are really into you won't scare her off and will come across as a chill and interesting guy she met, etc.

From my own experience, as well as observations I've made of other men, when you go a long time without interacting with women, particularly in a dating environment, it can lead to giving off an energy like that I mentioned previously. For instance, there was a guy I knew that I used to hang out with that hand't been on a date in like over 3 years and whenever women were around you could feel tension and awkwardness. He literally had no standards, so he behaved overeager and aggressive with any woman that was around. After I stopped talking to this guy a few months later I found out he was getting fired from all of these jobs he had due to sexual harassment. I'm not saying you are creepy or will behave like this man, as this is a more extreme example obviously.
Yes - I think going out with her and just seeing what happens is the right move as you suggest. Of course I will escalate as any good DJ would do and see how things turn out. I really wish my boner test was a lower bar but it is what it is.
 

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RickTheToad

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I am again starting my plate rotation from scratch and I have had some trouble getting it off the ground the last couple of months after leaving my LTR. I have some options but I don't really find them all that attractive (both are off of OLD). One I would say is probably a HB 6 and the other is about a HB 6.5. I know for some sex is sex but I generally have only slept with HB 7+ throughout my life (my kill count is probably significantly lower than a lot of people due to this -- I can't just fu*k anything).

Somewhat related to that -- do the other DJs think being seen with these lower SMV women actually makes other women view you as having lower SMV yourself if you are seen out and about with them? Or do women not really care? I feel like if you're constantly seen with lower SMV women it will begin to lower your own in the eyes of those who see you out with them.
If she's built like the Staypuft Marshmellow dude, then you have a problem. However, if she's average or better and obese, then you're okay. They'd just wonder what she's giving you that they aren't.


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BadBoy89

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I feel like if you're constantly seen with lower SMV women it will begin to lower your own in the eyes of those who see you out with them.
As long as the women is average looking and *NOT FAT*, the man’s SMW will go up.

But the man CANNOT be seen with a FAT women. That is deadly.

Even being seen with an:

- average looking older women is OK.
- average looking younger women is OK
- average looking tattooed woman is OK
- average looking slutty woman is OK
- average looking criminal record women is OK
- average looking single mom is OK
- average looking Islamic women is OK

but FAT is where the man should draw the line. Under NO circumstances should a man talk to, converse with, be seen with, or have sex with a *FAT* women under any circumstances.
 
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ThisIsSparta

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do the other DJs think being seen with these lower SMV women actually makes other women view you as having lower SMV yourself if you are seen out and about with them? Or do women not really care?
your mistake: you care what any women think

You are supposed to do whatever you like and if that means dating or fvcking a 5 at that point, because she is fun or a good fvck, then by all means do it and give shiat about what other people think.
 
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9-3enthusiast

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As long as the women is average looking and *NOT FAT*, the man’s SMW will go up.
I'll only use the word 'fat' if someone is elephant-like - and let's face it, no guy is gonna go there anyway.

But a 'chubby' chick can be OK if she has something else going for her... though it does depend what that 'something else' is.
A few years back I did a 'chubby' who was almost 20 yrs younger than me (mid 50s to her mid 30s) - We were seen together by a woman who had previously seemed uninterested in me, but then a coupla weeks later, that other woman suddenly became interested.
So from experience... 'chubby but significantly younger' ...can sometimes work in your favour.
 
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