It helps, but please don't be that ******* at the party who's like "oh you have a guitar?" and then plays the whole night, drowning out everyone's conversation, showboating the whole time. I'm sure you've been to a party where this happens... It always happens and nobody likes that one dude.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Does being musically talented raise your status?
- Thread starter Masculinity
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
In my 30's I was in a band that did alot of gigging. I was the lead guitarist. We were good enough to get played on a major station's local music scene show.
Anyways, I can't say that being on stage w/ a guitar got me laid very often. The ironic thing is, is that let's say you see a girl that you like, many times you don't have enough time to talk because you're up on stage playing !
There were many gigs I remember looking out on the floor and watching guys approach chicks that I had spotted earlier when we were getting ready to go on.
Now I can say that just being able to play guitar is a definite plus as far as attraction goes. One of my girlfriends stated that she loved the fact that I was into "macho" things like full contact Karate and cars, but that I also had an artistic softer side.
Anyways, I can't say that being on stage w/ a guitar got me laid very often. The ironic thing is, is that let's say you see a girl that you like, many times you don't have enough time to talk because you're up on stage playing !
There were many gigs I remember looking out on the floor and watching guys approach chicks that I had spotted earlier when we were getting ready to go on.
Now I can say that just being able to play guitar is a definite plus as far as attraction goes. One of my girlfriends stated that she loved the fact that I was into "macho" things like full contact Karate and cars, but that I also had an artistic softer side.
L.O.L. I don't want to sound mean, but I think there's some kind of requirement that if you're a female and you like Rockabilly, you need to be on the heavy side.Sparky said:
A hot Rockabilly chick is a VERY rare specimen. Shame, because it's such a cool scene withe the cars, clothes, guitars, etc..........
Masculinity
Master Don Juan
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Thanks for your input Iceberg; sometimes the answer is so close that we can fail to see it. This thread has brought out many good anecdotes and
perspectives to the forum.
perspectives to the forum.
^ This guy is brilliant. Why didn't I think of this before!?cupraikso said:
Scars
Master Don Juan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdbP6cSFJXsRobyn923b said:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
HAHA :crackup: I know what you mean. But - TOO specific. Doesn't have to be a "rockabilly" bird per se, I'm happy with a girl who's into anything from Count Basie to Motorhead really so long as it's that kind of Rhythm and Blues thing.Rubirosa said:
Any girl who likes Beyonce and all that - well she ain't putting that on the stereo in my house or car. Behavior like that will most definitely not be tolerated. Unless it involves a private lap dance to said music.
I play guitar, it's gotten me laid on just one occassion, just playing infront of a couple girls with my buddy. About to start playing in my old band again so I'm hoping that will help the tang roll in. I know it helps A LOT!
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Arpeggio!!Scars said:
As Radiohead so deftly put it:
"Anyone can play guitar,
and you won't be a nothin' anymore..."
Anyone can pick up cowboy chords on a guitar, and it is relatively easy to go from "bad" to "good". It is much more difficult, however, to go from "good" to "great" (where I am). I've paid my dues.
When you're great, even non-musical chicks can sense that you're doing something special, out of the ordinary. And they do respond very positively. Take my word for it.
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Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Guys, this is a great discussion.
I was thinking of starting a "Guitar Players' Practice Accountability" thread in Anything Else.
In there we can state our practice goals and hold each other accountable to accomplish them. For example, I will probably commit to 1.5 hours a day, 5 days a week to start. This is not overwhelming and can be broken into smaller chunks during the day (which is much more effective than a single sitting for me).
In the thread, I will report to you guys how I am doing and what effects I'm noticing. You guys would do the same. Everyone would probably have different goals based upon ability and lifestyle, and that's fine.
But we would then have a system of accountability where we would be able to encourage each other and spur each other on to greater things. For myself, 1.5 hours of committed practice 5 days a week would translate to 7.5 hours, which is 3.5 hours more practice per week or 175 additional hours per year. Imagine how much better we would all become, and we would largely eliminate the problem of motivation that many of us are facing.
Let me know what you guys think, please. If there is interest I'll start the thread and we can get to work at becoming virtuosos and gaining that feeling of mastery. Are you in?
I was thinking of starting a "Guitar Players' Practice Accountability" thread in Anything Else.
In there we can state our practice goals and hold each other accountable to accomplish them. For example, I will probably commit to 1.5 hours a day, 5 days a week to start. This is not overwhelming and can be broken into smaller chunks during the day (which is much more effective than a single sitting for me).
In the thread, I will report to you guys how I am doing and what effects I'm noticing. You guys would do the same. Everyone would probably have different goals based upon ability and lifestyle, and that's fine.
But we would then have a system of accountability where we would be able to encourage each other and spur each other on to greater things. For myself, 1.5 hours of committed practice 5 days a week would translate to 7.5 hours, which is 3.5 hours more practice per week or 175 additional hours per year. Imagine how much better we would all become, and we would largely eliminate the problem of motivation that many of us are facing.
Let me know what you guys think, please. If there is interest I'll start the thread and we can get to work at becoming virtuosos and gaining that feeling of mastery. Are you in?
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
@ Atom Smasher
Great idea. Like you, I sit down and practice for 45-60 minutes about 4 times per week. Took lessons every week for 6 years up until last month.
And yeah, as you said, you gotta pay your dues. I think what separates the good players from the guys who throw their guitar in the closet and forget about it is the good players are willing to suffer. There are chords that took me 5-6 months to train my fingers to hit.
Another point you raised was how everyone plays guitar. I took a liking to old blues music, so I differentiated myself from the strummers by learning a finger picking style. I use my thumb to hit the bass notes, index finger to pick individual notes, and the back of my hand to get a rhythm. Actually here's a good example of that style, in case anyone is into bluesy stuff.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if0p2kKitlU
Great idea. Like you, I sit down and practice for 45-60 minutes about 4 times per week. Took lessons every week for 6 years up until last month.
And yeah, as you said, you gotta pay your dues. I think what separates the good players from the guys who throw their guitar in the closet and forget about it is the good players are willing to suffer. There are chords that took me 5-6 months to train my fingers to hit.
Another point you raised was how everyone plays guitar. I took a liking to old blues music, so I differentiated myself from the strummers by learning a finger picking style. I use my thumb to hit the bass notes, index finger to pick individual notes, and the back of my hand to get a rhythm. Actually here's a good example of that style, in case anyone is into bluesy stuff.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if0p2kKitlU
Ah yes, and similarly, on a more rockabilly related tip, Travis picking FTW! - I've found that this impresses girls because you actually give the audio illusion of it sounding like two guitarists playing. A bit of Travis picking as opposed to the usual cheesy chord strumming and they've never heard anything like it.Iceberg said:
Similar to Mr Gorilla here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g85GgLCh_Ts
Yes. Basically. It can be a bit annoying because you can tell when things are out of tune more as well - so while everyone else is enjoying the music I tend to find myself cringeing from time to time.DMEDFISIK said:
It takes a few seconds to kind of "home in" on the key - I'd say usually I can nail the key in about 10 - 15 seconds or less. I used to practise with classical music my dad played in the car (I am classically trained as well) - that's extra difficult because you have to listen for a while to work out the actual "resolution" key that it defaults to, seeing as a lot of classical jumps around key-wise so much.
That's not to say that some music is enjoyable out of tune slightly - like honky tonk, boogie and so on. The Rolling Stones for example were out of tune a lot of the time, but they made it sound good because of the Honky Tonk nature of a lot of their stuff.
No one believes me about this in real life until I give them the "piano" test - and even then they think I've got some trickery mirror set up so I can see the keys.
Best way to practise is try and nail a classical key - then look on the CD to see what key it's actually in, see how you did. On ocassion about 5% of the time I can get it a semitone wrong either side if it's a particularly tricky number.
Another weird thing I've got is - for about 25 years now I've been regularly listening to full volume rock n roll on headphones and it doesn't seem to have AFFECTED MY HEARING - I SAID "AFFECTED MY HEARING" - I SAID " haha no seriously. I wonder whetehr the two go hand in hand for some strange reason like it's the make up of one's ear drum or something?
There are certain levels of musical talent acquirable through hard work alone.
Take Beethoven. He wrote his most famous pieces when he was 100% deaf. That's right 100% deaf. This is the same music being played around 200 years later. Sure I bet Beethoven did work hard. But that kind of thing requires pure musical skill, genius, talent whatever you want to call it. I could compose everyday if I wanted to but I wouldn't get anywhere near the level of Beethoven.
Of course its not an excuse to stop trying at all since you'll never be as good as the guy next door. Music is an incredible thing even on "simple" songs.
Take Beethoven. He wrote his most famous pieces when he was 100% deaf. That's right 100% deaf. This is the same music being played around 200 years later. Sure I bet Beethoven did work hard. But that kind of thing requires pure musical skill, genius, talent whatever you want to call it. I could compose everyday if I wanted to but I wouldn't get anywhere near the level of Beethoven.
Of course its not an excuse to stop trying at all since you'll never be as good as the guy next door. Music is an incredible thing even on "simple" songs.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
As much as I'd love to show off, I don't want to even remotely run the risk of my real identity ever being linked to "Snowdog". I'm sure you understand.Atom Smasher said:
You'll just have to take my word for it and if you don't, that's fine by me too.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I understand... I have to protect my identity, too as I'm fairly well known in the Northeast.snowdog said:
I just thought maybe there was something floating around out there. I'm always looking for new inspiration.
Are you like a famous guy?
And yea, there's stuff out there on youtube and ****. I played in a bunch of bands and once even was on the radio. Biggest bragging I can do is that I made it to the finals of a pretty big talent show and lost to a bunch of rappers LOL.
And yea, there's stuff out there on youtube and ****. I played in a bunch of bands and once even was on the radio. Biggest bragging I can do is that I made it to the finals of a pretty big talent show and lost to a bunch of rappers LOL.
thedude4242
Master Don Juan
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being musically talented dont mean nothing unless you are already attractive. the music wont help you out.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.