Does backing down from a breakup spell an end?

[WORKEROUTER]

Last night I went over to break up with my gf. She's 21, I'm 19, and we've been dating for a few months. Anyway, I like this girl a lot but have been feeling like her IL has been dropping in me lately. Nothing I can pinpoint in particular, just subtle feelings of this...more like a gut feeling.

I decided to get rid of her before she got rid of me and thus decided to break up with her. The problem is that I couldn't get myself to do it. I told her it was over, but then we were talking together about it for like half an hour or so, and I began to get reassured by what she was telling me that she really is into me. She said that she does want me and that she's not looking for any other guy. But at the same time, she expressed worry about thinking that I feel differently. I began to wonder if her IL was really dropping or if it was me just being a little insecure about getting close to her.

As I still really like this girl, I eventually decided to take the breakup back, and so we are still together.

But the issue is this. I feel like it's weird to see her again. I feel like in a way, she has some power over me at this point.

What could be the repercussions of this (if any..and by "this" I mean not actually following thru with the breakup)? And how should I handle the relationship from this point on?

 

[speedo_meme]

Quit being a puzzy. Quit worrying about her. Just let go. You have one-itis. JUST LET GO. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Quit thinking about it. I don't know how to drive this point home any better.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Quit being a puzzy. Quit worrying about her. Just let go. You have one-itis. JUST LET GO. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Quit thinking about it. I don't know how to drive this point home any better.

So...rather than focusing or "worrying" about what she'll do next, focus more on not having so much oneitis for her?

I think you're right.

 

[poohead]

break up, stick to it - then watch her attitude change quickly.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

then watch her attitude change quickly.

what do you mean?

 

[poohead]

i bet she starts seeing you as a more assertive guy and her IL starts to go up again.
i'm seriously going to do this myself next time i'm in a situation where i can feel things are headed downhill but i can't put my finger on what's behind the low IL. much better than what i have been doing - which is, either nothing and then one day i get hit by a surprise out of the blue, or i try too hard to bring her IL up again, and make some type of mistake that ruins it.

 

[speedo_meme]

So...rather than focusing or "worrying" about what she'll do next, focus more on not having so much oneitis for her?

I think you're right.

Yes. See? You're analyzing my very simple post. STOP. START SARGING OTHER GIRLS TODAY, LIKE, RIGHT NOW.

 

[Obsidian]

I totally disagree. You've shown a willingness to walk away and thereby raised her interest level back up. Sounds like things are good to me. If she has to plead with you to stay with her, that's generally a good thing.


"I feel like it's weird to see her again. I feel like in a way, she has some power over me at this point."

Regardless of what you feel, she obviously *doesn't* have power over you. You have power over her.

Why would backing *down* from a breakup spell an end? It seems to me like the breakup itself would be the end.