Does anyone know what this means?

[Elfynne]

NRM,

You're right, they probably do think I'm funny, which makes me upset since I don't like the idea of being laughed at behind my back. I don't understand what it is I do that they find so humourous.

Ever Onward,

You may be right also...that they might find me attractive in some weird sort of way. I've been remembering, and now I recall some times where they leaned very close to me when I spoke to them, and when they put their hand on my shoulder or on my back when we were walking, as if to "guide" me or something. Some of them just flat-out grinned at me.

What confuses me is this: isn't a guy supposed to act more serious when in the presence of an attractive woman? I thought that if they did like me, they would act more mature instead of weird like this.

For example...about a month ago I went to a bar/dance club with my friends. I'm not really accustomed to such places...plus I can't dance...so I sat on the sidelines while watching my friends dance. While I was sitting there, these two guys stood right in front of me, and they kept looking at me and whispering like they were talking about me. They weren't just smiling, they were grinning like wolves. Naturally I felt a little embarrassed, wondering if I had snots running out of my nose or something. They seemed to find me extremely funny for some reason.

Why do you think they were acting that way? I'm stumped.

 

[rgeere]

I think they are just acting flirty..

I don't know why you are acting so self-conscious about the fact other than that it seems that you look at your self a bit negitively and interpret their motives as negitive.

Have any of these guys asked you out or made moves on you?

 

[Ever onward]

For example...about a month ago I went to a bar/dance club with my friends. I'm not really accustomed to such places...plus I can't dance...so I sat on the sidelines while watching my friends dance. While I was sitting there, these two guys stood right in front of me, and they kept looking at me and whispering like they were talking about me. They weren't just smiling, they were grinning like wolves. Naturally I felt a little embarrassed, wondering if I had snots running out of my nose or something. They seemed to find me extremely funny for some reason.

Why do you think they were acting that way? I'm stumped.

It sounds like you are just being insecure. You assume people don't take you serioiusly and look for clues in how people act to prove yourself right. It's like when a guy feels unattractive and approaches a woman, he takes any rejection from the woman as PROOF that he is in fact ugly when this might not be the case. Maybe he got rejected because she has a boyfriend or her cat died, or a million other reasons.

These are your own limiting beliefs. Don't project your own self doubts onto what others may or may not be thinking. It's impossible to know what others think. Your only concern should be what you think. Many AFC's on this board, myself included, fear being rejected by a woman because we worry about what they think of us. But maybe I'll change that soon.

I hope this helps

 

[Ricco]

In a nutshell...They are checking you out. They see you as a cutie but shy/quiet. They are testing you to see if you are interested.

 

[entropy]

In a nutshell your over-analyzing.


They seemed to find me extremely funny for some reason.

You have no proof of what they were doing, your mind just automatically assumes things.

This is what you need to work on, not what body language means what.

 

[MackJr]

Originally posted by Elfynne
NRM,
What confuses me is this: isn't a guy supposed to act more serious when in the presence of an attractive woman? I thought that if they did like me, they would act more mature instead of weird like this.

No. There is no "supposed to". The way a guy acts has more to do with his internal state than you. Same thing with women come to think of it. The "serious" James Bond attitude is what you may have come to think of as asign of interest, but AFC guys act wacky and silly like Adam Sandler did in his golf movie.

Actually, the james bond thing we DJs do is more of an act, just like the cutesy girly thing your female friends who get laid all the time is just as much of an act.

I really wonder what your goals are coming to a site like this. Any non-fat non-old woman can get laid without needing any skills or personality.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by MackJr

I really wonder what your goals are coming to a site like this. Any non-fat non-old woman can get laid without needing any skills or personality.

She want to understand guys I think. But then guys are supposedly harder to read than girls so I can see why.

 

[MackJr]

I do have a female nerd friend who's 29 and a virgin. She's cute enough, but she's afraid, too shy, so she refuses date invitations. I don't think she's ever been on a date unless you count her going out with friends like me as a date.

But with women, I think the limiting factor is more fear than skill.

 

[Sardaukar]

<Shakes head>

Elfynne, you think too much. What you lack is real, meaningful interaction.

We should meet over coffee and I'll show you what it's all about, put your mind at ease.

 

[MVPlaya]

Sardaukar! I challenge to a kanly! You're no match for a Fremen Fedaykin. You kindjal blade will shatter before a crysknife.


God... your screen name brings back days of dorkdom.

 

[Pac_Man]

I usually do the half smile with girls that I like or am flirting with and I'll give them intense eye contact while doing it. I'll usually do it slowly though. Look at them and then slowly move my lips to a half smile. I don't know why I do it it's just automatic.

 

[Elfynne]

Originally posted by MackJr
I really wonder what your goals are coming to a site like this. Any non-fat non-old woman can get laid without needing any skills or personality.

Rgeere is right, I'm just trying to understand some of the weird examples I've seen of male behavior. I'm not old or fat, and I'm not trying to get laid. There's more to male/female interaction than merely getting laid.

 

[Elfynne]

Originally posted by entropy
In a nutshell your over-analyzing.

You have no proof of what they were doing, your mind just automatically assumes things.

This is what you need to work on, not what body language means what.

I am, by nature, a very analytical person...if something bothers me I have to pick it apart in my head, piece by piece. It's just the way I am.

I also remember hearing that body language is much more dependable than a person's spoken words...they may say one thing, but their body language will say what they are really thinking or feeling. But even knowing that, I've never been very good at interpreting facial expressions and such.

 

[HuangBei]

I know that when I get that look on my face, I've figured the girl out and know exactly what she really wants. Also, I actually
am amused by her, and it's become like a game.

Woot! It's always so fun.

 

[MackJr]

Originally posted by Elfynne
I also remember hearing that body language is much more dependable than a person's spoken words...they may say one thing, but their body language will say what they are really thinking or feeling. But even knowing that, I've never been very good at interpreting facial expressions and such.

Careful. Facial expressions are somewhat universal, but body language, such as arms and legs, tend to vary from person to person. If someone smiles they're happy. But if someone crosses their arms, it means absolutely nothing unless you know the person well.

 

[MackJr]

Originally posted by Elfynne
Rgeere is right, I'm just trying to understand some of the weird examples I've seen of male behavior. I'm not old or fat, and I'm not trying to get laid. There's more to male/female interaction than merely getting laid.

Not that that's not true, but getting laid is the doorway. You're not in a real relationship until you've had sex. That's the point at which people start showing their real selves, their possessiveness, their anxieties, all that good stuff.

A lot of AFC guys don't realize that, so they focus on relationships and values, and ironically they don't get any relationships. Hey, I was there too once. Maybe the problem is similar with an AFC chick.

So because one must come from before the other, this site is about getting laid and dealing with the aftermath. That is relationships.

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by Sardaukar
I would recommend that you look for female PUA and DJ websites, but most of those are only b1tch factories.

What does that make us?

By the way, nice name... Where's House Atreides?