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Does anyone go downtown a lot?

Guy69JackBlue

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I haven't been to the downtown bars and clubs in my city nearly at all in the past two-and-a-half years. Maybe just once or twice. Before that I used to go there fairly often. My face was known in nearly every establishment in the downtown area. However, even back then, Inever got anything from it. I never got laid from any girl during that entire period I used to go downtown (which was on and off for 4 years). I never even got a single phone number or a social media. Although I didn't really try, either. My focus was mainly on just getting drunk.

I no longer drink alcohol. I haven't had a drop of alcohol in two and a half years. I quit because I was drinking everyday and I no longer want to do that.

I just randomly and accidentally drove by downtown while people were out at the bars. The girls that I was mostly looked immature and like kids. I'm 34. I'm not sure if there's any point in me trying to go downtown again.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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To tell a little about my personality... I'm very quiet most of the time. In the past, it would take 3-4 beers before I would even open my mouth. But I've been told that when I do talk... I say a lot. So I guess I say a lot in a few words and mostly only talk when necessary.
 

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Guy69JackBlue

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I live out in the burbs, if you want any action it's gotta be downtown. I pretty much have no choice
So how does that go for you? What makes you successful if you are. And what do you see in the most successful guys there?
 

Romanemp22

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I don't know what's the story behind you not going out maybe you were in relationship or something like that but the point is you don't have to be so dependent on alcohol to lose up and chat with girls.

Best way to meet girls now is street game, bars in my country are still half half because there's a police hour around 9pm. Maybe where you live is different.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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I don't know what's the story behind you not going out maybe you were in relationship or something like that but the point is you don't have to be so dependent on alcohol to lose up and chat with girls.

Best way to meet girls now is street game, bars in my country are still half half because there's a police hour around 9pm. Maybe where you live is different.
I quit drinking so going out is not as fun. I started focusing on my business working every day. I'm a real estate developer. I make a pretty decent amount of money, but I'm not looking to be some sugar daddy. I don't really show the money off at all.
 

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Barrister

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You don't need to go downtown to have success with women. That said, "downtown" in most cities is going to be a happening area with lots of women that you can approach. Obviously, with cold approach you are going to strike out more often than you land a hit even if you have high SMV. You just need to keep it up and you will have success so long as you are decent looking and aren't completely incompetent when it comes to carrying a conversation (and being confident while doing it).

You saying that you generally are very quiet until you have had 3-4 drinks makes me feel like you need to work on your approach/confidence if you are that closed off. Plus, you don't necessarily want to be very tipsy/drunk when you are making your first approach. You can get sloppy and you are automatically going to turn some women off if they sense you have a lot of alcohol on board.
 

2Rocky

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Alcohol is a social lubricant for many girls. That's just a fact of life. In your 30's you have to remember that many of the target age range women have a career and or family obligations. They may favor Happy Hour (4-6pm) gatherings during the week and shy away from the weekend bar crawls they did in their early 20's.

That said, I've met a number of women traveling for business in the hotel bars during the week. On the Weekends they are more likely to be in bars attached to nicer restaurants and not the dive bar or dance club downtown, or detaching from the social scene in the parks and on the trails.

You meet more late 20's/early 30's girls through social circle or at their kid's events/school. If you run into one out at a dance club there is a high likelihood she is divorced and trying to recapture her youth on a rare night away from the kids. Childless women this age will frequently be career oriented, rigid in their standards OR not have desire for children.
 

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FlexpertHamilton

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Ya know there are other things to do downtown other than bars right?

I live in the heart of my cities downtown area and I see women everywhere during the day. I much prefer meeting them in popular public spaces like parks, plazas, shop/food districts, etc. There's plenty more opportunity in downtown areas...especially in the "happening" areas since they're very full of younger people most of them are very relaxed and in a good mood.

Either way, going anywhere downtown is a must for approaching... common sense should tell you that higher densities of people and lots of foot traffic makes approaching significantly easier and more natural.
 

Hamurabimbi

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Used to. Now nightlife is dead. Shops boarded up. Few people. Homeless camps. Mask zombies. Not much fun anymore.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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I went to a bar tonight. Kind of a family-friendly place and not exactly in downtown, more of in "midtown."

I don't drink alcohol, so I drank some iced tea and ate a quesadilla. The bartenders weren't very attractive, although it's possible they think they are. I'm grateful that they didn't call me sweetie or hun or love even 1 time, so I didn't mind leaving a decent tip.

Looking around, most girls there were not of sufficient looks for me to care about, and they were all with other people anyway. Most of the place was groups of 2 (1 guy, 1 girl) who came together.

Not sure what the point of this is for me. It's not really accomplishing anything or advancing anything. I didn't feel like getting to know anyone, and even if I did, it would have been next to impossible.
 

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Guy69JackBlue

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Guys who talk like this usually are not of sufficient looks themselves.

They couldn't get girls to notice them if they - to use a dog analogy - tied a pork chop around their necks.

I think your presence here is solely meant to 'stir things up' and incite meaningless rants back and forth.

You don't strike me as a high value male, or even as someone who wants to be one someday.
You're annoying as fvck.

You respond to everyone who you don't even know trying to talk down to them. You're obviously insecure.
 

Grinderman

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Every one of your posts is incredibly narcissistic.

You’re trying to prove you’re cooler than everyone else.
This is such a glaringly obvious projection.

As "projection" seems to be thrown about without reason, let me explain it for the numbskulls: Hank does exactly what he his accusing the other member of doing. 1500 posts in three months is quite impressive and they display "full of himself" qualities (his little leather bracelet and his little leather jacket....) Attention seeking narcissism. Hank always needs to come across as the Rico Suave with his made up Walter Mitty posts that are too often just AMS rewashes.....he wants so badly to be the cool kid. The pseudo alpha if you will.

Case closed.
 

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Guy69JackBlue

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This is such a glaringly obvious projection.

As "projection" seems to be thrown about without reason, let me explain it for the numbskulls: Hank does exactly what he his accusing the other member of doing. 1500 posts in three months is quite impressive and they display "full of himself" qualities (his little leather bracelet and his little leather jacket....) Attention seeking narcissism. Hank always needs to come across as the Rico Suave with his made up Walter Mitty posts that are too often just AMS rewashes.....he wants so badly to be the cool kid. The pseudo alpha if you will.

Case closed.
I was gonna say the same thing but I decided just to let it end so I don't risk getting banned for arguing too much.
 

SW15

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I haven't been to the downtown bars and clubs in my city nearly at all in the past two-and-a-half years. Maybe just once or twice. Before that I used to go there fairly often. My face was known in nearly every establishment in the downtown area. However, even back then, Inever got anything from it. I never got laid from any girl during that entire period I used to go downtown (which was on and off for 4 years). I never even got a single phone number or a social media. Although I didn't really try, either. My focus was mainly on just getting drunk.

I no longer drink alcohol. I haven't had a drop of alcohol in two and a half years. I quit because I was drinking everyday and I no longer want to do that.

I just randomly and accidentally drove by downtown while people were out at the bars. The girls that I was mostly looked immature and like kids. I'm 34. I'm not sure if there's any point in me trying to go downtown again.
Your experience is only unusual in the sense that you were not trying. Many men are active in nightlife and are trying to get vagina. Many men, despite their activity in nightlife and their goal of sex, fail to get sex. In any given night of nightlife, well over 95% of men fail to have sex that night. A few more men than that emerge with phone numbers, but the majority of those phone numbers go nowhere.

On the whole, meeting women in non-bar venues will generally be more productive. However, the major advantage that bars have is the quantity of attractive women in one area who are single, reasonably attractive, and looking to meet men. No grocery store, mall, gym/fitness class can make the same claim. You'd be hard pressed to find a walking/hiking path or dense city street that could offer you that either.

Women you meet at non-bar locations will be more likely to take an approach seriously if there are actively in the market for meeting new men. Attention whoring is common in nightlife, and even more common on social media and swipe apps.

You saying that you generally are very quiet until you have had 3-4 drinks makes me feel like you need to work on your approach/confidence if you are that closed off. Plus, you don't necessarily want to be very tipsy/drunk when you are making your first approach. You can get sloppy and you are automatically going to turn some women off if they sense you have a lot of alcohol on board.
This is one of the big barriers to entry of daygame. Most men are unable to approach women in a non-bar location while sober. That explains the popularity of social media/swipe apps for men with no social circle, an increasing % of the male population. It also explains why nightlife exists and why men have tried to build social circles. The men who do daygame regularly have the best chops in game.

I live out in the burbs, if you want any action it's gotta be downtown. I pretty much have no choice
It depends on the city, though most metropolitan areas follow the model you describe.

One of the few examples of a metropolitan area that does not follow that model is Phoenix, Arizona. In Metro Phoenix, the biggest areas of nightlife have been in two suburbs, Scottsdale and Tempe. Tempe is the home to Arizona State University, one of the biggest party colleges in the United States. However, Scottsdale has had an active nightlife scene for decades. For instance, in 1990, its population was 130,000 when Phoenix's was 983,000. Tempe was 141,000 in 1990. All 3 cities have grown immensely since 1990. Even then, Scottsdale had active nightlife, though the 1990s is about when Scottsdale overtook Phoenix as the center of nightlife in that metroplitan area.

Phoenix proper now has a population of 1,681,000, so there's enough of a singles scene in Phoenix itself that a person would have solid options even if they confined themselves to Phoenix. Scottsdale is now just over 250,000 and Tempe is in the high 100s. Both suburbs have a big congregation of 20s/30s singles and nightlife.
 
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Grinderman

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I was gonna say the same thing but I decided just to let it end so I don't risk getting banned for arguing too much.
Yeah I get that. It seems to be going that way now. A lot of them seem to be embodying the feminine spirit now (there's a reason why some excellent posters such as Danger left of their own accord asking for their posts to be deleted).

I'm big on men sorting out their inner game issues. You see it a lot, men will learn outer game stuff get the girl and then fall to pieces and it all ends in tears too often because of an inner game issue that needed to be sorted out. Robert Bly addresses this when talking about men lacking mature masculine boundaries, who often end up "falling into the ashes". However, when I point out inner game issues or a flaw in someone's perspective, it's astonishingly taken as an insult (well maybe not astonishingly if the issue is a boundary that needs shoring up!!)

Anyway, back to your op..

I don't drink alcohol, so I drank some iced tea and ate a quesadilla. The bartenders weren't very attractive, although it's possible they think they are. I'm grateful that they didn't call me sweetie or hun or love even 1 time, so I didn't mind leaving a decent tip.
I bet if you drank alcohol you would be saying the bar was full of HB8's!!! haha. Better to do socializing without alcohol. You can see more clearly. They probably saw you were not drinking alcohol so didn't try to condescend you with that hun or love sickening ****e.

Not sure what the point of this is for me. It's not really accomplishing anything or advancing anything. I didn't feel like getting to know anyone, and even if I did, it would have been next to impossible
Have you felt this way only since covid? I felt this way with the last hike meet up group...there was a lot of females but I found there conversation inane. In fact, at one point (after hike, getting food) they started a conversation about dating apps...............felt no inclination to chat to them never mind "game" them......the whole dating app / social media generation.......are corrupt.
 

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2Rocky

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Guy69JackBlue

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I think folks just need to learn how to socialize again. Open a conversation and feed it... Once you do that...Even without sexual intent 90% of the IOI problems go away.


There's no such thing as an innocent conversation. We're not in the 3rd grade.
 
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