Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Does anybody else 'get it'

jmm854

Master Don Juan
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Almost exactly four and a half years ago, a friend of mine introduced me to a website, sosuave.com, and a post, Why Not Just Be Yourself. I was seventeen at the time, on a road to what most would assume to be a bright future, good grades, going to college...ya know all the sh*t that you think at a young age will put you in position for success later in life. However, socially, I was probably as naive as a newborn baby. I'd never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, and I think I really believed at the time that I simply didn't have what it takes to land even a date with a girl I found attractive. I saw my friends succeed with women. I understood that they were no better than myself. But still, when it came to grabbing my balls and doing something about my lack of a social life, it didn't happen. The problem ran deeper than just girls. I felt I didn't have as many friends as a 'normal' high school junior should, and that many people looked down upon me. Yes, it's safe to assume that in my prime of adolescence I had pushed myself to the ultimate mind f*ck.

I began reading the material. You newbies think you got it rough now, back then you so much as say one wrong thing and the masses (which were smaller, but more dedicated) would be all over your *ss with a READ THE BIBLE. There probably isn't one single more common response to a post ever written at sosuave then to read the bible.

I instantly bought in. Everything was beginning to make sense, and I felt I now had the answer to what was lacking all along. These techniques so often described are going to mold my sorry *ss into the high school heavyweight champion of players. My senior year, I did get my first girlfriend, my first kiss (and many others). But was I successful? Far from it. I might've moved up the scale a point or two that year, but in all reality nothing changed.

I grew up in a house that made it hard to be a teenager. Strict parents, pressure to succeed, the whole nine yards. High school could've been a great time for me but I didn't make it that. I made it an endurance test which I was just happy to be done by the time I graduated. So upon entering college I promised myself I was gonna be that guy in college that I wanted to be in high school.

Millersville University. A second chance, a new beginning. I went out, had good times, good memories, made friends. Maybe a few too many good times. My problem was, by the time I was finally away on my own and able to be the teenager I wasn't in high school, the time had already come for me to be an adult. I was in no way ready for it. And with women, still, nothing really changed. I only lasted a year at MU.

For myself to describe the next 2 years would take more time than neither you or I have to spend writing or reading. But to make the short of it, I became the golden child from the upper middle class suburban family gone entirely wrong. Things deteriorated with my parents. I got a DUI, and couldn't drive for 15 months, and my only true relationship to this day which began in 2004 ended this past July. I was kicked out into the real world, with not a damn thing to my name. I didn't stand a chance. When you come from success, and don't know any alternative, you assume things will work out, be okay. To say that my post-graduation life has been a struggle would be a severe understatement.

But I learned. I learned what it's gonna take to make a life for myself. How serious, and how discipline one must really be to survive, let alone succeed. I got the type of education that gets billed to you every month by landlords and utility companies, not from a classroom on campus like the rest of my high school friends waiting to receive diplomas in May. Truth of it is, they are the ones that don't have a clue anymore. I know all too well.

A funny thing happens when your own parents show you the door and wish you the best, and you're left with nothing but open couches and minimum wage jobs to try to survive. You begin to believe in yourself. Because there's no one left out there to do it for you. You have to, it's a matter of survival. And this my friends, is finally when the change I'd been waiting all too long for finally occurred.

Which brings me to the topic of conversation in this post. I think sosuave is great. It helps those that struggle socially not only answer those questions that were burning inside you about why your particular problem exists, but goes further in offering thousands of opinions on how to handle your situation. But none of it's gonna do you a d*mn bit of good until you do that one special thing.

You have to believe in yourself people. The bottom line is, you will accomplish in life if you believe, and you will fail if you don't. Sometimes even I forget this and gotta remind myself. It was only 3 weeks ago I posted another essay about how I should get my ex-girlfriend back. She's the past, and doesn't want to be a part of my future. If she does it's too late. It's amazing what 2 years will do to a man with the same girl, you almost forget she's just another fish in a sea bigger than anyone could ever swim in a lifetime. And she wasn't even a particularly great woman either. Average at best. They are all average. But as I had spoken earlier, I didn't have much success with women early on, and when the first girl came a knockin with a pretty face and the dream of sex entered my mind, I was hooked.

It took 3 pretty rough years to crack my shell and begin to believe, but it happened, and there's no turning back. All this sh*t's great, makes for good reading material, but it's really nothing at all. There really only needs to be one post on this whole discussion forum, that being, there are people in the world that know they can make things happen for themselves and those that also can make things happen for themselves but haven't realized the slightest of their potential yet, and until they do, they will continue to struggle in the aspects of life that they currently fail in.

I'm not one for the motivational talks. Nothing I say can motivate you. But I can promise you a couple things. Either begin to acknowledge your strengths and act on them, or life will put you in a position that you have to just to get by. The road I've taken thus far hasn't been pretty. To even call it a road is a stretch. But I am young, and I see that the knowledge I've acquired through experience is far greater than anything my friends learned by staying in school. A college degree will not get you by out there. All the money in the land will not get you where you want to be. They'll help, but it is you and only you that can make whatever it is you're looking for in life happen.

The good news is, all of you can do it. Every last one. The bad, you're not gonna wake up one day and have your dreams come true. But if you wake up every day with the mentality that your dreams are possible, you'll at least have a shot. And remember, we get only one shot. You will never have another February 11th, 2007 ever again. My only question is, what the f*ck are you gonna do about it.

I've really turned my life around. I am living with my parents again, we have a better relationship today then in a long time. I am returning to Millersville in the fall of this year, to study Meteorology. I hope to and will teach, hopefully at the high school or college level by the time I'm 26. I drive a nice car with less than 50 thousand miles on it, and my payments are weeks ahead right now. I have the highest paying job I've ever had, working for an inventory service. Women you ask? Find me the baddest b*tch you can and I might be interested. They'll come and go. Some you'll know for a day, some for longer, and a few will really try to make you believe there's something about them that you can't live without. But you can. Truth be told there's not one or a few girls out there 'for you', but rather a couple hundred thousand. The hope is that at some point one of those many comes into your life at the right time and fits what you want in your future. But it's still your future, don't forget it. And they're still just women, don't forget that either.

My social fears are not only overcome, they don't exist anymore. I've visited Millersville many times this semester already, and I have had a blast every single time. I can't wait to return to school. Not only to finally have that social life I only dreamt of before, but to get an education in a field that I want to be a part of, that will set me up for a life that over the past 3 years seemed so far away. I can't wait to get started again. September can't come fast enough.

Before you write your next post, ask yourself why you need advice to begin with. Chances are you're gonna hear what you already know deep down, but if you dig deep enough you'll also find you can solve that problem. You really can. And don't post on a topic unless you really feel your opinion will count. My number says I've posted 700+ times, but really, this is my only true post.

I hope my novel has brought some things into perspective for you all.

There will never be another today, how do you want to remember it?
 

LA_Chico

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excellent post bro, this is the kind of thing people need to read!
 

MiGuelS

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you're left with nothing but open couches and minimum wage jobs to try to survive. You begin to believe in yourself. Because there's no one left out there to do it for you. You have to, it's a matter of survival. And this my friends, is finally when the change I'd been waiting all too long for finally occurred
Most people don't believe in themselves or change until drastic circumstances come upon them

this reading hit a spot in me..... i'm kinda on the same path your were on.....
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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Excellent motivational reading. I agree with everything you're saying and it's great that you found what you needed.

This site isn't just about picking up women. In fact - in its essence, it ISN'T about that. It's about finding that lost MAN deep inside of our psyches. It's about believing in yourself and self-improvement.

I think if people just STOPPED thinking about women, started doing things for themselves, gained a few new hobbies, learned some new traits, the women will automatically start appearing. NOT because all of the sudden they're just gonna start coming up to you, but because without realizing it, in doing all the things above, you will be shaping your inner-confidence. Without realizing it, you will start talking to women with confidence, charisma, and charm. You won't KNOW that these changes will be taking place, but they will be.
 

selfmademob

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Yes, this site has helped me in so many ways, from like March of 2004 to July of 04 I went from like 220 to 160 and started dressing good and all that stuff but I still didn't feel the level of confidence that I want to acheive.

So, I started reading this forum and started working on my inner-game and now I am 19 in the Army stationed in Germany having a blast. though I wish I was a civilian ;)
 

jmm854

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Thanks for the feedback everyone.

Miguel--You can make it work for awhile. Ya know, the sh*tty paychecks, the parties, the lack of responsibility that comes with being young and not having a family to contribute to on a daily basis. Your money is your money, you can basically do what you want. But it's that path that will never allow you to get over the hump.

And at some point, either you'll have enough or something will happen, and you'll change your philosophy on what you're looking for. For me, it was losing my job last fall. I was locked into a lease on a 2 bedroom paying 725 a month (well half), car payments that are around 350/month, insurance hits me for 240/month, and my utilities were around 300 or so (also half). Between two jobs I was pulling in maybe slightly over 2 grand a month, but killing myself to do it. When I was forced to quit my main job, that's when I decided it was time. I found a way out of my lease, focused on catching up my car payments, and moved back home. The best thing that ever could've happened really. The word college and me wouldn't be in the same sentence otherwise. I'd be stuck paying rent year after year. I have a better job than before, which I enjoy more.

Do what it is you want, not what you feel you have to based on the given situation. You may think it's not possible but there's usually a way to make just about anything happen.
 

azanon

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That's a great post, and i'm glad to see that your life is coming together jmm.

That being said, my viewpoint though is that success with money/occupation is more mutually exclusive of success with women than they are aligned. And as much as I love women, I think the former is more important to get straight first if time forces you to choose.

Sure, i agree that having a nice job and being on your own will naturally draw more women, but the fact of the matter is that I know guys who are very successful at their jobs and make good money but still have women issues. I am helping a good friend of mine now i'd describe as someone like this; great salary, degree, job, but struggles with women. There are more 6 figure+ AFC's out there than you can shake a stick at.
 
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