In the past, in the heat of the battle, we all shed SOME emotion. Things get tense, it seems like someone will end it, and maybe you're just at the point where you despise each other more than your worst enemies. It's obvious you won't be together, now anyways.
Dating back as long as I remember, it always seemed like the worst day. That some new dude would be doing the things you did with that girl, AND more. Guys tend to remember WHAT we did right and use our past as some sort of resume to uphold our "goodness." I know I do. Most of us do. It's how we judge and determine our friends. "This guy is good, he's been there for me."
Which is also why it takes a long time for a friend to fall from our graces. Women aren't the same. They're quicker to judge. It's all about now. What someone has done this moment. And if you disregard her feelings, it appears you will do so repeatedly in the future.
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The newness of a breakup stings, but it's refreshing, too. New women. New opportunities. Newness all around. You're in pain, and then you wake up and it's gone. And you thank those friends who were there to keep your mind off the B.S. all the while trying to drag yourself through it to brighter days.
I always found these to be the most productive times, because no matter how bad it seemed to hurt, I trudged through and came out all the better. Most times a 'breakup' happens when we're not 'aware' of the relationship status, when we aren't 'aware' of our own happiness. Because we know, if she's unhappy, we're likely to be unhappy, and vice versa, so for those guys 'in-the-know,' the feeling of the relationship is obvious on the surface.
Even now though, if you're with someone you care for, it will sting, but to me, in a good. It's like a 'prick' of new life was injected into you, by which your adrenaline is on full blast, pushing you through whatever may seem tough. You go to parties you wouldn't normally go to just to get out and get your mind on new things. You hang out with old friends hoping to make new connections. You go on dates with girls for the sheer 'ammunition' to burn her with, or to meet new women you wouldn't otherwise meet. It's a triggering event that most men need, that don't value it enough.
Yes, it svcks when we part ways, or when a relationship declines. It's a shocker, most because you dont' foresee it. But then, like a snow ball gathering steam, speed, and snow, it picks up momentum. AND BAMMMM. You're out in the open, like "Mmitch being re-released into the wild." [Old School]
Fact is, when most relationships end, it was already way too late to have been ended. It's usually past the borne-on date and time has expired long ago. The breath of fresh air is always welcoming. And you're hopefully LESS needy as a result of the new, fresh wound. The pain normally makes the initial few months, EASIER to women, because you're cynical, hurt, trying to get yourself together.
[Can't say this always applies, much like "Swingers", but philosophically, if you've never taken yourself out of the game, then you're like a Tiger who doesn't change his stripes.]
I look back on any of those innumerable times with pride and growth and ask, what would I be, where would I be, if not for them???
Thoughts guys...on the after-break-up pain?
A-Unit
Dating back as long as I remember, it always seemed like the worst day. That some new dude would be doing the things you did with that girl, AND more. Guys tend to remember WHAT we did right and use our past as some sort of resume to uphold our "goodness." I know I do. Most of us do. It's how we judge and determine our friends. "This guy is good, he's been there for me."
Which is also why it takes a long time for a friend to fall from our graces. Women aren't the same. They're quicker to judge. It's all about now. What someone has done this moment. And if you disregard her feelings, it appears you will do so repeatedly in the future.
--------------------------------
The newness of a breakup stings, but it's refreshing, too. New women. New opportunities. Newness all around. You're in pain, and then you wake up and it's gone. And you thank those friends who were there to keep your mind off the B.S. all the while trying to drag yourself through it to brighter days.
I always found these to be the most productive times, because no matter how bad it seemed to hurt, I trudged through and came out all the better. Most times a 'breakup' happens when we're not 'aware' of the relationship status, when we aren't 'aware' of our own happiness. Because we know, if she's unhappy, we're likely to be unhappy, and vice versa, so for those guys 'in-the-know,' the feeling of the relationship is obvious on the surface.
Even now though, if you're with someone you care for, it will sting, but to me, in a good. It's like a 'prick' of new life was injected into you, by which your adrenaline is on full blast, pushing you through whatever may seem tough. You go to parties you wouldn't normally go to just to get out and get your mind on new things. You hang out with old friends hoping to make new connections. You go on dates with girls for the sheer 'ammunition' to burn her with, or to meet new women you wouldn't otherwise meet. It's a triggering event that most men need, that don't value it enough.
Yes, it svcks when we part ways, or when a relationship declines. It's a shocker, most because you dont' foresee it. But then, like a snow ball gathering steam, speed, and snow, it picks up momentum. AND BAMMMM. You're out in the open, like "Mmitch being re-released into the wild." [Old School]
Fact is, when most relationships end, it was already way too late to have been ended. It's usually past the borne-on date and time has expired long ago. The breath of fresh air is always welcoming. And you're hopefully LESS needy as a result of the new, fresh wound. The pain normally makes the initial few months, EASIER to women, because you're cynical, hurt, trying to get yourself together.
[Can't say this always applies, much like "Swingers", but philosophically, if you've never taken yourself out of the game, then you're like a Tiger who doesn't change his stripes.]
I look back on any of those innumerable times with pride and growth and ask, what would I be, where would I be, if not for them???
Thoughts guys...on the after-break-up pain?
A-Unit
) but what if??