Maximummax
Senior Don Juan
I see a cute girl on Facebook and she is single. Will sending a message or friend request work?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Thanks for the advice , I think you are correct . When they have fb they get tons of messages from dudesProbably not. Single does not mean she is single, and she gets a ton of messages anyway from strangers each day, every day. Try venues which are made specifically for dating, like pof, or something similar. But like I'm sure you understand this is not a definitive answer, there couldn't be one. It depends too many things.
I would try googling her nick or something and see what kind of hits come up. Perhaps she is on a dating site. Perhaps you get some hits on her hobbies or venues she hangs out at. Then you can adjust your approach to establish rapport and become a person of interest for her.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I had to chime in on this one...me and a female friend got to talking on this subject and she is HIGHLY protective of her friends list (even changed her privacy settings to keep them hidden) and totally against men who try to add or chat up her friends on her friends list. She even asked ME not to do it. She hates it when men, how she puts it "trolls" her friends list to chat up women.I noticed in her friend list that she was still friends with this little redhead I had an eye for back then, and she still looks good, so I just dropped her a message saying hello. No intent behind it. Just being friendly, sociable and funny.
I got her talking and engaged, laughing, etc. Then I told her I'll send her a "friend request". Having at least one mutual friend always helps too.
Remember, if you IM someone, it may wind up in another "inbox" per FB's stupid rules , so they'll never see that little RED notification, the only time they can get that RED notification is if you attempt to ADD them as a friend.That's why I said sending random friend requests to random women in an attempt to quickly set up a date is not an approach I would recommend, because I agree that it can be creepy.
Yeah, I recall some women would come to a social event with another female friend only to chat with each other and no one else. They'd shirk any man that would approach them. I'm like "Why even come?"You know what I find creepy? People on popular social networking sites who don't socialize, hide everything and complain about other people trying to be social. That's like going to a party, not talking to anyone and complaining about the loud music.
So he said, could be completely lying. lolI'd guess the only reason this guy stood a chance was because he was rich, had fame, and was attractive.
Well, at least they have a reason to contact her.Many work in the business she works in.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
On the internet...how does one know if a girl, is actually a girl? Could be a boy!!!![]()
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
lots of people are just collecting new FB friendsI have added women, they'd accept...but...when I attempt to IM them, they ignore it.