Does a relationship have to involve sex?

[sambwoy]

I have lowered my aspirations in life, including sex. I'm not really marketable to women and thus don't see myself being intimate with one- at any rate I don't know what they really want half the time. I think it was years of bullying and put downs that made me think like this. I have not quite grasped 'being a man' yet, and I'm 25.

I do hate it when young people ostracise 'unattractive' couples just because they are together they assume that they're doing it, because to them 'relationships' mean 'sex'. But firstly its none of their business, and secondly the couple could be interested in other things, just old fashioned hugs and kisses. And thirdly, they are obsessed with pop culture and media that they have cultivated their minds into expecting all couples to be 'hot'.

Those issues aside, does a relationship have to involve sex anyway?

 

[WorkingDJ]

Despite what the next posters after me will say, no, a relationship does not have to involve sex.

Keep your head up, and don't lower anything. Enjoy life.

 

[sambwoy]

My parents say I need to make friends first, and that I am doing now with all sorts. But honestly a girl would go for you if you really were a catch, wouldn't she? None of this 'the man has to make the first move'. Nothing to do with the fact that I haven't got a job, or a car, or not going to clubs. I don't know whether it was different for them, but women are getting hornier these days.

 

[MisterD]

Yes, in my opinion sex is necessary for a relationship. For a "friendship" no, for a "relationship", yes. If you're not having sex you are not in a relationship, you're in a friendship.

I think sex is just as important as every other factor in a relationship including communication, chemistry, etc.

 

[CasanovaFrankenstein]

I have lowered my aspirations in life, including sex. I'm not really marketable to women and thus don't see myself being intimate with one- at any rate I don't know what they really want half the time. I think it was years of bullying and put downs that made me think like this. I have not quite grasped 'being a man' yet, and I'm 25.

I do hate it when young people ostracise 'unattractive' couples just because they are together they assume that they're doing it, because to them 'relationships' mean 'sex'. But firstly its none of their business, and secondly the couple could be interested in other things, just old fashioned hugs and kisses. And thirdly, they are obsessed with pop culture and media that they have cultivated their minds into expecting all couples to be 'hot'.

Those issues aside, does a relationship have to involve sex anyway?

If sex isn't important to you, that's one thing. But it sounds more like you're giving up hope of having it. Never do that. My god, especially at 25!

 

[SoldMySoul]

Yes, in my opinion sex is necessary for a relationship. For a "friendship" no, for a "relationship", yes. If you're not having sex you are not in a relationship, you're in a friendship.

I think sex is just as important as every other factor in a relationship including communication, chemistry, etc.

I agree with MisterD!! You fvcking A right a relationship has to have sex.. Otherwise, I am not sticking around. Call me shallow if you like, but we as men, are hunters!!! I can be in an asexual relationship all by myself.

 

[floydb25]

It's what differentiates friendships from relationships, so yes. But its not the end all, be all. That aside, you have self-esteem and confidence issues that need to be worked on. Rationalizing why you're this way doesnt make it any better. It just provides a safety net to keep you stuck in your comfort zone. "Nobody likes me, so I'm not gonna bother". It's easy how you can convince yourself of something by not even trying. "Yep, I knew they wouldn't like me, even though I put in a weak effort." When you expect to fail - you will. Because, you don't even try. Just like when you think all women are *****es - that's all you attract (with the negativity, bitterness, anger, resentment, distrust, non-commitical, and moody behavior that brings them right in). You don't even realize as its happening, cause its subconscious behavior.

We all have past issues; don't use them as an excuse for why you're this way. Being bullied and getting rejected doesn't justify not trying; or worse, acting as a jerk. It just throws the blame elsewhere, and allows you to stick with the status quo. "Yeah, its not my fault... This is all I deserve". You always have a choice to improve or remain stuck.

Gotta man up, and have a fighter-like mindset. They can push you down, but they can't hurt you. Be strong. Don't dwell on bull**** that doesn't even matter anymore. You're not in high school; that **** is irrelevant now. Don't let it dictate who you are. People can believe whatever they want; their approval doesn't determine ****. You are a whole new person; maturing through experience. Focus on the now. Always. Don't think back to who you used to be, or how things were before. Nobody is bullying you now, are they? If they are, you need to work on that. If not, who cares? Things change. Just because they don't like you - doesn't mean no one will. And, that's key. Everyone is different. You don't know for a fact that nobody likes you.

People are going to be repelled by this kind of attitude, so eliminate the negative, pessemistic, woe is me mindset. It's gonna show big time in your interactions with others. Which, is just gonna keep the cycle going and going. Nobody likes a downer - except for crazy people.

 

[Leporello]

not with that attitude, OP.

 

[bigneil]

Of course you have to have sex. A relationship is a form of mating. If you are not giving her regular orgasms you will lose her - period.

 

[corrector]

A relationship doesn't have to involve sex if the couple is socially conservative and have traditional "no sex before marriage" values. Even if there is a compromise going on, it has to be a dead serious relationship where there is an engagement and a plan to marry within six months.

Since most people on here are liberals then, like everything "liberal" that is what they will say. Think you had a conservative running, Santorum, that wanted to criminalise porn. He went out of the race.

An ugly couple, or mis-matched couple (i.e. the woman is way more uglier, or deficient than you are and is attracting attention) may attract more attention then if you stay by yourself. So, if you are friends with an ugly woman and go out with her in public, then people may think you are in a relationship with her and doing it with her. It's better to remain single if you are not happy with how your partner looks like. DO NOT TELL PEOPLE YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN UGLY WOMAN IF YOU ARE HER FRIEND. That way they won't believe you are having sex with her.

 

[bigneil]

Since most people on here are liberals then, like everything "liberal" that is what they will say. Think you had a conservative running, Santorum, that wanted to criminalise porn. He went out of the race.

Please. You need a magnifying glass to see any difference between the left and right. Both sides are pro-Federal Reserve, pro-War, pro-Torture, pro-TSA, pro-Globalization, pro-Vaccine Fascists. At 36 you should know better than to push the false left-right paradigm.

 

[Trump]

Nothing to do with the fact that I haven't got a job, or a car, or not going to clubs. I don't know whether it was different for them, but women are getting hornier these days.

You have to be the type of guy you want your daughter to marry, and I doubt the above is it. If your daughter came home and said 'dad I want to marry a guy with no job, no car, and who thinks relationship doesn't involve sex", would you give your blessing?

Regarding the bullying, people don't understand that bullying is a part of life. It happens all the time, in school, in business, in life, between countries. If its physical, thats one thing, but if it's mental, have to fight thru it or you'll be stuck in neutral forever.

The world isn't going to stop to take care of you, or give you a girl, or entertain you. You have to do it for yourself.

 

[TonyBaloney]

If your finding sex difficult, try viagara, its well worth it. I always have one ready on a night out in case I get lucky but am too drunk too perform.

If its a newly found philosophy - it wont last for long.

If your are handicapped, then see what your doctors can do.....

If its a woman trying to tell you that a relationship can do without, agree, but keep f ucking other women.

Sex is the most amazing thing ever!!!!!!! Dont give it up!!!!!!!!