Does a DJ sit through lame date's?

[ManOMan]

I read somewhere that if a date is not going to well, you should just call it a night and get up and leave

I was on a date last night with a HB, and I senses low IL (she was slumping over like she was bored, and was giving me short answers to my questions, and rarely asked anything about me)

although she was a HB 8, I really didnt care to kiss her ass and she wasnt funny (a prerequisite for me) and had the personality of a lemon) and was TRULY boring ME

she even tried to oneup me a few times by bragging about all the exotic places she's visited and trying to show how "cultured" she was and started getting testy when I said "SO you've been to Paris? are french people as rude to Americans as I hear?"

which she said "Have you ever been to PAris? then How would you know if they are rude??"

But one thing I learned from this site was dont EVER let a woman's good looks immediately bring out your AFC tendencies and lose site of other qualities you look for in a woman.

This girl probably had 1000's of men fawn all over her and be nice to her just because of her looks alone, but I wasnt having any of that.

She will probably never call me again, but I would rather never seeing her again vs having no dignity/pride to NEXT a girl who had great looks but no personality.

any one else ever experience this?

 

[Crotch Sniffer]

Have you ever been to PAris? then How would you know if they are rude??"

Friendly Response (if she is worth it)
-------
You: Nah, I have never been, but I would love to some day. My friends tell me the French are rude though, and I am curious to hear about your experiences. What was it like in Paris? (Shut up and listen, since all girls love to talk about themselves. Get her to describe the thrills of travel and connect with her adventurous spirit)


Eject Response (if she is a total biatch)
-------
Hmm, I see that the rudeness is contagious! Dont get your panties in a wad hun, it was just an honest question! You know I really dont have time for upight people so if you will excuse me...(eject)

I usually eject on boring girls personally. Life is too short to spend a single second with a dull HB who thinks she is the sh*t.

 

[uniassign]

Dude,

It is YOUR JOB to make it fun and interesting. Coffee/drinks dates are NOT fun and interesting.

No wonder she was bored. Think of interesting things to do with a chick, especially when she is HOT because every knob on this planet would take her for a DRINK.

However, if she was truely boring, then I would proceed to BUST her for being boring, then tell her interesting and funny stories.

 

[Halo]

I am of a slightly different opinion. This is a two-way street. If she has the personality of a lemon despite you trying to keep the conversation going, then you have every right to forget about her. Where does it say the man has to do ALL the work of making a date interesting? You either hit it off or you don't.

Looks are only part of the equation. Me personally? I'll take a smart, engaging 7 over a boring 10 any day.

 

[ManOMan]

well see the date was a last minute thing..it was sunday evening, and she had High IL to meet.

So since it was getting late and we both had to work I asked if she wanted to meet for a couple drinks at 9pm, so we sat there for like 1.5 hrs talking

normally I go on action dates, but I just wanted to get this one out of the way, because we had been chatting for like 1 month

TRUST me, this girl was high maintenance and you could tell AFC's always try to go out of their way to show her a good time, and I tried my best, yet she was slumped up on the bar as if she was bored (what Kinda chick does that??)

 

[Halo]

The only pertinent question is this: did YOU have a good time with her?

Your future course of action with her will be made clear with an honest answer to that question. Sounds like you didn't, in which case you should have no problem writing her off. Who cares if she's hot?

 

[seulaxplaya]

im not going to read ur post but a true dj doesnt have lame dates. If they are lame u unlame them. (I know thats not a word)

 

[ManOMan]

You are right Halo

I didnt have a good time with her, and was just wondering what I might do better next time to improve my game

Its no big loss to me, but sometimes in situations like these you begin to doubt you even have game, and that is my problem

One thing I DID learn is WHEN you go on a date from the internet, make sure you READ her likes/dislikes, and be prepared to relate to those things.

She was one of those "world traveler" types, and I have never even been out of the USA. And thats all she kept talking about was her travel experiences. YAWN

 

[wheelin&dealin]

I normally limit first dates to about 1 - 2 hours anyways. So, if the dates aren't going well then I'll cut it short.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by uniassign
Dude,

It is YOUR JOB to make it fun and interesting. Coffee/drinks dates are NOT fun and interesting.

.

LOL, You could NOT BE more wrong. Absolutely WRONG.
Man,
a date usually is boring becuase of one thing - Low IL. If a girl has low IL in you, you could take her on the best date in the world, have the most interesting convo/questions/answers in the world - yet, she won't like you.

Many people here think you can mistakenly "Win" attraction by being interesting, witty, and going on adventurous dates. Im here to tell you that kind of thinking is FLAT OUT IGNORANT. A girls IL in you is set from the first 5 minutes, if less. You could be on the most lamest date in the world, at freakin mcdonalds, but if she has high IL in you, thats all you possibly need.

Girls that really like you and have high IL won't care were you take them. they won't care how much you spend on them. They don't have to be "Won" over by interesting convo, witty combacks, kino, etc. A GIRL WITH HIGH IL DOES NOT NEED TO BE IMPRESSED. If a girl likes you, she will find whatever your going, doing and talking about interesting.

It is NOT your job to be interesting or fun. Either a girl likes you or she doesn't. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN OVER A LOW IL GIRL. Likewise, if IL is high, the date will go smooth and fun regardless of where ya go and what you do. And absolutely, if the date is going bad and you sense low IL, just cut it short immediately.

 

[Halo]

myfriendblu is totally right. You cannot make a girl interested through sophistry or tricks. She has to be attracted to you. I've had some very fun dates at run-of-the-mill places simply because there was a lot of mutual attraction. On the contrary, I've been on some very stale "action dates" when there was no chemistry.

This doesn't mean you can't improve yourself (that's why we're all here) but don't expect to learn some general formula for making any girl anywhere fall in love with you on the spot. To put it another way, if you're having to bend over backwards to make a girl like you, then it's not worth the effort.

I too went through a phase where I had a string of stale dates and figured there was something wrong with me, but the reality is that not every girl will like you. Only experience will teach you that lesson.

Another piece of advice: regardless of how physically attractive a girl is, if you find her dull do you really want to be with her? Sure you can get a roll in the hay from it (if that's what you want, go for it), but from my perspective if all I can do is look at her, there's no fun or excitement.

 

[uniassign]

Man,
a date usually is boring becuase of one thing - Low IL. If a girl has low IL in you, you could take her on the best date in the world, have the most interesting convo/questions/answers in the world - yet, she won't like you.

Not exactly. The chick went out with the guy for a REASON. If she is NOT INTERESTED, she would not have answered his calls, she would have been "busy", she would have flaked.

The fact that she TURNED UP and INVESTED the time with him meant that she was interested.

It doesn't matter anyway, the fact is that he blew it with her with a lame get together.

You could be on the most lamest date in the world, at freakin mcdonalds, but if she has high IL in you, thats all you possibly need.

Agreed with that.

Many people here think you can mistakenly "Win" attraction by being interesting, witty, and going on adventurous dates.

IMO that's just a way of shifting the onus onto something else. Personally if I failed to attract a chick, then it is something that *I* have done wrong. It matters not that the chick is taken, or whatever, all chicks are capable of cheating if given the right emotional environment.

When a chick decides to meet you after given you her phone number, she is AT LEASE neutral to you - that she SEES A POSSIBILITY of sleeping with you (attraction). The date is the PERFECT OPPORTUNITY for you to AMP up that ATTRACTION so that the question in her mind shifts from "Would I sleep with him" to "WHEN will I sleep with him".

Think about it, would you go out on a date with a chick if you don't see any POSSIBILITY of sleeping with her?

 

[cyo72]

I've had the same thing happen before. I let the night go and just keep my game going.

If I really disgusted by her personality, then I leave myself in control.

I'll tell her it was fun and I'll give you a call or something along those lines....

but of course, I will never call.

Who knows if this works, but do whatever you can do just be the one who halts this relationship, not her.

 

[Walden]

Those chicks are great they're the ones you experiment your Djing style on.

(For example the shared-desert-kino-flirt move you think might work).

 

[Walden]

It didn't BTW.

 

[violator]

I have to agree with myfriendblue on this one based on personal experience.

Quite simply, this girl acted the way she did because of:

1) Shyness/low self esteem: Sometimes women act reserved and disinterested because of shyness and low self esteem issues. She may like you, but just does not show it. However, shy girls don't act rude or sarcastic on a date.

-or-

2) Low IL: She just is not attracted to you or there is no chemistry


I believe it was #2 and the date was "lame" because the girl did not feel sufficient attraction and it showed. Another sign of low IL was the fact that this girl acted bytchy and sarcastic especially with regard to the Paris discussion. Any time a girl taints the discussion with sarcasm, it is a bad sign because that last thing a high IL girl wants to do is give a bad first impression, and this girl did just that: She is a bytch.

I disagree with unassign. Just because a girl invests time to go out with you does not mean she has any interest in you. It can be because of a multitude of reasons most likely being that she is bored and has nothing else better to do.

 

[Pap]

Violator is right on. She probably was LSE...or she might have been locked-up...

My intuition is that is was a combination of both though because of the way you describe her...[here's some ideas that I've been talking to my wing TD about LOCKUP and UNLOCKING:]

LOCKUP:

Chick is unresponsive. Ask questions, she says "I
don't know" or "no", or any blowoff answer. She holds
tense shoulders, and if you say "high-5" or try to
physically displace her in any way whatsoever, she
says the words "I'm scared / you're scaring me / etc".
This does NOT mean she is physically afraid. This is
like a chick saying "not yet" when you go to kiss her
too early in the night. She's JUST saying "I'm not at
buying temperature yet". A chick who is locked up
cannot even move or give a proper answer for a million
dollars. She is locked up. Causes of lockup can be
that she sees her friend hitting buying temperature
for you too quickly, and she doesn't like it, or that
you have conveyed too much eagerness too early.


UNLOCKED:

She is now OPEN to being gamed. Girls KNOW what you're
doing when you run material. They may not know its
pre-canned, but they know what it means when you tease
them - its SEXUAL COMMUNICATION and they know what's
up. If a chick is locked up, she isn't even OPEN to
this sort of communication. Once unlocked, you can now
begin gaming.

SIGNS of chick being unlocked - KINO TESTS. Hold out
your palms upwards. If she puts her hands there,
squeeze them. If she squeezes back, she's unlocked for
sure. Likewise, tap her, if she taps back playfully,
she's unlocked and sexually engaged probably.


BUYING TEMPERATURE LEVELS:

-enough for her to sit there while you game her
-enough to show an IOI like a giggle
-enough to show an IOI and kino you
-enough to show alot of IOIs and ask you questions
-enough for you to venue change her
-enough for you to kino HER, and give her IOIs, and
she still likes it (usually after qualification phase,
because she now feels she EARNED your attention,
rather than you just want to **** her like every other
guy on the planet)
-enough for you to get physical with her
-enough for you to **** her
As EACH Buying Temperature increase, the chick will
usually **** TEST you, as a way of TRYING to throw
herself OUT OF STATE. She **** tests by doing things
that if you react too seriously, she'll get upset and
therefore be thrown out of state. By passing ****
tests, Buying Temperature is AMPLIFIED. This is like
when Eddy (whitedragonPUA) posted about his HBRugby
Lay report. She kept punching him all night. After he
laid her, he asked her why. She said "I just thought
you'd go away"... She knew she was hitting buying
temperature, and didn't want to succumb to it so she
**** tested by hitting him and hoped that he would
back off and she would come down. Think back to when
you tried to kiss a girl on a date, and she said "NOT
YET". She doesn't mean NO. She ONLY means "I'm not at
buying temperature yet.. Give me more gaming".
Likewise, you try to venue change a girl, and she says
"No. But I still want to talk to you". You keep gaming
her, and a few minutes later you change venues. This
was because you tried to ESCALATE PRIOR TO ATTAINING
THE RIGHT LEVEL OF BUYING TEMPERATURE.

There are many examples of chicks trying to throw
themselves out of state when hitting buying
temperature, but then by passing **** tests it is
actually amplified: Chick feels herself getting horny.
HB: "You're a player". PUA: "Yeah.. so what is it that
turns you on so much about players anyway" (Response
works firstly because you didn't disagree, so she
can't get mad for you lying to her and break her own
state, and secondly because you say something ****Y,
which hits her emotionally, and therefore raises
buying temperature)

EG: Chick says "we shouldn't be doing this"... PUA
responds "yeah, we shouldn't be doing this" but KEEPS
going.

In both cases, the chick feels her buying temperature
increasing unusually rapidly (because of the PUA
skillset), and tries to stop what's happening.

When Buying Temperature is hit too quickly, it is
called FRYING OUT HER CIRCUITS. This is like when
chicks giggle uncontrollably and run away from you
even though they like you, or when a chick is at a
rock concert and starts screaming and crying when the
rockstar comes out. She has hit buying temperature so
fast, her circuits fry out and she freaks.

"Routine Outcome Dependence" is a phenomena where
you're too HOOKED on seeing chicks increasing buying
temperature. EG: "Calling a chick a powerpuff girl
will make her giggle"... So when a chick isn't
giggling, you try to FORCE it by calling her a
Powerpuff girl. EXCEPT, she KNOWS that not normal to
say that to a chick whose all serious, so knows
something is up (this is actually the 26th 'trying too
hard to qualify' thing I guess - routine outcome
dependence). The SAME goes for when she's all serious,
and you try TOO HARD to seem happy and fun. She KNOWS
that you're doing it to get with her, and it doesn't
make sense. That does NOT mean state match. It just
means MODERATE and don't appear PHONEY. Most Buying
Temperature tools are to be used to AMP a state that
you see building. She starts giggling a BIT, and you
call her a powerpuff girl, and now she giggles a LOT.
If she's not giggling AT ALL, then maybe it was the
wrong time. She DETECTS that you were consciously
TRYING to increase her buying temperature, and blows
you off. Field experience is KING, nobody is above it.
Field experience helps us to develop an INTUITION of
WHERE and WHEN to use the particular material.


TO INCREASE BUYING TEMPERATURE:

(First, remember that there are PRECONDITIONS to a
girl even being OPEN to you start to affect her this
way. For a set of HB10s, they often may not even ALLOW
themselves to be affected by your game, unless you
have social proof or status somehow.. Likewise, even
for a lesser HB7, if you are smelly and fat and gross,
she won't be open to it, even if what you're doing is
proper tight game)

--Pump them through emotions rapidly.. (I personally
use a detailed system of building routines that
increase buying temperature.. basically, routines hit
emotions through languaging or demonstration.. not
hard.. this way I can build routines on the fly and
not rely on canned material - infinite routines via
proper understanding or structure and basic
creativity) ---

THINK MAKEUP SEX: How good is makeup sex compared to
normal sex? WHY? Because you've been pumped through so
many emotions. This is what NORMAL sex is like for
chicks - hence they like badboys, they like skydiving
and sex in exciting places, they like makeup sex, etc
etc..

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by uniassign
[Not exactly. The chick went out with the guy for a REASON. If she is NOT INTERESTED, she would not have answered his calls, she would have been "busy", she would have flaked.

Not necessarily,
Girls go on dates with guys ALL THE TIME even with little or no attraction in them at all. She doesn't NEED to be interested. She will go on the date just for kicks, she is board, free dinner, to boost her fragile ego, etc. etc. Happens all the time. Just because a girl agrees to a date doesn't mea anything. You could be getting set up hook line and sinker for the LJBF zone.

 

[ManOMan]

Just as an FYI,

this girl picked me from match.com, and through email kept saying how attractive and "hot" I was. When I wouldnt email her she would email me.

But on the phone, it was a completely different ball game. She was VERY serious, rarely laughed at anything, and sounded like she was bummed out or hung over.

although she was VERY eager to meet, her IL though EMAIL was inconsistent with her IL on the Phone or in person.

we were sitting side by side at the bar so I could initiate KINO, she had good body language (facing me, with body turned towards me)

but again her lack of dialogue and interest in my hobbies indicated low IL

I must admit, I goofed and was sprouting off random questions just to get her talking, but I didnt go into finding out her values, and trying to be the "guy", nor did I qualify her, but was more qualifying myself (BAD MOVE)

but live and learn!

 

[1hepcat]

There's probably a reason why she was looking on match.com. If she rates an 8 she shouldn't have any trouble meeting guys in person. She's probably got lots of AFCs that walk up to her, hoping to get a sniff of her panties. so I'm guessing there's something wrong with her personality wise.

I'm going to have to agree with the guys who say if she's no fun she has low interest. Girls that like you are always fun; it doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing. They carry on good conversation, are giggly, perky, and smile.

But at the same time if she likes you and then you take her out and turn into an AFC then she will lose interest. It's happened to me. In this case it looks like the chick was a flake and it would have turned out this way no matter what you did.