Doers and Downers

[logicallefty]

Been having a lot of conversations with my daughter lately about people. It started when she began telling me that she thinks a teacher she has (mid 30s HB 1 heifer) doesn't like her and plays favorites against her. Based on what my daughter said, I believe her. So I started having her look for specific things the teacher did, said, etc, and report back to me. In process of talking it out I came up with this list of trying to make the most basic comparisons with people. Not saying this is a black and white thing, but in general it applies pretty well. I just want my daughter, 12yo now, to grow up and not have to take until her late 30s like I did to finally understand people fully..

Decided rather than write these down in a notebook I'd just write them here and see if others relate or have more to add:

Doers use lots of tools. Downers use phones to call doers.

Doers admit fault. Downers blame others.

Doers fix problems. Downers deflect them.

Doers speak factually. Downers speak emotionally.

Doers know who is smarter than they. Downers think they are smartest of all.

Doers work hard. Downers hardly work.

Doers welcome criticism. Downers call it harassment.

Doers make written records. Downers leave no record.

Doers are loyal to everyone. Downers are loyal to themselves.

Doers run towards hard work. Downers hide from it.

Doers get jobs for what they know. Downers get jobs for who they know.

Doers call a friend. Downers call the police.

Doers can stand in the shoes of others. Downers know only their own.

Doers call welfare "welfare". Downers call it their "paycheck".

Doers can be convicted felons. Downers can be the Judge who convicted them.

Doers can be janitors at school. Downers can be the teachers.

Doers are more action than conversation. Downers are more conversation than action.

 

[speed dawg]

Good stuff. I am looking forward to teaching my kids these things too, essentially the end game is to not let anyone get you down. Turn these 'downers' games back onto them. Funny how, by befriending a 'downer' and actually investing a little time in them, you can get them working FOR you very quickly. Many would choose to try and fight them at their own game or give them a reaction, and they would lose.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I think the lesson here is for her to have the self-confidence to be able to shrug off the opinions of people who don't like her, even when that person is in a position of authority.