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Do Your Friends Hold You Back?

jaymbrs

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My close friends are like family to me. So their opinions mean a lot. However there are some instances where I feel their influence on the women I date have weighed too much. To the point where I change my perspective on the woman or do stuff I probably wouldn’t do without their input. Now most of them are married to women I consider subpar and some downright hideous and I now think their opinions on women shouldn’t mean **** if they’re settling for who they’ve settled with. Looking back I have had some worthwhile women and broke it off with some of them because of my friends finding their flaws and blowing them up.

I’m now on my own in a new city and feel my relationships with women have improved. Anyone else relate?
 
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sosousage

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friends are biggest meme

they roasted your average girl and settled with some fat pigs?
LOL


well my life improved since i kicked some friendsaway but i still live with regret of how many years i wasted. (its better now tho)


friends are good addition to your life u just shouldnt take them seriously
 

GrowingPains

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Have you considered that the problem is not with them but with you? Sure a friend can be a negative influence, but thats it. They can't do the actual actions for you. At the end of the day, it's all your doing. You choose to let them influence you.

The weird thing is that they so strongly influenced your relationships because you (possibly) sought their approval. Yet when the script was flipped, they didn't give a damn about your approval. So much so that they married women whom you consider subpar and downright hideous.

Right now, you're in a new environment. So you're not able to give in to your ways of seeking their approval. Therefore it probably doesn't seem like much of an issue... Because it can't be until you find new people to fill their place. But I think it's worth considering that you need to address and closely monitor that desire to please others so much that it has a negative affect on you.
 
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jaymbrs

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Have you considered that the problem is not with them but with you? Sure a friend can be a negative influence, but thats it. They can't do the actual actions for you. At the end of the day, it's all your doing. You choose to let them influence you.

The weird thing is that they so strongly influenced your relationships because you (possibly) sought their approval. Yet when the script was flipped, they didn't give a damn about your approval. So much so that they married women whom you consider subpart and downright hideous.

Right now, you're in a new environment. So you're not able to give in to your ways of seeking their approval. Therefore it probably doesn't seem like much of an issue... Because it can't be until you find new people to fill their place. But I think it's worth considering that you need to address and closely monitor that desire to please others so much that it has a negative affect on you.
Well like I said, I consider my close friends like family so who wouldn’t want their family’s approval? I can see what you’re saying and maybe I did put too much emphasis on their feedback. But the funny thing though is they’re not happy in their relationships. Maybe 1 of them is but the rest aren’t. So maybe they could’ve been better off taking their own advice. Who knows man.
 

GrowingPains

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Well like I said, I consider my close friends like family so who wouldn’t want their family’s approval? I can see what you’re saying and maybe I did put too much emphasis on their feedback. But the funny thing though is they’re not happy in their relationships. Maybe 1 of them is but the rest aren’t. So maybe they could’ve been better off taking their own advice. Who knows man.
I seek my family's support, not their approval.

No one can agree with you 100% of the time. If they do, you should be asking yourself what they want from you.

As long as your acts efforts malicious or harmful then your family should support them. Whether they agree with each decision is trivial. Sure you may want them to agree and approve, but it doesn't matter whether they do or don't.
 
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