"Do You Want Something That Lasts?" article

[Dash Riprock]

I read this article 3x and STILL don't get it. It is written by a woman, basically she says:

-Women are not attracted to NICE guys (true)
-But, she says you cannot have something lasting w/o being NICE (but you weren't attracted to the NICE guy, so how can it last if he's...NICE?)

Her quote:

That is, I've never chosen a man because he's nice. Nice is not something that evokes attraction, pity sometimes, but not that "Damn, I'd like to crawl in your lap and take off my shirt RIGHT NOW" reaction that everyone craves.

Then she says:

I've been with men who attract me but aren't nice. When they change their minds and want the relationship to go to the next level I always flee.

LOL...

Then she closes with:

Nice will not attract someone to you. But you won't be able to keep them if you aren't.

Ok, so you'll start dating someone even if you're NOT attracted to them, right? Wrong. BUT, you just said you can't stay with someone if they're NOT nice, but earlier you said you flee when they are...LOL

LOL, I think she forgot to take her Prozac the day she wrote this. It's so full of contradictions in just a few words I'm surprised it's even in the articles list.

I know where she's going with the story; "Nice guys don't win" -- we all know this, but the way she comes off as talking out of both sides of her mouth is so "Woman" it's laughable.

All you need is:

1-Confidence
2-(Self) Control
3-CHALLENGE

'nuff said.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

All you need is:

1-Confidence
2-(Self) Control
3-CHALLENGE

'nuff said.

Someone's been reading Doc Love's System....

 

[Dash Riprock]

LOL...

Yeah, I give Doc credit for the Three C’s – it had a lot to do with breaking me out of the AFC Kingdom years ago

I believe in *most* of what Doc Love preaches with some variance. One thing is he doesn't go into c&f too much--which really works for me.

But, he's got the Three C's right on--if a guy can remember just those three words any time he is with his chick, he'll be ahead of 99% of all dudes and keep her interested for the long haul.

I think the BEST thing to do is to read as much as you can, cherry pick the best of the best, try it out, and then blend it in with your own personality. This took years for me to master, but now I can "pitch" like Roger Clemens and "hit" like A-Rod.

Practice makes (almost) perfect.

Take the "Jordan" or "Payton" Approach.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I read the System a few years ago and it provided the cornerstone in my ability to qualify women. People don't give him enough credit but his findings are the best for determining if a woman is long term material.

 

[Dash Riprock]

People don't give him enough credit but his findings are the best for determining if a woman is long term material.

Agree 100%.

 

[Interceptor]

Doesn't she just mean that NICE isn't what attracts her in the first place, but...nice is what keeps her there???

Look, pick some guy that you know is an AFC typical NICE guy with no 'nads and knows nothing about women.
Now picture a guy like Sean Connery in his prime as James Bond.

The average woman is probably going to be attracted to the James Bond personality, and not attracted to "Nice Guy".

For long term sex and/or dating, the smart woman is not going to choose either.

The nice guy is not sexual or masculine, and is socially awkward.
James Bond is suave, wordly, and ultra masculine, but doesn't give a sh*t about women or their feelings.
Neither is good mating material.

Do you have exceptions to this??
Sure, of course.

But we're trying to get the general idea across.

Woman want sexuality, confidence, and leadership....all Masculine traits.
She wants you to be REAL. That's what she wants when she says she wants "a REAL Man."
There's a higher chance of long term success with this type of Man.
And there's more incentive for her to stick around for this type of guy.

And again, as we all know, the term "Nice" is used for a few different things for women, as they see it in their context.
But for this purpose, the author described NICE as:

Supplicating, non masculine, overly eager, needy, cheesy and corny, inexperienced with women, and dorky.

And described another version of NICE as:

Thoughtful, patient, forgiving, tolerant, fair, non judgemental,not overbearing,easy to talk to, and generally FUN to be around.

Meaning, don't be a drag. Keep her interest. Don't be a bore.

These are qualities she (smart, good women who have values, and their head screwed on straight) wants for long term relationships.
You wouldn't want to stick around for some air headed, b*tch, who talks down to you, orders you around, witholds sex, uses you, takes your money, and generally treats you like sh*t, would you?

So the same idea goes for women.

 

[sexybeast]

This is a great forum, but this whole "nice guy" thing is confusing a lot of guys. It really is.

 

[Interceptor]

With the gazillion plus posts about the "Nice Guy" Syndrome, you would think much of that would be already worked out in their heads.
If you can, try to imagine the Nice Guy syndrome as TOO Much of a "good thing".
In other words, not just "sweet", but sickly sweet, as in Too much.
It's great to call her every now and then. But don't call her every hour on the hour.
It's great to be able to share your feelings with her, but don't dump every little incident in your life on her.
It's great to have someone to accompany you on daily activities, but don't smother her by being with her 24/7.
It's great to compliment her, and tell her she's beautiful etc, but don't compliment her every second of the day.
It's great to be appreciative of her, and her love and affection, but don't be overly grateful to the point it looks like she took pity on you.


IN other words, don't OVERDO the Nice things.

 

[LeComteDeMonteCristo]

What is so difficult to understand? She says that 'niceness' is not something that attracts her, but is not necessarily that it is unattractive to her.

 

[Dash Riprock]

That is, I've never chosen a man because he's nice. Nice is not something that evokes attraction, pity sometimes, but not that "Damn, I'd like to crawl in your lap and take off my shirt RIGHT NOW" reaction that everyone craves.

Nice will not attract someone to you. But you won't be able to keep them if you aren't.

LeComteDeMonteCristo: RE: your post, see the above quotes.

She just wrote the article poorly and contradicted herself, I thought it was kind of funny because it was total "woman-speak" -- lol.

I watched a video the other day on DocLove.com where he's interviewing hot babes on Venice Beach. He asks 2 chicks, "Do you like when a man opens up about his feelings, talks about the relationship, etc.?" They’re like, "Yeah, we really like that, that's sooooo honest and sweet, yada, yada." Then he asks, "Well, what about MYSTERY then? Don’t women like mysterious, intriguing guys?" The girls are like, "Yeah, yeah, we like that too!" Doc Love says, “Well you can’t have both!” So one pipes up and says, “Well, I don’t need mystery. I like when a guy opens up and tells me all about himself upfront.” Yeah, THAT’LL hold your interest...

What the writer IS getting at is "balance" where you need to be attractive and use "qualities" of niceness w/o being an AFC or the consummate NICE GUY throughout the relationship.

The article should have been called Balance is Key, The Balancing Act, etc--AND posted on Cosmo.com.

Actually, I think NICE GUY SYNDROME is one of the easiest Fatal Flaws to identify and overcome for many guys if they take an honest look at themselves and look where things have gone wrong.

 

[penkitten]

blah!!!
how do i explain that sometimes people don't know what words to pick?

let's see if i can help you grasp what the chick in the article said ..
"i am only attracted to bad boys, but in order to stay in a relationship with one, he would have to let me put my foot down and like it and that never happens so that is why i am single...but let me say it in a way that makes me look like it is all my decision to end things"

when she really meant to say something more like this :
"i am attracted to bad boys, but i wish i could find one that turned out to also be a great guy, instead of being an a$$hole all the time to me. that would keep me interested... part bad, part sweet

 

[Interceptor]

LOL @ Pen!
Good one!

:crackup:




:

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

blah!!!
how do i explain that sometimes people don't know what words to pick?

let's see if i can help you grasp what the chick in the article said ..
"i am only attracted to bad boys, but in order to stay in a relationship with one, he would have to let me put my foot down and like it and that never happens so that is why i am single...but let me say it in a way that makes me look like it is all my decision to end things"

when she really meant to say something more like this :
"i am attracted to bad boys, but i wish i could find one that turned out to also be a great guy, instead of being an a$$hole all the time to me. that would keep me interested... part bad, part sweet

Kinda like guys who want a virgin who's a wh0re in bed...

 

[penkitten]

Kinda like guys who want a virgin who's a wh0re in bed...

YES !!!

 

[typical]

But ahem excuse me most girls are *****s in bed, you just have to get them to unwind and relax.

 

[LeComteDeMonteCristo]

LeComteDeMonteCristo: RE: your post, see the above quotes.

She just wrote the article poorly and contradicted herself, I thought it was kind of funny because it was total "woman-speak" -- lol.

There is no contradiction. She does not say that niceness is unattractive to her. She is saying that in terms of initial attraction, niceness is a neutral quality but as far as maintaining a successful relationship goes, it is an essential quality. Your logic is flawed if you see any contradiction here.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

But ahem excuse me most girls are *****s in bed, you just have to get them to unwind and relax.

Virgins?

 

[Sandow]

It's sort of a paradox. being nice doesn't attract, but once you attract, there are times when you need to be nice.

It's like being in a relationship, you weren't nice when you attracted her. But now that ur in a relationship, being nice sparingly will help ur relationship.