"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Do you trust me?

Nutz

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A few questions about how others deal with this crap:

A) I seem to remember this evoking a logical fallacy. If so, which one?

B) How do you guys respond to this?

C) What does it really mean?


To me this is just like politicians justifying intrusive laws and using "if you have nothing to hide..." as an excuse for letting it happen.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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The Comeback Kid

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Nutz said:
A few questions about how others deal with this crap:

A) I seem to remember this evoking a logical fallacy. If so, which one?

B) How do you guys respond to this?

C) What does it really mean?


To me this is just like politicians justifying intrusive laws and using "if you have nothing to hide..." as an excuse for letting it happen.
I'm guessing this would be a girl asking you the question. My thoughts:

A.) I didn't do all that great in philosophy lol, I'm not sure this is a real fallacy though. A fallacy is an argument someone makes, this is simply a question.

B.) Depends how well I know the girl. It takes me awhile to trust someone anyway, but if I've known her a long time, we get along, we know each other, etc., I'm more likely to trust her. However, if there are questionably things that put this trust into question, I get suspicious. If a girl asks me if she trusts me in general, I'm thinking something ambiguous but a little humorous would work here (unless something has already happened, like she cheated on you).

C.) It means something bad is about to happen...that's possible atleast. If it's coming out of the blue, then this could very well be the case. I don't really know why she'd ask this unless something was about to be put into question.
 

Nutz

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The fallacy aspect is based on the context. I've seen too many cases of men having red flags go up because something was amiss and it turned out the woman was messing around behind his back. In nearly ever instance the woman at one point tried to use the "trust card" to continue or facilitate the infidelity.


Also, I meant this as a relationship management kinda thing. Your gf or wife wants to go out with an old friend who for some reason just popped back into her life, or is some guy she works with. She swears he's "just a friend". For whatever reason you feel uneasy about the proposition. Your instincts kick in and red flags begin to go up. You say you don't feel comfortable with it and ask how she'd feel if you started hanging out with women she doesn't know. She gives you the song and dance, asks "don't you trust me?" and backs you into a relationship corner. You either let her go or have a big blowout and possibly goes out anyway. When they drop the "trust card" what's the best way to deal with it in that context? I've heard some great stuff in the past, but I didn't write any of it down and I have a friend who's about to get and need some advice asap. It's basically a critical moment in a relationship because if you don't lay down the gauntlet they're very likely to cheat, whether by "accident" (got drunk and "it just happened) or by design doesn't matter. If you stand up to her properly you can really diminish the odds of something happening.

This is usually something guys who are in relationships with younger spoiled little *****es get. They want to bang a bunch of guys or feel they're missing out so they may want to go out with their single girlfriends to the clubs. It's part of the self-delusion and crap woman do. I've found you have to squash that sorta thing if you don't want her "accidentally" sitting on some other guy's c0ck. By putting your foot down and preventing them from being in dubious situations to begin with, you can really mitigate the odds of something happening.
 
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