Do You Thrive more Off of Positive, or Negative Motivation?

[Production6257]

This is something that I have been thinking a lot about lately. Personally, I tend to thrive off of the negative. For instance, this one thing that happened 3 years ago when I was in high school and still motivates me to this day: Me and a couple friends were meeting some girls at a pool. I am a naturally skinny person and at the time I was around 6 feet tall and like 135 pounds. I was insecure about my body and my one friend, Todd, knew it. Well there was one girl that we all had a crush on, and to my dismay she was all over Todd. He was giving her a piggy-back ride all around the pool and it was obvious who she wanted out of all of us. Well I stepped out of the pool and was standing there, and Todd (who can be a HUGE self-centered a$$hole) said, "Doesn't 'hamma' look like one of those starving kids from Africa that they show on the T.V ads?" I can't even begin to explain how much this has motivated me over the years. The image of the girl I desired on my friend's back and him uttering that line is forever ingrained in my head. Every time I work out and am on those last reps, I think of Todd and what he said that day. Another quick Todd story is when we were talking about girls that we liked at school and I mentioned someone that I was thinking about, and 2 days later he asked her out.

The funny thing about me is that I am so thankful for Todd and we are still friends to this day. The tides have turned though, and it ended up that I was the first one to get laid, and I am far bigger and stronger than he is (he has that "skinny-fat" physique).

I mean, don't get me wrong. Positive comments and seeing progress is definitely important to me, but all of the negative things that happened in my life (ESPECIALLY throughout high school) push me farther than I could ever go on positive comments alone.

 

[Obsidian]

wow, you should next that a$$hole friend of yours...

and wtf is a skinny-fat physique?

I think maybe I benefit more from positive motivation, but I'm not really sure.

 

[Potbelly]

I agree with you. I definitely benefit more from negative motivation. i like mentally pushing myself fueled by resentment and a bit of anger. It's not healthy, but it works.

 

[Production6257]

haha a "skinny-fat" physique is where the person is scrawny, but is still flabby, usually with little man-boobs.

 

[Falcon]

Yea, I'm motivated like that too. As long as it doesn't turn into pure hate and you keep the focus on yourself it's cool. You seem to have done just that

I think there is also a lesson to be learned in this story too. When you are on top, it isn't wise to 'ruffle the feathers' so to speak. You never know what it may incite

 

[Mr.Positive]

haha a "skinny-fat" physique is where the person is scrawny, but is still flabby, usually with little man-boobs.

I respond to the positive!! however, I'll make a note to strive to never end up like this.

 

[Bonhomme]

Both, from my own mind; mainly positive from others.

 

[ScrewIt]

Negative motivation is good too. But a lot of it depends how th person takes criticism, if the person is arrogant or accepts their fault and is willing to make changes to their lives.

Personally I thrive better off positive.

 

[Production6257]

I agree with you. I definitely benefit more from negative motivation. i like mentally pushing myself fueled by resentment and a bit of anger. It's not healthy, but it works.

I'm not sure if I agree that it isn't healthy. There are a lot of people who, when criticized and made fun of, crawl into a shell and just sit around and get bitter. If I didn't take motivation from those experiences, then I would probably still be a nobody, and I would be very angry with the world. Instead of getting bitter, I got better. I am now actually helping my friend who did all that nasty stuff. I am helping him out with his workout routine because he is just getting started. Oddly, I now appreciate the fact that he has motivated me so much, even if it was negative (and I can tell it really gets to him when he hears me getting compliments/hit on by certain girls). I mean don't get me wrong, I know that he is a pretty bad friend, but I still enjoy hanging out with him and since he helped make me a better person, it is all the better.

 

[shortstop22]

Negative.

Every time I'm in the gym, or working on something for work, I think back to high school where everyone doubted me. I had a teacher tell me that I had no future, and that I was not a born leader. I was a mere follower and that's what I was going to be for the rest of my life.

From that day on I vowed that I was going to prove them all wrong, and I'm well on my way.

So as you can see for me, negative motivation works best for me.

It always helps to have a chip on your shoulder.

 

[Alphamale1821]

OMFG dude i was thinking about this **** last night as my friends was telling me about all the sexual experience she had with chicks. I'm actually going to create my own post in the high school forums so more details later. I was the same way i was insecure about how skinny i was the sad thing was i born a natural but i didn't realize it until the middle of my senior year. Let your mistakes help you not hurt you.

 

[lebRambo]

I think it terms of long term things, I definitely respond better to positive motivation. My biggest fear is failure. I get more thinking about how bright my future is gonna be if i put in the hard work now rather than how crappy it would be if i dont.

 

[MVP]

Yeah negative things work like that for me too. I like to prove that I can do it.

 

[Juan_Man]

I can relate.

 

[Juan_Man]

In college, one girl told a guy that if he was as scrawny as I was, then no girl would come near him. I've put on over 30 pounds of muscle since then.

 

[navyseal2101]

I agree that your friend is an *******. Also good post. I used to be a similar size but have bulked up b/c of the same kind of remarks, so I know exactly what your saying about negative motivation.

 

[Jestor]

This is something that I have been thinking a lot about lately. Personally, I tend to thrive off of the negative. For instance, this one thing that happened 3 years ago when I was in high school and still motivates me to this day: Me and a couple friends were meeting some girls at a pool. I am a naturally skinny person and at the time I was around 6 feet tall and like 135 pounds. I was insecure about my body and my one friend, Todd, knew it. Well there was one girl that we all had a crush on, and to my dismay she was all over Todd. He was giving her a piggy-back ride all around the pool and it was obvious who she wanted out of all of us. Well I stepped out of the pool and was standing there, and Todd (who can be a HUGE self-centered a$$hole) said, "Doesn't 'hamma' look like one of those starving kids from Africa that they show on the T.V ads?" I can't even begin to explain how much this has motivated me over the years. The image of the girl I desired on my friend's back and him uttering that line is forever ingrained in my head. Every time I work out and am on those last reps, I think of Todd and what he said that day. Another quick Todd story is when we were talking about girls that we liked at school and I mentioned someone that I was thinking about, and 2 days later he asked her out.

The funny thing about me is that I am so thankful for Todd and we are still friends to this day. The tides have turned though, and it ended up that I was the first one to get laid, and I am far bigger and stronger than he is (he has that "skinny-fat" physique).

I mean, don't get me wrong. Positive comments and seeing progress is definitely important to me, but all of the negative things that happened in my life (ESPECIALLY throughout high school) push me farther than I could ever go on positive comments alone.

I used to thrive off negativity as a source of strength but that wore me after a few years. It led to a sort of burnout and a result-oriented mindset which ate me up inside. It did result in some success, but mostly with women who were messed up. And no, the sex wasn't great, but that's what I was fishing for and I just didn't realize it at the time.

Positivity is better because when you meet someone who gets rubbed the wrong way it is more likely their problem than yours. Just weed them out "silently". No fuss, no muss, and you move on still smiling.

 

[rakishness]

I hate to say this but....most definitely the negative. I just don't preform well unless I am mad. Anger just gives me so much energy. It makes you so focused and determined. Though it can drain you of energy. And no matter how hard you try you can't stay angry forever.

I wouldn't recommend anger as a motivation to most people. Because most of us can't control our emotions. But yeah nothing gets me more focused then having doubters. People that HATE you...It's great to have that constant pressure ....just knowing that they want to see you fail. This type of mindset.....gives you focus....makes you STRONGER.

 

[PeterNorthisawesome]

I`m an assh)le and I love it when haters/jealous AFC say sh&t to me. I always do my best and beat competition so I guess both. Always having a negative motivation won`t be helpful when you want to compare the two. I think both are nesseccary, but I think negative is a little more motivating for me because I want to prove the haters wrong.

 

[Bonez]

I love it when people get jealous or angry with me. I know I didn't do anything wrong, so I can smile. Its when people are proud of me that really bothers me, I don't think I did enough to deserve their respect so I work that much harder.

I dunno if thats negative or positive though... you tell me please