Do you think this woman was blowing me off?

[Pettycoat Junction]

The story:

This is a woman i ride the bus with at college. I approached her and talked to her about 2 weeks ago, i asked about her major, her goals, what she wanted to accomplish with her education, etc.

A week later i saw her again on the bus and talked to her again. I talked more about her major and I asked her out on tuesday to go out on thursday. I asked for and she gave me her email address. I know a good deal about her major so i have info she would want.

So i sent this email:

I am free after lab on thursday, so after 5pm is fine. I was figuring we could
walk around midtown, near walnut/6th street and all those areas. They have alot of park benches in the shade around that area too and the scenery is nice. Do you just want to meet uptown or should I come pick you up?


Her reply:

I'm really sorry but i gotta go out of town on late notice. It's my best
friend's 21st birthday tomorrow. I originally wasnt gonna go but her boyfriend
just broke up w/ her yesterday and her mom basically begged me to go. So im
gonna go back home for the night. Sorry again.

My reply:

Thats fine, you don't have to apologize for considering your friends first
(i've always disliked it when people apologize for that). Maybe next week we can do something.



------------

I don't really mind if she is blowing me off, it only took about 7 approaches to find this one, i assume seven more and i'll find another. She sounds too apologetic to be blowing me off but she has never approached me, i always approached her.

However this is my plan. Wait for her to email me back or talk to me this week. if she doesn't, she was blowing me off. I don't want to try to pressure a woman who isn't interested in me into going out with me, that is not something I want to do.

 

[TurboLover]

Its good to see that your out there approaching but you wouldn't be asking this question if you call her on the phone. Email is for old people who work all day and can't always talk. Your in college forget the email.

On the phone you can tell more from her response. In a email you got all day to make up sh1t. Plus on the phone if she is interested she would most likely offered another time to get together.

I say give it another try on the phone. Because if she was interested it should of been her reply to say maybe some time next week would be good. But from this email who knows.

 

[Ice Cold]

This is a woman i ride the bus with at college. I approached her and talked to her about 2 weeks ago, i asked about her major, her goals, what she wanted to accomplish with her education, etc.

Boring sh1t in other words...
A week later i saw her again on the bus and talked to her again. I talked more about her major and I asked her out on tuesday to go out on thursday. I asked for and she gave me her email address.

I know a good deal about her major so i have info she would want.

She's not gonna go out with you cause you know stuff about the subject she studies. She was blowing you off.

What you need to demonstrate is that you're FUN and ENTERTAINING and can EXCITE HER and make her IMAGINE stuff.

And don't do this email sh1t. You see her on a regular basis. You both study at the same uni. Don't EVER ask for the digits cause it communicates too much interest.

FLIRT with her, COMPLIMENT her, ASK her intriguing questions, SEX her when you see her... Over a period of time she'll begin to like you, cause every time she sees you, she begins to think "sex" and she'll wanna be with you.

Then just say: "hey, I'm going for a cup of coffee, wanna come? Race ya!"

And talk and kiss her... then get the number. Not the other way around.

Get it?

 

[Skweints]

I doubt the fact that she was on a "late notice". I certainly wouldn't forget my best friends birthday, especially if it was his 21st.

As for the second e-mail, I personally wouldn't have bothered replying. Either that, or said something like "That's cool. I've got a pretty busy schedual next week anyways, so I can use the extra time to do a couple things I've been meaning to get done. Take care." If she wants to apologize, go ahead and let her. By saying that it's okay and not to apologize for considering her friends first, you're falling into the "nice guy" trap. Second, don't ever use the word "maybe" when setting up dates. It works better to suggest, or almost tell. She -should- do something is always a good way to set up a date: "I think we should hang out next week instead. Sound good?" or "You should hang out with me next week. We'll go do <blah>!" Shows you have more confidence, instead of trying to seek approval. Seeking approval = bad.

You're still making yourself too available to her, as well. Back off and find someone else. She'll wonder why you stopped paying attention and you should see a turn around.

So, with all that said, I'm willing to bet she did in fact blow you off. She found you to be too nice, and she probably doesn't need anymore girlfriends to gossip with.

 

[Pettycoat Junction]

Yeah i'm pretty sure i blew out, but that is my honest view that people shouldn't apologize forputting their friends before strangers. I want to be honest about my personality with women but i don't want to sound AFCish and make women think they can walk on me. The reason i said 'maybe' when asking for a date was because I didn't know if she was blowing me off and I don't want to force a woman who doesn't want to go out with me to do so. When i asked her out on tuesday i assumed the deal and in the last sentence of my first email I assumed the deal. I just gave her the option to back out again in the 2nd email because its not that important to me that i have to force women to date me against their will.

Also, i use email because i prefer that method of communication over the phone and because I figure most women will give an email address over a phone number since the email is more anonymous. Maybe i should go for phone numbers next time.

And she didn't forget her friends birthday, its just that something came up with her friend.

Oh well, you learn something new with each one.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Originally posted by Ice Cold

What you need to demonstrate is that you're FUN and ENTERTAINING and can EXCITE HER and make her IMAGINE stuff.


FLIRT with her, COMPLIMENT her, ASK her intriguing questions, SEX her when you see her... Over a period of time she'll begin to like you, cause every time she sees you, she begins to think "sex" and she'll wanna be with you.

Then just say: "hey, I'm going for a cup of coffee, wanna come? Race ya!"
Get it?

Exactly. You would have had a better response using the method Ice Cold described. Even if she wasn't interested, seeing someone or whatever, this approach would have at least given you someone to flirt with, lol.

 

[Pettycoat Junction]

Well give me some intriguing questions I should ask the next one. I typed "intriguing questions" into the search engine and didn't get squat, is there a list or a formula of them somewhere. I can probably come up with my own but i'd like to see what other people have success with too.

 

[biker_gixxer]

ooops, hit wrong button, disregard.

 

[chicksrock]

YEA DUDE
throw in some ****y and funny

stop acting so chumpish with the girl...

when you see her turn up the flirting by a few notches


Yes you need to be more FUN and ENTERTAINING..
just grab her next time
force her to do stuff with you..say you are the man..be funny ..do something unique!
keep at it
be persistant
show you her you are the PRIZE

date other women also if you can?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I was going to explain what you did wrong and why she IS blowing you off but everyone else already hit the nail on the head, so I'll sum it up in a phrase common to most modern day chumps:


NICE GUY = NO PU$$Y





PIMP

 

[Wong Fei Hung]

It sounds like she was blowing you off. Dont get discouraged! All girls do that sometimes to test us men. [girls are not women yet. They lack mature minds. ] I dont believed in that kind of B.S. She must be playing games.

Her reply:

I'm really sorry but i gotta go out of town on late notice. It's my best friend's 21st birthday tomorrow. I originally wasnt gonna go but her boyfriend just broke up w/ her yesterday and her mom basically begged me to go. So im gonna go back home for the night. Sorry again.



As soon as you got her phone number. Call her after a few days to setup a date. Try to talk to other women. For that girl, dont stop talking to her. Use her as a tool to get other ladies to want to approach you.

 

[Seeph]

You talked about her studies and emailed her.. if I didnt know any better you were acting like a professor. Would you want to go out with a girl and f*ck her b/c she knew about your major.