"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Do you think this communist chick is a tranny?

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
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I was looking at this pic, and couldn't help but think that the chick is a tranny:
commies.jpg

She is taller than anyone else, and face looks like it should be on a man. She's got broad (pun NOT intended) shoulders too.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SpartanWarrior77

Master Don Juan
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Yes.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Hi MDJ,
Hard to tell from her Fizz alone,but a sturdy Lass for sure...Radical groups can be part of ones journey through life,she probably finds happy cameraderie with this group....In the Early 70's I was a poor Student in Sydney,flirting on the outskirts of anti Vietnam war demonstrations.For someone with an interest in History it seemed quite inspiring marching alongside an old Lady who told me she had attended a similar event protesting the embarkation of Australian Soldiers going to fight the Bolsheviks in North Russia in 1919...Make no mistake,these People are almost religious in their commitment.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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