Do you think their are pros and cons of dating a single mom or just cons?

[eli77]

Do you think single moms get a bad rap or no?

 

[CBear]

You should watch Rich Cooper if you'd like advice on this.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

There are only cons, however, beyond a certain age you have to get realistic about the odds of finding a woman you find attractive, who is mentally healthy and capable of a relationship, and who has no kids (and also has the same preference as you for whether she ultimately wants kids or not).

If it's just a plate, then the cons are minimal IMHO and mostly logistics related - IE the kid gets sick, babysitter falls through, or whatever that ends up throwing a wrench in your plans to see her. But honestly, how much can you expect from a plate anyway?

If it's a relationship, there are a lot more cons you'll have to deal with.

There are even hidden cons - such as her conscious or subconscious biological drive to secure a provider for her and her kid(s) even if she has a job and is already supporting herself and the kids just fine. In this case, "provider" doesn't necessarily mean financial - it's more of how she sees you and what purpose she wants you for. You don't want to be filling a provider role, even if it never ends up involving money. You want to fill the romantic role.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Only cons. I hate that my cousin got with a single mom, married her, and had kids alongside other kids. I get it, we both grew up with siblings that came from different fathers. But it's not optimal nor fun for anyone.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Only cons.

 

[2Rocky]

If you are a Single Dad, involved in your kid's life, a single mom is more likely to understand the issues that co-parenting presents. If we are talking about LTR's a single mom is more likely to be on the same page in the parenting aspect than some young thang only a few years older than your teenager.

I actually wrote off some prospects because they were in my age range, but not parenting material. We had fun, but my kids never met them.

 

[Barrister]

If you are a Single Dad, involved in your kid's life, a single mom is more likely to understand the issues that co-parenting presents. If we are talking about LTR's a single mom is more likely to be on the same page in the parenting aspect than some young thang only a few years older than your teenager.

I actually wrote off some prospects because they were in my age range, but not parenting material. We had fun, but my kids never met them.

I was just going to say this. Primarily all cons, but if you are a single dad -- as I am -- I can tell you that when I have dated single moms they have been far more understanding of my relationship with my daughter, understood that she always came first, and understood that it was a big deal whether or not they would ever meet her.

That isn't to say women without children are incapable of the above -- but my experience is these concepts are much more difficult for them to grasp if they are childless.

 

[sangheilios]

This is going to depend upon a few things.

If you are an older man, I'm talking approaching your 40s and beyond, it is going to become increasingly difficult to find women to date that do not already have children. The only alternative to this is if you are able to date women much younger than you or finding a childless woman around your age, which I've noticed has it's own set of cons. Something that I'd be wary of if you are dating a woman who is well into her 30s and still single/unmarried with no children is why she is in this predicament to begin with. Something else to consider is if she is feeling her biological clock ticking and looking to get wifed up and impregnated as soon as possible, as she doesn't have much time left. I feel it is in a man's best interest to try to find a woman to get into a steady relationship with by the time he is in his mid 30s, as after this point you are truly fighting for the leftovers that you most likely wouldn't want.

If you are younger, 20s to early 30s, I'd be wary of single moms. In today's society it has actually become quite the norm for young women to have a kid out of wedlock with no father in the picture. Many of these women had their children fairly young and are often in a set of life and financial circumstances that are less than ideal. Sure, mistakes can happen but something to consider is that there is literally no reason for her to have gotten pregnant when access to both male and female birth control methods are available. Something that I'd be wary of is how these women emotionally processed the position that they are in. Based upon what I've seen with people around me, I've noticed it is quite common to have a victim mindset and to act like they played no role in how their life came to be shaped that way, I shouldn't have to explain why this is a problem. Women like this will also be looking for another man to fill in the role as a provider to her and her kid(s). This is fairly natural and the best interest of that party, but it has some rather odd dynamics that I personally wouldn't want to get involved with.

I think it is possible to date a single mother but I'd steer clear of developing an actual serious relationship with one. If you are relatively young, there are plenty of women in your dating age range that are single and childless. I realize how horrendous the current dating market is but I personally would rather steer towards the side of being highly selective and "picky" instead of going for whatever is available, which is the case for most men out there.

 

[2Rocky]

I remember in college we kinda crashed a dance at our Student Union Building. It was all 18-20 year old girls. After dancing with a few of them we realized they were mostly Born Again Unwed Mothers. We beat a hasty retreat....

 

[eli77]

Im 38 shes 44 and has 4 kids with two guys not looking to marry her just hookup

 

[2Rocky]

Eli you got a Vasectomy? Cause if she gets pregnant, you know what she's gonna do right?

 

[rjc149]

Im 38 shes 44 and has 4 kids with two guys not looking to marry her just hookup

Then why does it matter if she’s a mom? If she’s attractive enough and DTF with no strings, what’s stopping you?

 

[Kotaix]

There are no pros to dating a single mother. There are also no real cons so long as you never meet her kids and don't get her pregnant.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Only cons

The baby daddy will always be apart of her life, it's just not worth it

 

[SW15]

I only see cons for childless men like myself.

 

[sangheilios]

I only see cons for childless men like myself.

I honestly think this is really the truth to it. Outside of a one night stand or something casual, I just don't think it is a man's best interest to go for women like this. If you are actually looking for a relationship one thing that men may easily overlook is the fact that her kid(s) will always be the priority ahead of you, at least for a more normal woman. This is 100% the way it should be, after all what kind of woman puts her bf ahead of her own children, but will definitely create some issues with the relationship. It's a bit different when you are the father of these children and your wife places the majority of her energy into raising them, again this is normal. However, when you are just some random dude you are going to feel left out and I believe you'd be much better off finding a woman is single with no children so you are both on the same page. I don't believe this needs much in the manner of elaboration, most men are not going to be comfortable in a situation like this.

 

[SW15]

I honestly think this is really the truth to it. Outside of a one night stand or something casual, I just don't think it is a man's best interest to go for women like this. If you are actually looking for a relationship one thing that men may easily overlook is the fact that her kid(s) will always be the priority ahead of you, at least for a more normal woman. This is 100% the way it should be, after all what kind of woman puts her bf ahead of her own children, but will definitely create some issues with the relationship. It's a bit different when you are the father of these children and your wife places the majority of her energy into raising them, again this is normal. However, when you are just some random dude you are going to feel left out and I believe you'd be much better off finding a woman is single with no children so you are both on the same page. I don't believe this needs much in the manner of elaboration, most men are not going to be comfortable in a situation like this.

The most any childless man can get out of a single mom is some casual sex, but even that can be a pain. Dealing with single moms on any level can be frustrating. If you can deal with the frustration of the single mom interaction, you might be able to have some sex with her. While it is a good idea to use protection with all women, condoms become that much more important with a single mom. Impregnating a single mom is a bad idea.

Committed relationships with single moms don't make any sense for childless men. Having something else be higher priority in the formation stages of a relationship is not something I desire. If I have to spend time in a romantic relationship with a woman and spend time with kids, they better be our kids together.

Then again, I've made it to 38 as a childless man. I've had a good amount of sex too.

 

[sangheilios]

The most any childless man can get out of a single mom is some casual sex, but even that can be a pain. Dealing with single moms on any level can be frustrating. If you can deal with the frustration of the single mom interaction, you might be able to have some sex with her. While it is a good idea to use protection with all women, condoms become that much more important with a single mom. Impregnating a single mom is a bad idea.

Committed relationships with single moms don't make any sense for childless men. Having something else be higher priority in the formation stages of a relationship is not something I desire. If I have to spend time in a romantic relationship with a woman and spend time with kids, they better be our kids together.

Then again, I've made it to 38 as a childless man. I've had a good amount of sex too.

I honestly believe everyone would be happier if women found a good man to marry and have kids with, stay married, raise healthy and well adjusted children that grow into functional and respectable adult members of society. If this was more the norm, we wouldn't have threads about dating single moms, attention *****s, psycho women, etc. Women like this have always existed but going back not all that long ago they were the exception instead of the norm.

 

[The Duke]

Pro's: she has other things going on(her kids) so she isn't needing as much attention from you.

Con's: her kids take priority, which may or may not have an effect on you and plans you make with her.

I really question how secure some of you guys are. Some of you seem needy. I mean it's just a girl for good times and hot sex. Some of you over think this stuff. Many of you imply settling down with one.

 

[eli77]

What have been your experiences