Do you think that this act landed me in the friendzone?

[Brighty]

Basically the girl I've been hooking up with consistently for the past five nights in a row got into a fight with her best friend today and they traded words (her best friend is a HB5 and is jealous of her looks) and she was pretty upset. We all got back from a party at 2 am so we were all a little drunk and the girl was pretty devastated, so over the next hour and a half, I sat with her just keeping her company outside while she's literally bawling her eyes out, sobbing almost uncontrollably at times. I tried to get her to go to bed, but she wouldn't, and finally at 4am, since I have class in the morning, I made her promise me that she'd go inside and just stay on the couch in the dorm lobby so I could sleep easier. I don't know if it was the alcohol or what, but damn I've never seen a girl so devastated.

In the back of my mind, I kept on thinking that this was a total chode-ish thing to do, and we aren't in a relationship so it wasn't really justified. We're friends, but with benefits (and the benefits are good!), so I don't know if the fact that we've been intimate changes the scenario at all even if we aren't in a relationship, but I have a sneaking suspicion that being her pillow tonight landed me in the friends-with-no-benefits zone, but honestly I didn't know what else to do. She was so upset, almost shockingly so, and all her friends kind of left her. I was just the strong man she could lean on and just keep her company outside, even if I didn't say too much. But I'll be upset if that means that I ****blocked myself in the process.

I dunno, thoughts?

 

[Ganondorf!]

you just did what a friend should do

I think you'd have been fvcked if you just ignored her, then you wouldn't be a friend with anything

don't read so much into the friendzone junk because you'll find a lot of times those rules are broken all the time

 

[hover411]

don't worry about a thing.

don't bring it up either, just act like it never happened. she is probably embarrassed about it.

definitely don't start acting like a desperate chode, now that you planted this seed in your own mind for no reason whatsoever.

 

[scrouds]

A confident man can afford to show compassion to his plates. There's always a balance and a happy medium to be had.

 

[Igetit!]

I say no.

Timing is everything.

Although what you described here can land you in the friendzone,the fact that a sexual relationship had already been established kind of insulates you from LJBF.

Since attraction is the foundation,I'd say you're ok.

Now if you had STARTED OFF FROM THE BEGINNING doing this with her,then yeah,you'd be headed in that direction.

Another thing is this:if this kind of thing continues to where these interactions are happening more and more,and are outweighing THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF YOU TWO BEING TOGETHER,which is you two being sexually interested in each other,then eventually,yes,you will be friendzoned.

Generally once a relationship has been established,it's hard for the people involved so see each other in another way.


That's why it's HARD to get out of the friendzone,but the reverse is also true.


In other words,for you to fall into the friendzone after a solid sexual relationship has already been in place for a while,you'd really have to work at it,almost to the point of trying to get friendzoned on purpose.

I think you're ok since this was just an isolated incident,just don't make a habit out of it.

 

[shaunuk]

Nah man, sounds all good to me. That was the time to be nice, it was respectable, props. She may respect you more for it.

This time was appropriate to be her "emotional tampon". Don't be at inappropriate times.

 

[Brighty]

Well last night we ended up hooking up and it got pretty passionate for a casual thing like this, so I would say that being there that night and comforting her definitely helped my case. Thanks for the advice guys.

 

[nismo-4]

You showed compassion in this case. Commendable!

But the next time you see her, don't bring it up. If you do, you'll be on the downward spiral to becoming the girl's emotional tampon. Just live your life like normal and show that she's not your numero uno priority or oneitis.

Case closed.