"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Do you think "Sex & The City" has ruined women in terms of sexual modesty, financial responsibility, and even the desire to cook?
- Thread starter MatureDJ
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
RickTheToad
Moderator
I think social media ruined people; not just females. Sex and the city started in the 90s I believe.
Pure fantasy of living in New York as a hoe with money and freedom to do whatever. Every woman had a sh!t relationship which was ironic but part of the drama that women liked to watch. Dopamine hits from the emotional highs and downs. The financial breakdown in the video alone shows how the show was a complete joke and not based on reality, but that would not make for a good show. Fancy clothes, expensive drinks, fancy restaurants, handsome dudes, basically porn for the average chic.
Fortune_favors_the_bold
Master Don Juan
The amount of flexing we see from women nowadays is drugaddict type.
First it was bars and restaurants or glamorous clothes but now with social media it got beyond the limit with those 5 stars resorts, boats and diva like settings.
Whoever wrote the bible surely was into something when he made it clear that the snake had a better chance for temptation toward the woman rather than the man.
80% of the men would be more than happy to have a decent job which grants a certain amount of dignity and wealth while living in a decent area of the city and supporting a family.
Women? just leave one on facebook or instagram for a couple of weeks and even those bond villain with their hundreds of enchmen, private islands and vehicles will be seeing as settling.
First it was bars and restaurants or glamorous clothes but now with social media it got beyond the limit with those 5 stars resorts, boats and diva like settings.
Whoever wrote the bible surely was into something when he made it clear that the snake had a better chance for temptation toward the woman rather than the man.
80% of the men would be more than happy to have a decent job which grants a certain amount of dignity and wealth while living in a decent area of the city and supporting a family.
Women? just leave one on facebook or instagram for a couple of weeks and even those bond villain with their hundreds of enchmen, private islands and vehicles will be seeing as settling.
Pierce Manhammer
Moderator
There are plenty of popular tv shows that have pushed this lifestyle. A more recent example
is Sex/Life on Netflix, no stop drama and enablement.
Oh my she has perfect babies, a perfect home in the burbs, a chad husband who makes f-tons of money, who is safe and loves her and she’s a “writer”.
Yet she longs for her ex who has an imperial accent, is taller than her husband, dangerous oh and did I mention? A billionaire producer and has a big schlong. Gee that’s real right there…right?
Omg how can she decide! I mean gawd!
And the show goes on to show that she can have both! Yeah sure. That shyte sells like hotcakes on Sunday morning.
is Sex/Life on Netflix, no stop drama and enablement.
Oh my she has perfect babies, a perfect home in the burbs, a chad husband who makes f-tons of money, who is safe and loves her and she’s a “writer”.
Yet she longs for her ex who has an imperial accent, is taller than her husband, dangerous oh and did I mention? A billionaire producer and has a big schlong. Gee that’s real right there…right?
Omg how can she decide! I mean gawd!
And the show goes on to show that she can have both! Yeah sure. That shyte sells like hotcakes on Sunday morning.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Fortune_favors_the_bold
Master Don Juan
The thing is that nowdays shows are diluted in a sea of enterteinment while back then in the early 20s there were some show who managed to be almost monopolistic.
I never cared for sex and the city but I was often called in high school Mr biggs it wasn't until the current season and latest incarnation that I respected it now but you also have to realize reality TV has a lot to do with it anybody remember real housewives of OC?
SW15
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We have discussed this topic before in detail. The thread below contains one of Rollo Tomassi's first posts on this forum and some of my own commentary.
www.sosuave.net
Effects of Sex and the City
This is just a general question and topic for debate. What kind of influence has Sex and the City been on women? Negative or Positive? I tend to think of the show as a televsion version of Cosmopolitan magazine. It just encourages women to over analyze men, and be even pickier and more...
www.sosuave.net
SW15
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I have watched a good portion of this linked video.
I think it is fair for us to discuss "Sex and the City" in terms of the non-sexual elements because that's a newer angle compared to the thread I found from the past, which focuses more on sex/dating/relationships. Also, the linked video is more about these financial and non-sexual elements of the show.
@MatureDJ mentions financial responsibilities and the ability to cook as non-sexual elements.
It is true that all of the female lead characters are financially irresponsible for a lot of reasons. Each character has their own flaws. This depiction didn't set a good example for women, but it had some basis in reality for urban women of 1998-2004.
Let's start with income.
Carrie doesn't earn a lot of money as a journalist for a smaller publication. She has the most financial issues out of all of the characters. She overspends on non-essentials, such as clothing and other fashion accessories. She would have needed a sugar daddy to maintain her lifestyle. Her rent was depicted as artificially low. The only way that is possible it is realistic is if she got into a rent controlled building many years before 1998. She moved to New York in the 1980s and was paying 1980s prices.
Charlotte's art dealer salary was likely good because she owned the gallery. Her parents were also wealthy so she could have received support from her parents.
Miranda (lawyer) and Samantha (PR firm owner/executive) have solid incomes and were examples of what's been called the 'Girl Boss' in recent years. Miranda and Samantha were harder core careerist women and didn't value cooking or cleaning. Miranda ordered a lot of Chinese takeout food, which isn't the healthiest food choice and more expensive than cooking. Samantha was not well known as a home chef either.
Although Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha all had good incomes, they all spent way too much money. They all likely incurred a lot of credit card debt. That's not good in any way for women in the real world.
I think it is fair for us to discuss "Sex and the City" in terms of the non-sexual elements because that's a newer angle compared to the thread I found from the past, which focuses more on sex/dating/relationships. Also, the linked video is more about these financial and non-sexual elements of the show.
@MatureDJ mentions financial responsibilities and the ability to cook as non-sexual elements.
It is true that all of the female lead characters are financially irresponsible for a lot of reasons. Each character has their own flaws. This depiction didn't set a good example for women, but it had some basis in reality for urban women of 1998-2004.
Let's start with income.
Carrie doesn't earn a lot of money as a journalist for a smaller publication. She has the most financial issues out of all of the characters. She overspends on non-essentials, such as clothing and other fashion accessories. She would have needed a sugar daddy to maintain her lifestyle. Her rent was depicted as artificially low. The only way that is possible it is realistic is if she got into a rent controlled building many years before 1998. She moved to New York in the 1980s and was paying 1980s prices.
Charlotte's art dealer salary was likely good because she owned the gallery. Her parents were also wealthy so she could have received support from her parents.
Miranda (lawyer) and Samantha (PR firm owner/executive) have solid incomes and were examples of what's been called the 'Girl Boss' in recent years. Miranda and Samantha were harder core careerist women and didn't value cooking or cleaning. Miranda ordered a lot of Chinese takeout food, which isn't the healthiest food choice and more expensive than cooking. Samantha was not well known as a home chef either.
Although Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha all had good incomes, they all spent way too much money. They all likely incurred a lot of credit card debt. That's not good in any way for women in the real world.
BaronOfHair
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The idiocy that's inherent in believing everything one sees on screen has ruined millions of lives, female and male alike
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
BaronOfHair
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There was a time when Rollo was writing in Plain Language, rather than emulating Feminist Theory's insatiable hard-on for communicating exclusively in opaque gobbledygook? I'm(pleasantly) astounded!!!We have discussed this topic before in detail. The thread below contains one of Rollo Tomassi's first posts on this forum and some of my own commentary.
Effects of Sex and the City
This is just a general question and topic for debate. What kind of influence has Sex and the City been on women? Negative or Positive? I tend to think of the show as a televsion version of Cosmopolitan magazine. It just encourages women to over analyze men, and be even pickier and more...
Pierce Manhammer
Moderator
I get it man, English is hard to comprehend.
BaronOfHair
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One gets incomprehensible, when he stops writing like a down-to-earth human being (Here's RT in '04: "I refuse to allow my 6 year old daughter to watch Rugrats for exactly this dynamic. Every adult male character is ridiculed and emasculated. All of the fathers on the show are wimpy, house husbands and/or ridiculed directly or indirectly for being male. Every adult female character on the show is a pushy, controling, unrealistic superwoman that assumes a traditionally masculine role"), and starts trying really hard to sound like the smartest guy in the room, by dishing out incoherent babblings such as ("I’m not here to debate politics, but the gender landscape has undeniably, unignorably, altered in the two years since a hyper-masculinized man put down the bid of a hyper-gynocentrist female-supremacist woman for the presidency she believed she was entitled to.
We didn’t witness Trump defeat Hillary, we witnessed HIM defeat HER. The Gestalt Masculine prevailed over the sure-thing, “her turn” presumed victory of the Gestalt Feminine") https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1207688296136167425.html
All levity aside, I mean no disrespect to Tomassi. He seems like he means well. I'm taking aim here at this incurable hard-on so many of us moderns have for expressing our thoughts in the most convoluted way imaginable https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/science-diction/articles/jargon-we-love-to-hate-it https://info.cooley.edu/lawschoolin...ill-open-more-doors-and-give-you-more-success
This is a serious problem among both The High Priests Of Woke Leftism and The Ayatollahs Of Red Pill Theology alike
Millard Fillmore
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Nah. Just another form of NAWALT. If women are the same wherever you are, they're also the same whenever you are.