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Do you think men should try to become "friends" with women as a first step into becoming lovers with them?

harrison9876

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My question would be what is your definition of FRIEND? A girl you talk to like a guy friend...hang out with...let her call you and talk about her problems...you call her to see what is up...blah blah blah...? In short, you being her GIRLfriend?

OR

An acquaintance type friend?

I am friends with girls in class...I have their numbers...but I do not call them...and they do not call me. We chat and catch-up in class...but that is it. I have occasionally gone out as a group with those girls...but none of them I am attracted to. If their was one, I would just ask her out and take it from there. I have also been friends with girls who have serious boyfriends...and also when I was in a relationship. yet I NEVER hung out with them. I have made moves on girls who I knew for a while who had boyfriends and are now single...but that is far and few between.

Those I would say are platonic acquaintance type friends...where one does not fall into the "girlfriend" trap.

If you are not treating a girl you want as a "friend" (see my first paragraph) in order to get more...then you are doomed to fail. I have learned my lesson doing this, the hard way.

What is the point of befriending...?

That said...I saw something on VH-1 or E! or something...where the interviewer asked random girls on the street, "if you had a guy friend who really liked you more than a friend...what can he do or say to show you?" (or something along those lines)...

The response from most of the girls was "uuuuuhhh...make a move!".

Not sure if those girls are referring to guys in their life who are like "girlfriends"...or acquaintance type friends...I would assume the latter.
 

LARaiders85

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If a woman wants you as "friend" is because you dont have enough look while having other assets she may need, simple as that.

A man that is useful, trustworthy and good looking gets a priority lane for a relationship.

A guy that is not useful nor trustworthy but goodlooking gets in the fvck buddy zone.

You get friendzoned when you are not goodlooking enough to get physical as much as she gets fvckbuddyzoned when she doesnt have anything beside her body.
That simple
 

samspade

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Friends in the same sense as you're friends with a guy? No.

Friends meaning acquaintances for light hearted fun once in a while? Sure, but not as a strategy. Too many men around here and in general are strategizing when they can just go with the flow and not care.
 

Mike32ct

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Friends in the same sense as you're friends with a guy? No.

Friends meaning acquaintances for light hearted fun once in a while? Sure, but not as a strategy. Too many men around here and in general are strategizing when they can just go with the flow and not care.
Exactly. It's NOT a strategy at all. It's just having a social life. Some women are cool people.
 

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user252009

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would be interesting to have some genuine female perspective here, wonder what their take on this would be
 

Robert28

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Friends in the same sense as you're friends with a guy? No.

Friends meaning acquaintances for light hearted fun once in a while? Sure, but not as a strategy. Too many men around here and in general are strategizing when they can just go with the flow and not care.
A lot of men have been burned badly by female friends in the past, I’ve been burned twice. It’s a job to keep them at a distance because they will try to treat the friendship like a relationship without sex. It’s also not fun being around someone that doesn’t find you sexually attractive. Now, if a woman is dating a friend or something along those lines, that’s completely different. She’s part of my social circle. BUT just making friends with a woman? Hell no.
 

samspade

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A lot of men have been burned badly by female friends in the past, I’ve been burned twice. It’s a job to keep them at a distance because they will try to treat the friendship like a relationship without sex. It’s also not fun being around someone that doesn’t find you sexually attractive. Now, if a woman is dating a friend or something along those lines, that’s completely different. She’s part of my social circle. BUT just making friends with a woman? Hell no.
Burned, how?

I've been wrong about a girl's interest, even sad because of it, but it wasn't her fault.

It really isn't such a big deal if you don't make it so. Men take women way too seriously.
 

stringpuller

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I was reading a comment from an article about incels & Vikings I had posted earlier, and it got me interested:

my opinion: Women only sex "friends" once they give up their search for an Alpha, typically about when they hit The Wall. :down::down:

This subsequent commenter gets it:

:up: :up:
To get into this artichles quote "friendzone" you first have to be sexually attractive to the target.
"I just see you as a friend"
Women only sex "friends" once they give up their search for an Alpha,
Nahh not at all true.
 

EyeBRollin

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No. Women are for sex. That should be every man’s #1 objective. Romance the woman into sex. If a man does this, she will make everything else in the relationship fall into place.
 

ShePays

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Yes

And

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

If you're trying to worm your way into some chick's heart, through the service entrance, be cause you're a pusssy and/or a loser, and you think she's otherwise out of your league, then....HELL NO!

If you're just keeping a constant stable of cute chicks on-deck, in YOUR friendzone, in case you ever have an opening to fill, and might like to have applicants for the position on standby...or just because it's always a good idea to keep your sword sharp...then, definitely YES!
 
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Robert28

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Burned, how?

I've been wrong about a girl's interest, even sad because of it, but it wasn't her fault.

It really isn't such a big deal if you don't make it so. Men take women way too seriously.
If the women will stay at a great distance and not need your constant attention, then that can work. But the rub is if you’re enjoyable to talk to and be around, they’re going to want to feed off of that constantly.
 

Robert28

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Yes

And

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

If you're trying to worm your way into some chick's heart, through the service entrance, be cause you're a pusssy and/or a loser, and you think she's otherwise out of your league, then....HELL NO!

If you're just keeping a constant stable of cute chicks on-deck, in YOUR friendzone, in case you ever an opening to fill, and might like to have applicants for the position on standby...or just because it's always a good idea to keep your sword sharp...then, definitely YES!
The whole “worming your way into a girls heart through friendship” isn’t what usually goes on. In fact, it’s the opposite. What happens is guy likes girl, guy asks out girl, she may say no or she may go on a few dates and THEN friendzone him. What happens next is the female likes the attention, pursues the guy to get more of said attention, guy still has crush on girl and girl uses that against him. Now, I’ll admit most guys should walk away but I’ve had women word it “hey, I like you, I enjoy being around you but I’m still hung up on my ex. But I want to continue hanging out” and they mean it! It’s a blowoff but it’s a blowoff to still keep you around. Then come the daily flirty texts, the calls, the “friend dates”, everything like a relationship but not a relationship. Guy thinks “damn I’m so close, just gotta try a little harder.” It’s easy to get sucked into this type of friendship because women have had years and years to perfect this skill. A guy might encounter a friendzone scenario 2-3 times in his life, a girl encounters it TENS if not HUNDREDS of times. She knows what she’s doing.
 

samspade

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Yes

And

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

If you're trying to worm your way into some chick's heart, through the service entrance, be cause you're a pusssy and/or a loser, and you think she's otherwise out of your league, then....HELL NO!

If you're just keeping a constant stable of cute chicks on-deck, in YOUR friendzone, in case you ever an opening to fill, and might like to have applicants for the position on standby...or just because it's always a good idea to keep your sword sharp...then, definitely YES!
That's a good way to put it.
 

mrgoodstuff

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How it really happens, is a guy is attracted to the babe, and she makes him a "friend" because she is not seeing him like that or she has another man or more already between her legs. She asks "friend" to do all these things the guys hitting it should be doing, and if friend goes along with it ( he probably doesn't mind for some small things ), then he's kinda "cucking" himself energy wise.

Because her body belongs to another guy (temporarily), he's wasting all this time submitting to her wishes, and getting a non-sexual type of energy.

If the guy obligues to one request, she may make another and another. Locking him into a position.

For the purposes of this forum, female friends are okay. It's just best not to spend that much time at all around them, unless you have a woman that your fvcking. And in my honest opinion a female friend WILL do favors for you and will come to you and help you. And don't let female friends ask you to do things that their "man" should be doing. Charge them $$$.

And of course guys not hanging around on this site, might be a "friend" to a female and show her "how she should be treated", because perhaps she tends to get shytty deals from guys she's with. In 2020 that's stupid due to female abundance.

Back in 1970, that may have been a somewhat workable strategy. But females will slot you in a category, and jumping out of a box she put you in is nearly impossible.

As a matter of fact, for anyone "dating" we should always be around females who find us sexually attractive, and exciting. And who want to have sex with us. A exception can be made for a lady who is so much of a great time, that energetically, that you do get something out of the interactions with her. But as a default, women come to get the mans energy...

For most of the guys here including myself it makes sense to spend most time around babes who are putting out, who see us as a top sexual choice. That will keep your swag at it's highest level.
 

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mrgoodstuff

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The whole “worming your way into a girls heart through friendship” isn’t what usually goes on. In fact, it’s the opposite. What happens is guy likes girl, guy asks out girl, she may say no or she may go on a few dates and THEN friendzone him. What happens next is the female likes the attention, pursues the guy to get more of said attention
Dude, some of them NEED that attention from that certain guy(s), it's not just any attention. Each of us guys have different energies and attentions.

, guy still has crush on girl and girl uses that against him. Now, I’ll admit most guys should walk away but I’ve had women word it “hey, I like you, I enjoy being around you but I’m still hung up on my ex. But I want to continue hanging out” and they mean it! It’s a blowoff but it’s a blowoff to still keep you around. Then come the daily flirty texts, the calls, the “friend dates”, everything like a relationship but not a relationship. Guy thinks “damn I’m so close, just gotta try a little harder.” It’s easy to get sucked into this type of friendship because women have had years and years to perfect this skill. A guy might encounter a friendzone scenario 2-3 times in his life, a girl encounters it TENS if not HUNDREDS of times. She knows what she’s doing.
Safest for us to deal with females who have the strongest preference to us, that means were hitting it consistently. True female friends will happen, but those will want to do us favors and like to see us strong and happy, they won't ask for too much.
 

Lynx nkaf

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Dude, some of them NEED that attention from that certain guy(s), it's not just any attention. Each of us guys have different energies and attentions.


Safest for us to deal with females who have the strongest preference to us, that means were hitting it consistently. True female friends will happen, but those will want to do us favors and like to see us strong and happy, they won't ask for too much.
all true
 

corrector

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No. Women are for sex. That should be every man’s #1 objective. Romance the woman into sex. If a man does this, she will make everything else in the relationship fall into place.
But sex produces babies. You have kids?
 

ShePays

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The whole “worming your way into a girls heart through friendship” isn’t what usually goes on. In fact, it’s the opposite. What happens is guy likes girl, guy asks out girl, she may say no or she may go on a few dates and THEN friendzone him. What happens next is the female likes the attention, pursues the guy to get more of said attention, guy still has crush on girl and girl uses that against him. Now, I’ll admit most guys should walk away but I’ve had women word it “hey, I like you, I enjoy being around you but I’m still hung up on my ex. But I want to continue hanging out” and they mean it! It’s a blowoff but it’s a blowoff to still keep you around. Then come the daily flirty texts, the calls, the “friend dates”, everything like a relationship but not a relationship. Guy thinks “damn I’m so close, just gotta try a little harder.” It’s easy to get sucked into this type of friendship because women have had years and years to perfect this skill. A guy might encounter a friendzone scenario 2-3 times in his life, a girl encounters it TENS if not HUNDREDS of times. She knows what she’s doing.
There's just so much there to unpack. If you're "holding out hope," you're instantly wrong. Hoping is longing, and longing is only a stone's throw from stalking....and stalking never leads anywhere good, for anyone. If you both think she's too good for you, you're probably both right. Find a girl your own speed, or just focus on yourself....as long as that doesn't mean hanging out in your mom's basement, playing video games. If you wouldn't be inspired by a movie about whatever it is you spend your time doing, maybe you shouldn't spend your time doing it.

I had a friend who had a crush on a chick he worked with, but he thought she was too good for him, and she knew it. He was like a puppy dog for her. Well, he was a good guy, with a lot going for him, but he wasn't exactly confident with women. He was probably a 7.5, but he seemed to end up with these chubby 4s with mental problems.

Anyway, one day this chick from work hears my buddy is looking for a roommate, and let's it be known that she's looking for a new place. My buddy sees this as his in, and offers her the spare room in his apartment.

I told him exactly what would happen, if he went through with it, but, pathetically, he actually looked forward to the fulfillment of my prognostication. I told him, he'd end up paying all the bills, for which she'd reward him with sex, and make him feel like she was doing him a favor, and that eventually -- sooner than he thought -- he'd get tired of having sex with her, and of paying her bills, and would want her to move out, but would end up moving out, himself. He was almost embarrassed to complain to me about the mess he'd gotten himself into.

You can put any spin on it you want, but if you're hoping your friendship with the "hot chick" will blossom into something more, be careful what you wish for. Making yourself a pathetic creature isn't going to make you happy. Just avoid the girl. Put her out of your mind. And, if she ends up stalking YOU...you probably won't like it as much as you think you will, anyway.
 
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