"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Do you think Aubrey O'Day has hit The Wall?

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Billtx49

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Well there’s definitely something seriously wrong with a woman that will dye her dogs hair like that …
 

LTG71

Master Don Juan
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The question should really be, “From which restaurant‘s do you think Aubrey O’Day has hit the wall menu?”

The miserable person on the inside finally made it to the person on the outside. The poor dogs have to be tortured by her misery too.

I know a women that ended up like this. She used to have a peach of an a$$. It doubled in width over the past decade. Brings a tear to the eye. Problem too is that it takes double or triple the effort to lose the weight compared to gaining it.
 
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