Do you think all relationships follow the law of diminishing returns now?

[Ricky]

One could argue that on a long enough time scale all relationships follow the law of diminishing returns.

there is a period of gain and growth after which there is decay.

is the only solution to continually grow and cultivate new relationships? We see that in the form of plate spinning

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Everything follows the law of diminishing returns.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Sounds depressing

 

[The Duke]

I've had a lot of relationships. Every type and the ltr's all ran their course about the 5year mark. SW15 mentioned this often.

The theory of diminishing returns is a thing and it's pretty common. But when you have the right person you can be the exception.

I've had so many relationships that it's pretty easy to see the patterns and know when it's time to pull the plug. Going thru all of that has helped me realize when I do have something solid.
Figure out what makes you tick and what you need. Don't waiver in who you are. Then find a girl that delivers. I've been with 78 of them and only met two that have been the exception to the diminishing returns theory. It takes a girl that brings as much to the table as you do. You need to be a leader and she needs to be a supporter.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I've had a lot of relationships. Every type and the ltr's all ran their course about the 5year mark. SW15 mentioned this often.

why do you think they all had a 5 year mark? Based off my previous LTRs, I knew they weren’t going to by 6 months max but I still stuck around until they ended.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I was thinking about this the other day, not about relationships per se, but when people were talking about marriage that whole week over here. I believe most people get married or committed when the marginal return from moving from one person to the next diminishes. In other words, they get the best they can get. Those who do not optimize this will probably keep looking for something better, even if the gains become increasingly marginal.

But as another poster said, the law of diminishing returns applies to everything.

 

[The Duke]

@CornbreadFed
I think its common because thats typically how long it takes to get thru all the phases.

Phase 1: Honeymoon phase.
Phase 2: Reality sets in. Habits/Routines start to develop. The new car feel is wearing off.
Phase 3: You hit the plateau. Less effort. Stuck in routines. Less effort. The cracks are definitely appearing. This is when you figure out you probably aren't with the right person.
Phase 4: You start to question each others effort and intent. You air your issues more frequently. Respect slips away.
Phase 5: Turmoil until it ends.

 

[CornbreadFed]

@CornbreadFed
I think its common because thats typically how long it takes to get thru all the phases.

Phase 1: Honeymoon phase.
Phase 2: Reality sets in. Habits/Routines start to develop. The new car feel is wearing off.
Phase 3: You hit the plateau. Less effort. Stuck in routines. Less effort. The cracks are definitely appearing.
Phase 4: You start to question each others effort and intent. You air your issues more frequently. Respect slips away.
Phase 5: Turmoil until it ends.

If you are relying on a "honeymoon phase" in the first place, then yes, things are probably going to feel like they're declining afterward. That's one reason I don't particularly like the term. It establishes the beginning of anything as some artificial high point and then treats everything that follows as a gradual descent from it. Similar to how someone tells you that college will be the best years of your life. Really, because I will technically have like 50 years left of living after college? The term is just doomer manipulation IMHO.

 

[The Duke]

If you are relying on a "honeymoon phase" in the first place, then yes, things are probably going to feel like they're declining afterward. That's one reason I don't particularly like the term. It establishes the beginning of anything as some artificial high point and then treats everything that follows as a gradual descent from it. Similar to how someone tells you that college will be the best years of your life. Really, because I will technically have like 50 years left of living after college? The term is just doomer manipulation IMHO.

I finally realized that when you are dating and going out often, having drinks, dancing, going on trips, fun day excursions, etc that I could have fun with anyone. So even though I was having such a great time it didn't mean we were "great" for each other. It doesn't mean much in regards to compatibility. It's not a good litmus test for a successful long term relationship.

The best litmus test for me has been being able to talk with my significant other about random things for hours and it be highly enjoyable for each other. The second litmus test is how you handle problems.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I finally realized that when you are dating and going out often, having drinks, dancing, going on trips, fun day excursions, etc that I could have fun with anyone. So even though I was having such a great time it didn't mean we were "great" for each other. It doesn't mean much in regards to compatibility. It's not a good litmus test for a successful long term relationship.

The best litmus test for me has been being able to talk with my significant other about random things for hours and it be highly enjoyable for each other. The second litmus test is how you handle problems.

It took me like 7 failed LTRs to figure out my litmus test lol.

 

[MatureDJ]

Everything follows the law of diminishing returns.

There is a term for this: Entropy

Entropy - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Entropy and the Law of Diminishing returns are two completely separate things.

Entropy is an increase in disorder.

The Law of Diminishing returns can be valid within a system of increasing order. In fact, this is often the case.

For example, a farmer buys more land, and hires more workers. This is decreasing the disorder of the system, by taking more "raw" land and turning it into productive land.

But each worker he adds has a less percentage impact on his bottom line. Simply by expanding workers and increasing productivity, the percent gains from each worker become less and less as you expand your workforce.

Decreasing entropy (more raw materials being turned into finished goods) while increasing diminishing returns.