"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Do you suffer from having too many interests?

switch7

Master Don Juan
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I do. And I find it tiring trying to juggle them.

My interests are art/sketching/design, financial markets, electronic music production, self development, and gym.

I tend to go through phases of concentrating on one to juggling all of them and then the pattern repeats. Sometimes I find it really tiring to the point where I have zero free time and feel a bit all over the place.

The only thing I seem to stay consistent with is the gym recently.

Can anyone else relate to this or am I on my own here?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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HoneyHitter

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Same here. Will elaborate later.
 

Desdinova

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All the bloody time. If I quit my job, I probably still wouldn't have enough time to do the things I love. That's why it blows me away when I meet someone who says they don't have a hobby. How the fvck can somebody not have one? There's so much 5hit out there to learn and do.

I also don't consider playing video games a hobby. That's like saying watching TV while twirling a fidget spinner is a hobby.
 

FairShake

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I have the exact opposite problem. No time to partake in the things I'm interested in. I can't remember the last time I went fishing for example. Between work, kid time, gf time, and reading time I only get a little bit of friend time which is usually spent drinking and talking about work, kids, girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands, and the last sh!t we read.

Hobbies are for when I'm retired.
 

BoySam

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Opposite. I have none hobbies, but looking for one
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Atom Smasher

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This has always been a problem for me. It's so easy to spread oneself too thin. To this day I'm hard at work trying to get a handle on it. I've been trying different ways to allocate time for each interest with mixed results. Somehow hard allocation tends to take the spontaneity out of some interests.
 

resilient

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I cycle through interests. I'll be intensely interested in some. Let that fade a little bit, then pick up something new. There are hobbies that I would like to return to with time, motivation, and finances to support them with a curious/willing attitude.

The good thing about having so many interests I would say also helps you relate to others in conversation.

I got a beer and some pizza with my best friend last night and we talked about guitars, musical genres, sound effects from amps, pedals, and mixers for about 15-45 minutes. I would definitely not had that same conversation four months ago.
 
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