"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Do you suffer from having too many interests?

switch7

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I do. And I find it tiring trying to juggle them.

My interests are art/sketching/design, financial markets, electronic music production, self development, and gym.

I tend to go through phases of concentrating on one to juggling all of them and then the pattern repeats. Sometimes I find it really tiring to the point where I have zero free time and feel a bit all over the place.

The only thing I seem to stay consistent with is the gym recently.

Can anyone else relate to this or am I on my own here?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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HoneyHitter

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Same here. Will elaborate later.
 

Desdinova

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All the bloody time. If I quit my job, I probably still wouldn't have enough time to do the things I love. That's why it blows me away when I meet someone who says they don't have a hobby. How the fvck can somebody not have one? There's so much 5hit out there to learn and do.

I also don't consider playing video games a hobby. That's like saying watching TV while twirling a fidget spinner is a hobby.
 

FairShake

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I have the exact opposite problem. No time to partake in the things I'm interested in. I can't remember the last time I went fishing for example. Between work, kid time, gf time, and reading time I only get a little bit of friend time which is usually spent drinking and talking about work, kids, girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands, and the last sh!t we read.

Hobbies are for when I'm retired.
 

BoySam

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Opposite. I have none hobbies, but looking for one
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Atom Smasher

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This has always been a problem for me. It's so easy to spread oneself too thin. To this day I'm hard at work trying to get a handle on it. I've been trying different ways to allocate time for each interest with mixed results. Somehow hard allocation tends to take the spontaneity out of some interests.
 

resilient

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I cycle through interests. I'll be intensely interested in some. Let that fade a little bit, then pick up something new. There are hobbies that I would like to return to with time, motivation, and finances to support them with a curious/willing attitude.

The good thing about having so many interests I would say also helps you relate to others in conversation.

I got a beer and some pizza with my best friend last night and we talked about guitars, musical genres, sound effects from amps, pedals, and mixers for about 15-45 minutes. I would definitely not had that same conversation four months ago.
 
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