Do you pursue or resist?

[lover4721]

I keep typing this, and always closing the window. I include too many details.

I have this woman -- she admits that she likes me, really needs me to tell her I like her, and needs some validation. She is a virgin, as well. I can handle this.

I have been playing it very well.

She has never had a real relationship. Had an online relationship for 8 months, and the guy said goodbye. Second detail is she was curious about sex, met someone, but he was too sloppy and she told him to stop during foreplay.

It seems to be good. She is scared of me saying goodbye. And it almost happened, and now her 'guard is up'. She even moved our date to next weekend, also because of snow. She said she is scared that I may say goodbye, so she doesn't want to get further into it. Then she just said she is scared about dating anyhow.

Now -- I know with women who are not needy, you don't want to tell them you like them. This girl is different. She told me she liked me. She went way out of her comfort zone. Way out of it.

Do I resist her? OR, do I pursue her a little bit, show affection, and also resist?
She is very sexual... and a crazy imagination. She over-thinks everything.

She likes to know that I like her... but I also feel like what brought her and I close, was being friends only and resisting her because I didn't have that attraction for her.

So she likes both.
Do I pursue her? Do I resist her? Do I show interest, date, and also keep that gap between us?

I only ask because she now says she has her guard up, because she feels like I'm going to say goodbye, since we already did but decided we just needed space the other day. Now her guard is up.

Do I show her that I'm interested? OR resist? I feel like her feelings grow when I resist, but she wants someone to show her that they like her. She say's stuff like "Please don't leave me. I need you. You made me go out of my comfort zone and do things that scare me!"

 

[salinechow]

Lead her. Same advice to you as Giantsfan88. There is a reason you both identify with each other. You are ok at gaming but you need to grab your balls and LEAD this chick to what you both want. She is practically begging you for it. TAKE a shot and lead with whatever you come up with. Bet you it ends up working. Everyone around here will tell you the same thing so you dont need any more advice. Never trust what a woman says but give her her desires in action. If she resists try once more. After that, go ghost. ACTION. NOW DO IT! No more asking and thinking.

 

[Huffman]

Not giving you advice on this particular situation, but what I (try to) do in general: if in doubt, attack. I'm just tired of thinking thinking thinking. Playing games, waiting to calll, whatever. The girls I like appreciate it.

 

[lover4721]

Wow, I actually got a good response from this forum.
Haha thanks -- I will take your advice.

 

[lover4721]

It makes sense. I am pretty good with the relationship part of things, have been good at the beginning, but pretty terrible at not over-thinking about how I should act to keep her by.

I hate the waiting games, too. That is my mindset, but constantly, we are told to always play this game. It ruins my relationships because I play too hard. Whereas before all of these pickup messages, I was good... So, conflicting. Do I give in and give her what she wants? OR, keep resisting to see how far she will go?

I think it would end up good.

I'm just not sure what she wants. Sure, we are going to date more. But I don't want to pursue, show her good times, and overwhelm her. She said it herself -- I overwhelm her. We actually started as friends, talked about how we both feel in social situations, as friends. I had no attraction for her. She came to me. I didn't come on too strong, and I don't want to now.

I'm not sure.

But, she is definitely ready to move this forward from what this is now.
I'm ready too.

I also feel like I might becoming 'dependent' on her, jealous about things, etc. IT never used to be like that in the start of the relationship. So I want to keep my cool... I read up a lot on jealousy, and I guess I trust her a lot more. But I am feeling a bit uncomfortable getting close to her.

I over-think -- so I will do what I am told. She is waiting for me to take this further.
I will lead. She is definitely begging for it haha and to be honest, earned it.
I can't believe how far out of her comfort zone she went. It's even more since I posted my original post.

I just wasn't sure if I should continue to keep this large gap between us, or actually pursue her since she is showing those 'feelings' as if she wants me to pursue her.