Hey I was wondering if it is right to pay on the first date? I usually do, but does this de value me? Secondly, I asked this girl on Okcupid is she wanted to go out for something to eat. Not sure if that is even considered a date, but should I pay??
Do you pay on first dates?
- Thread starter BigMak87
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Yuma
Don Juan
First off - why are you meeting girls online? Go out and get a tangible broad.
Secondly - I always pay. I don't think it has anything to do with devaluing or the like, but it shows that you aren't a broke bastard. What I like to do is wait for the girl to start paying, then crack a joke, take the bill from her and pay. And make sure you tip well, if the person you're tipping deserves it. Girls notice that.
Secondly - I always pay. I don't think it has anything to do with devaluing or the like, but it shows that you aren't a broke bastard. What I like to do is wait for the girl to start paying, then crack a joke, take the bill from her and pay. And make sure you tip well, if the person you're tipping deserves it. Girls notice that.
drewsg
Don Juan
A walk in the park eating $5 worth of ice cream is a much cheaper and better solution than $80 on a 2 person meal. Seriously, that's ridiculous..Tiguere said:
Donnie Darko
Don Juan
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I personally accept 100% of the time when a girl offers to pay or split the bill. I used to always insist on paying but insisting on paying never benefited me in any way.
I still have to pay for women sometimes when they never offer to contribute when the bill comes. Does anyone have any suggestions for handling this? For example, do I just ask her if she wants to split it.
Some women will let you pay and then pick up drinks later or get the next bill or something to that extent. it really is different with every woman. Some will pick up the bill only occasionally like every 4 or 5 dates.
Also, I try not to take women on expensive dates. I just explain I like to get to know a person for the person and not for the restaurant that we go to and that I like to save really nice restaurants for special occasions.
I still have to pay for women sometimes when they never offer to contribute when the bill comes. Does anyone have any suggestions for handling this? For example, do I just ask her if she wants to split it.
Some women will let you pay and then pick up drinks later or get the next bill or something to that extent. it really is different with every woman. Some will pick up the bill only occasionally like every 4 or 5 dates.
Also, I try not to take women on expensive dates. I just explain I like to get to know a person for the person and not for the restaurant that we go to and that I like to save really nice restaurants for special occasions.
Sir Psycho Sexy
Senior Don Juan
Pay for first date.
If she insists on splitting the bill then great, dont complain.
As unfair as it sounds, she doesnt know you very well on that first date so not paying for her will make most women write you off as cheap and next you.
If she insists on splitting the bill then great, dont complain.
As unfair as it sounds, she doesnt know you very well on that first date so not paying for her will make most women write you off as cheap and next you.
DonJuanit0
Master Don Juan
I just w8 for her to open her wallet and then I'll just say: "This time is on me, next will be yours 
"
So, I have 2 profits out of it!
1) Means that there will be a next date, or at least I would want to
2) On the next date she HAS to pay
With this tactic, I'm in a LTR right now and we pay the bill by turn no matter where we'll go!
"So, I have 2 profits out of it!
1) Means that there will be a next date, or at least I would want to
2) On the next date she HAS to pay
With this tactic, I'm in a LTR right now and we pay the bill by turn no matter where we'll go!
Or you could avoid your typical first dates. I hate the whole going out to dinner thing. I think it's absolutely horrible. Maybe consider just going for a walk in the park or going to get coffee to see how your personalities mesh.
When you meet a new girl, you have absolutely no idea how it's going to pan out. Taking her out for a formal date is in my opinion a big investment.
When you meet a new girl, you have absolutely no idea how it's going to pan out. Taking her out for a formal date is in my opinion a big investment.
WaterTiger
Master Don Juan
First dates should be CHEAP. What if you realize you don't like the girl and she just soaked you for lobster dinner, with all the fixings?
There are over a hundred cheap date ideas on this site, you just have top look for them.
I was raised old fashioned, from another generation...
They guy pays. If he doesn't pay, he won't get a second date. Splitting the check is what I do with my female friends. If he wants to split the check, he instantly became my girlfriend.
HINT: If I insist on paying the check, I think you're a total loser and can't WAIT to get out of the restuarant and away from you.
There are over a hundred cheap date ideas on this site, you just have top look for them.
I was raised old fashioned, from another generation...
They guy pays. If he doesn't pay, he won't get a second date. Splitting the check is what I do with my female friends. If he wants to split the check, he instantly became my girlfriend.
HINT: If I insist on paying the check, I think you're a total loser and can't WAIT to get out of the restuarant and away from you.
WORKEROUTER
Master Don Juan
If she suggests paying that's fantastic why would you ever decline that??
But DO NOT take a girl out to dinner on a first date. Seriously it usually sucks. I don't know about you but I love going out to eat at good restaurants and actually ENJOY my food. Save your money for going out to eat either by yourself or with a friend that you'll actually enjoy convo with...not some broad who will be boring you to tears while you're trying to enjoy a meal.
FOr first dates I always take the girl out to a BAR. If she's under 21, then I'll meet her at a cafe, we'll grab a couple drinks, and we'll go for a walk.
At the bar I usually just ask her ahead of time if she likes beer. IF she does, I research which bars are having some good happy hour drink specials and I'll take her there. Can EASILY get a pitcher of some good beer for under 15 bucks.
Plus you get her a little boozed up and it becomes more fun.
But DO NOT take a girl out to dinner on a first date. Seriously it usually sucks. I don't know about you but I love going out to eat at good restaurants and actually ENJOY my food. Save your money for going out to eat either by yourself or with a friend that you'll actually enjoy convo with...not some broad who will be boring you to tears while you're trying to enjoy a meal.
FOr first dates I always take the girl out to a BAR. If she's under 21, then I'll meet her at a cafe, we'll grab a couple drinks, and we'll go for a walk.
At the bar I usually just ask her ahead of time if she likes beer. IF she does, I research which bars are having some good happy hour drink specials and I'll take her there. Can EASILY get a pitcher of some good beer for under 15 bucks.
Plus you get her a little boozed up and it becomes more fun.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Why is this even a question? Why is there even a thread about it?
Look, if you are going out on a first date, it's almost implied that YOU invited HER to go out. If you can't foot that first bill, then you have no business going out in the first place.
Are we really that cheap that we can't just have the first date and offer to be a gentlemen?
Now before people jump down my throat... I'm not saying that you should go out and have lobster dinner for the first date. My list of first date options NEVER include any of these:
- Lunch/Dinner
- Movies
- Anything over $20
The first date is a date to gauge interest. I don't try to impress someone on a first date, I want them to impress ME.
So what do I do on a first date? Anything relatively cheap but that is ALL about getting to know each other a little better. And anything that you can exit from early, is GOLDEN. Do you really want to sit through a 1.5 hour dinner and 20 minutes into the date, you realize this girl isn't cutting it?
Enjoy your $50 bill along with that shot of humble pie.
So what does Kailex do on first dates? It depends on the woman and the approach, but I've only ONCE had a date go past the $20 limit and I got screwed for that in the end. My list includes:
- Coffee
- Drinks
- Mini-Golf
- Billiards
- Bowling
- Walk through the park
- Walk down a boardwalk
- If she just seems like she wants to jump my bones right away, I'll just tell her to meet at her place or mine and we can leave from there, and instead, skip the whole "Paying" crap while I'm playing "hide the canoli" underneath her bed sheets.
Amongst many others.
And if I ask her out for coffee and I can't bring myself to pay that $5 bill, I have no business going out with her in the first place. I'd be more worried about whether she's good enough for a second date than whether I'd be paying the first tab. And if you can't afford anything under $20 for a first date, I think it's time to get a better job or just go hit Red Box and watch a movie by yourself.
Look, if you are going out on a first date, it's almost implied that YOU invited HER to go out. If you can't foot that first bill, then you have no business going out in the first place.
Are we really that cheap that we can't just have the first date and offer to be a gentlemen?
Now before people jump down my throat... I'm not saying that you should go out and have lobster dinner for the first date. My list of first date options NEVER include any of these:
- Lunch/Dinner
- Movies
- Anything over $20
The first date is a date to gauge interest. I don't try to impress someone on a first date, I want them to impress ME.
So what do I do on a first date? Anything relatively cheap but that is ALL about getting to know each other a little better. And anything that you can exit from early, is GOLDEN. Do you really want to sit through a 1.5 hour dinner and 20 minutes into the date, you realize this girl isn't cutting it?
Enjoy your $50 bill along with that shot of humble pie.
So what does Kailex do on first dates? It depends on the woman and the approach, but I've only ONCE had a date go past the $20 limit and I got screwed for that in the end. My list includes:
- Coffee
- Drinks
- Mini-Golf
- Billiards
- Bowling
- Walk through the park
- Walk down a boardwalk
- If she just seems like she wants to jump my bones right away, I'll just tell her to meet at her place or mine and we can leave from there, and instead, skip the whole "Paying" crap while I'm playing "hide the canoli" underneath her bed sheets.
Amongst many others.
And if I ask her out for coffee and I can't bring myself to pay that $5 bill, I have no business going out with her in the first place. I'd be more worried about whether she's good enough for a second date than whether I'd be paying the first tab. And if you can't afford anything under $20 for a first date, I think it's time to get a better job or just go hit Red Box and watch a movie by yourself.
Serg897
Master Don Juan
General consensus: Yes, but make it cheap.
I agree with this generally. Some girls will be polite and offer to split the bill, and if they do this I generally take them up on it. Remember, gender roles aren't necessarily the same as they always have been and sometimes its nice if the girl foots the bill once in a while. I sometimes make a joke about it.
For the first date, the consensus we have is a good general rule.
I agree with this generally. Some girls will be polite and offer to split the bill, and if they do this I generally take them up on it. Remember, gender roles aren't necessarily the same as they always have been and sometimes its nice if the girl foots the bill once in a while. I sometimes make a joke about it.
For the first date, the consensus we have is a good general rule.
We can go out on date, but we split the bill/ go dutch right down the middle for the transport, meal and entertainment.
Set the money boundary from the get go. 50/50 always. If they are not happy with that - next them...
Set the money boundary from the get go. 50/50 always. If they are not happy with that - next them...
ok, either way if i ask her out or not if we go up to the cashier and he will tell me the total i will instantly bust out the cash and pay. but if the guy tells the total and she offers to pay, or anytime she offers to pay, i let it go because it should be a pretty good sign it means that she wants something from you or she has favor towards you so I don't have to feel guilty.
Raised "old fashioned", huh? Does that mean you are a stay-at-home housewife who views raising kids and pleasing her man as her main purpose in life? Does that mean you slink away obediently when the man of the house says "shut your mouth, woman"?WaterTiger said:
Being old-fashioned cuts both ways. The fact that you are too cheap to pay for your own meal does not automatically make you "old fashioned".
WaterTiger
Master Don Juan
Actually, YES! I would rather stay home, cook, clean, keep the house up & spoil my man rotten. However in the current economic state, one person supporting the entire house is extremely rare, and in my case, impossible. I work because I have to help with the rent, utilities & put food on the table. Since the gentleman I'm seeing has recently become unemployed, not only am I paying for MY meal, but his as well.J.F. said:
It's been many, many years since I was told to "Shut your mouth woman!" because I already know when to shut the fcuk up! There are ways to make a point calmly without resorting to yelling.
Hop down off your soapbox Junior. When I say old fashioned, I mean it.
