Do you pay on first dates?

[Slick101]

I went out with an HB 8.5 last night, we went to a hookah lounge (first date)
A great atmoshphere we kissed SHE IS REALLY INTERESTED.. Bought me a gift of chocolates, telling me she likes me alot and all the IOI's you can think of. At the end the bill comes.. 44 BUX.. I take out 30 CASH, (they dont accept credit cards) she puts in another 16 bux with tip..

Then we go to a bar, She orders drinks she pays 20 dollars cover charge for 2 of us.. and tells me (Ill pay for this but, can you please cover my parking costs in the parking lot) I agrredd.. ALTHOUGH I DIDNT WANT TO..

She got 4 drinks and asked me if I can cover that.. I agreed and paid 30 bux for the drinks..

Then we got to the parking lot and I paid 35 dollars for the parking..

NOW DID I MESS UP SOMEWHERE?

I really didnt want to pay for her parking.. and I wanted to split up the drinks...

So what you guys think?

SO IN THE FUTURE I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS

 

[omega05]

to me that is a lot of money ($35 parking fee, $30 drinks) but she did pay for some of the hookah bill and covered you to get into the bar so it's not like you paid for everything.

 

[Scion]

well I can guarantee that someone will comment that you screwed up by paying when she asked and because you didn't **** her. But who knows if your screwed up, only time will tell. If she's still game for going out again then your probably ok, but otherwise....

As a personal rule I don't like spending money on a date, but that's only because the girls I usually go on dates with don't want to see me again.

 

[CaptainJ]

Don't worry mate, you didn't screw up. It's when you start analyzing like this though that you start to screw up. It doesn't matter how much you pay, if you maintain a DJ state of mind and exude confidence, she'll be interested regardless.

HOWEVER, always listen to what you want. Spending that much money just on first dates is going to mean real heartache for your wallet. You make the decisions, because you are the man, so if you want to split it, then goddamn split it. Don't be a wuss about it, just be upfront about it.

 

[BeyondCharm]

Do whatever you want. I often tell a girl she's going to be paying half. If she tries to pull that nice guy gentlemen thing on me I will laugh in her face.

 

[Kailex]

I went out with an HB 8.5 last night, we went to a hookah lounge (first date)
A great atmoshphere we kissed SHE IS REALLY INTERESTED.. Bought me a gift of chocolates, telling me she likes me alot and all the IOI's you can think of. At the end the bill comes.. 44 BUX.. I take out 30 CASH, (they dont accept credit cards) she puts in another 16 bux with tip..

Then we go to a bar, She orders drinks she pays 20 dollars cover charge for 2 of us.. and tells me (Ill pay for this but, can you please cover my parking costs in the parking lot) I agrredd.. ALTHOUGH I DIDNT WANT TO..

She got 4 drinks and asked me if I can cover that.. I agreed and paid 30 bux for the drinks..

Then we got to the parking lot and I paid 35 dollars for the parking..

NOW DID I MESS UP SOMEWHERE?

I really didnt want to pay for her parking.. and I wanted to split up the drinks...

So what you guys think?

SO IN THE FUTURE I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS

It seems that all you are worrying about is the financial issue.
You just BRIEFLY mentioned the actual "enjoying the date" part at the beginning and then the rest of it is all the money spent.

I've had the 80 dollar dates as well, and learned quickly that that's NOT how you want the first date to go. Because maybe in two weeks, you guys will not even be talking and you spent all that money right out of the gates.

Next time, first date, keep it simpler.

I saw you are from the Bronx and I know it sucks to go out in the City... a date with drinks involved is an automatic 50 being dropped on the tab by the male.

The question is... do you want to see her again? Does she want to see you?

Because if the answer is YES to both, keep Date #2 SIMPLE. Go bowling... play pool... do something that doesn't require paying parking. Good god, I'd forgotten how expensive it was to park in the city. Take a walk around a park... do something that doesn't come make 100 bucks come out of your wallet every time.

As far as what you did wrong?

I don't know... all you gave were monetary specifics on your date.
It could have been worse... she could have made you pay for EVERYTHING... THEN, I would have said that you did everything wrong and she should have paid her own parking.

How long was this date anyway that she had to pay 35 (I mean YOU pay) bucks for a few hours??

 

[Slick101]

It seems that all you are worrying about is the financial issue.
You just BRIEFLY mentioned the actual "enjoying the date" part at the beginning and then the rest of it is all the money spent.

I've had the 80 dollar dates as well, and learned quickly that that's NOT how you want the first date to go. Because maybe in two weeks, you guys will not even be talking and you spent all that money right out of the gates.

Next time, first date, keep it simpler.

I saw you are from the Bronx and I know it sucks to go out in the City... a date with drinks involved is an automatic 50 being dropped on the tab by the male.

The question is... do you want to see her again? Does she want to see you?

Because if the answer is YES to both, keep Date #2 SIMPLE. Go bowling... play pool... do something that doesn't require paying parking. Good god, I'd forgotten how expensive it was to park in the city. Take a walk around a park... do something that doesn't come make 100 bucks come out of your wallet every time.

As far as what you did wrong?

I don't know... all you gave were monetary specifics on your date.
It could have been worse... she could have made you pay for EVERYTHING... THEN, I would have said that you did everything wrong and she should have paid her own parking.

How long was this date anyway that she had to pay 35 (I mean YOU pay) bucks for a few hours??

Dont get me wrong.. My game is on point.. Im not worrying about this girl.. she asked me if I can sleep with her last night (cuddle without sex tho because she doesnt know me yet YEAH RIGHT)

She likes me alot and keeps qualifying me So I know Im on point..

The only thing that is bothering me is the money situation.. I dont want to pay money like that on first dates..

We met up at 10 oclock... and I dropped her off at the parking lot at 3:30 AM

THE MESSED UP PART IS.. I also drove to the city it was a sunday! PARKING EVERYWHERE>>

Why the hell did she have to park in a lot? LOL

And I actually live in queens,, and she is a jersey alpha female.. Smart,sexy, ambitious

Do I want to see her again? EH.. It was my 4th date this week.. Im comparing her to everyone else.. She is very emotional.. I might if its a simple date.. Maybe I can go to her spot and F*ck her..

IDK

 

[kingsam]

HOWEVER, always listen to what you want. Spending that much money just on first dates is going to mean real heartache for your wallet. You make the decisions, because you are the man, so if you want to split it, then goddamn split it. Don't be a wuss about it, just be upfront about it.

Next time, tell the young lady you'd like to just sit and talk. No dinner. No dates. No nothing. You simply want to get to know her. You don't want food or dates to get in the way of wanting to know the "real her." If she prefers "going out", get another girl...NOW...

OP this was a BIG first date..... a lot of poeple only go for a drink or two (coffe, beer, wine...etc) for the first datewhich will cost like $10... THEN spend a bit more on 2nd date some where nicer.....
be careful as you may be setting a precident for spending "nice amounts" money and taking her to fancy places...

if it were a 2nd or later date rather, meh - not that bad (and you could have done a LOT worse)... but people all have different opnions of what you should do/how much to spend ...

Also - it is good that she contributed = "good flag" as she is a 'giver'

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I went out with an HB 8.5 last night, we went to a hookah lounge (first date)
A great atmoshphere we kissed SHE IS REALLY INTERESTED.. Bought me a gift of chocolates, telling me she likes me alot and all the IOI's you can think of. At the end the bill comes.. 44 BUX.. I take out 30 CASH, (they dont accept credit cards) she puts in another 16 bux with tip..

Then we go to a bar, She orders drinks she pays 20 dollars cover charge for 2 of us.. and tells me (Ill pay for this but, can you please cover my parking costs in the parking lot) I agrredd.. ALTHOUGH I DIDNT WANT TO..

She got 4 drinks and asked me if I can cover that.. I agreed and paid 30 bux for the drinks..

Then we got to the parking lot and I paid 35 dollars for the parking..

NOW DID I MESS UP SOMEWHERE?

I really didnt want to pay for her parking.. and I wanted to split up the drinks...

So what you guys think?

SO IN THE FUTURE I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS

Looks like you are dating someone who is just used to living that life style. Spending money on stuff for herself and/or you, is no big deal for her. At the same time, she is looking for someone who is also willing to do the same, without keeping tabs and without worrying all the time about who pays, etc.

If you don't want to or can't pay your way, both your ways, her way in sometimes, then this is not somebody who you should be dating. If you can't afford it, or just don't want to "throw away" that type of money on everything, then this will be a major issue.

Either be ready to pay freely on things without getting uptight, or find yourself somebody who's lower maintenance.

She asked you to pay because she saw you weren't volunteering to pay for your share of stuff, and she's not used to people not offering. Not bad thing, but it can get ackward after a while.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

OP this was a BIG first date..... a lot of poeple only go for a drink or two (coffe, beer, wine...etc) for the first datewhich will cost like $10... THEN spend a bit more on 2nd date some where nicer.....
be careful as you may be setting a precident for spending "nice amounts" money and taking her to fancy places...

if it were a 2nd or later date rather, meh - not that bad (and you could have done a LOT worse)... but people all have different opnions of what you should do/how much to spend ...

Also - it is good that she contributed = "good flag" as she is a 'giver'

Kingsam nailed it here!

Only thing I wanted to add is to be a little leery of this chick when you ended up paying well over double what she contributed to the night.

Slick you've been here long enough to know that blow $100 on a first date is probably not the best idea. But if you really don't care that much since your seeing a few girls, then don't let it bother you. However, I'd be surprised if this byatch didn't expect lavish, $$$$ filled dates in the future now.


BTW, what kinda girl buys a dude chocolate as a gift?? LOL





PIMP

 

[Slick101]

Looks like you are dating someone who is just used to living that life style. Spending money on stuff for herself and/or you, is no big deal for her. At the same time, she is looking for someone who is also willing to do the same, without keeping tabs and without worrying all the time about who pays, etc.

If you don't want to or can't pay your way, both your ways, her way in sometimes, then this is not somebody who you should be dating. If you can't afford it, or just don't want to "throw away" that type of money on everything, then this will be a major issue.

Either be ready to pay freely on things without getting uptight, or find yourself somebody who's lower maintenance.

She asked you to pay because she saw you weren't volunteering to pay for your share of stuff, and she's not used to people not offering. Not bad thing, but it can get ackward after a while.

You are right... Im thinking about going to her place for a second date... If we are going out again, I dont want to go.

My financial situation is not that great now... and I cant afford to throw away money like that on BS..

 

[Slick101]

Kingsam nailed it here!

Only thing I wanted to add is to be a little leery of this chick when you ended up paying well over double what she contributed to the night.

Slick you've been here long enough to know that blow $100 on a first date is probably not the best idea. But if you really don't care that much since your seeing a few girls, then don't let it bother you. However, I'd be surprised if this byatch didn't expect lavish, $$$$ filled dates in the future now.
PIMP

BTW, what kinda girl buys a dude chocolate as a gift?? LOL

I didnt mention that I saw her before at a bar, and she was drunk so I left.

Next day when she called me I said I dont know If I can see you again because you emabrassed yourself. She begged me for a second chance and said that she will make it up to me.

This is why she bought the gift of chocolates. Inside every chocolate was a wrapper with a Thank You note on it. (kinda like a fortune cookie)

It was cute I have to admit! lol

 

[kingsam]

BTW, what kinda girl buys a dude chocolate as a gift?? LOL

I didnt mention that I saw her before at a bar, and she was drunk so I left.

Next day when she called me I said I dont know If I can see you again because you emabrassed yourself. She begged me for a second chance and said that she will make it up to me.

This is why she bought the gift of chocolates. Inside every chocolate was a wrapper with a Thank You note on it. (kinda like a fortune cookie)

It was cute I have to admit! lol

so did you get your willy wet?

you could have used the chocolate for a bit of "play" in the bar...and later?

 

[JJ109]

And I actually live in queens,, and she is a jersey alpha female.. Smart,sexy, ambitious

IDK

anyone else see where this fella is going wrong?

 

[Scion]

anyone else see where this fella is going wrong?

yep, he should be going for the dumb hoes

 

[Rescue Mission]

sex is the cheapest date you can have........costs about what, 25 cents per condom?

Save the dates that cost $$ for a girl who you know is worth it (aka a girl who you have already fvcked).

Otherwise, you will end up realizing that you ended up wasting alot of $$ all for nothing (trust me, I learned this the hard way).

1st "date" should ALWAYS be either at her place or your place, her dvds/your dvd's, and a $10 bottle of wine. This kind of "date" only works though if YOU, the don juan, are a smooth operator and are fascinating to be around with.........it will always get the girl to want to have sex, almost 100% of the time (once I smartened up, this is what I ALWAYS ended up doing as a 1st date with girls, and I had results like you wouldn't believe).

 

[kingsam]

and a $10 bottle of wine.

ah wine, a womans Achilles’ heel

- quite relitivly cheap for the amount/strength
- they get drunk quicker than beer
- they prefer it to other beer/alcopops/harder drinks
- they get that drunk-horny thing from it quite quickly...
- now us guys are a bit older its aceptable to drink...!

 

[ENIGMA16]

My rules on this is that it depends on how you ask. If you're asking a girl to go out to dinner, you should pay. If you tell her that you're going to get dinner, and you're offering that she can come with, you don't have to pay. The subtle difference between the two is in the former you are asking her to get dinner with you, whereas in the latter you're inviting her to come along when you get dinner.

Coffee however should always be dutch.

 

[bookman]

whatever the wise men answer, I have a question related, is it really such a sensitive issue? that if you kinda mess up on one occasion by paying an extra dollar more than she did... is it really going to ruin everything else?

 

[Allurre]

First dates? Never fork out a big sum. Just keep it simple. But if you were to ask me, yes, I'd pay for the first date, especially when you're the one to ask her out.

If you're financially-stricken, then get creative, think outside the box. There are plenty of ideal dates that DON'T REQUIRE money.