Do you 'next' faster when you 'met' online?

[XRCBWilliams15]

Just curious what the DJ community's take is on this. I do, lightning fast...maybe too fast.

Went on a 5th date over the weekend with one, she was just kinda deadpan and boring so I just made the decision to move on. She was HB7ish, decent face, amazing body, but just lame as fvck. She didn't really do anything wrong, just know I can do better.

Meanwhile, I have another chick I have been fvcking for a month I met in a bar, is a solid HB7.5+, with a sh!t personality. I guess because she doesn't date online I don't think I have anything to 'maintain', and her interest level couldn't be higher.

These other online chicks get 100 messages a week so I think if I don't 'stay in front of them', she'll just next me so I next her first. I know this is NOT the right mindset though. it's just really hard to believe that any online chick has a legit IL with the amount of options out there. They give all the indications of high IL, but I can't help but wonder if it's bullish!t every time. This is tripping me up a little, because I know how easy it is for me to get dates online, that I can't even imagine how easy it is for HB7 or better.

The probability of the **** carousel seems all but guaranteed.... you guys agree with this? How do you keep it from affecting your game? I have been just stepping it up really hard with other girls which makes me not care, but then I don't care so much that I next em. I go too far one way or the other... my buddy saw me with the girl I just decided I won't see anymore, and said I'm a dipsh!t.

But again, doesn't happen with the ones that I assume are not online dating. All this sh!t aside, have had really good success online, just think it's fvcking up my mindset a bit. (if you read my first thread, then you KNOW it is :crazy: ) - that chick had me feeling stupid as sh!t. (which is going pretty well btw, for those who helped me there, have fvcked her a few times)

 

[El Payaso]

It's a good mindset to have. A one strike rule is much better than being led on or wasting your time or money.

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

well sh!t, so you're saying it's actually improving my mindset? maybe i should just go with it then :crackup:

 

[skinnyguy]

Yep

 

[Harry Wilmington]

These other online chicks get 100 messages a week so I think if I don't 'stay in front of them', she'll just next me so I next her first. I know this is NOT the right mindset though. it's just really hard to believe that any online chick has a legit IL with the amount of options out there. They give all the indications of high IL, but I can't help but wonder if it's bullish!t every time. This is tripping me up a little, because I know how easy it is for me to get dates online, that I can't even imagine how easy it is for HB7 or better.

Let's help you change this mind set, shall we?

For starters: I did a podcast about this very same subject a while back (Ep. 144), which you can listen to HERE.

In the meantime: have you ever read the messages most guys send a girl? Let's be moderate and say a girl receives 20 messages, all from different guys. Here's a sampling of how some of those messages will go:

"Do you need a sugar daddy in your life?"

"I came across you online and thought I would introduce myself. We have a lot in common, starting with Masters' degrees in Journalism. Although I went to the #1 program and you arguably went to #4 "

"i like what your wrote on your essay. im just guess about the part tips waiters and waitresses part. that an little different from what usually on someone profile. i do like to give big tips to them. but that because im nice guy . so was you ever an Waitresses before or have an family member or friend who was one. well anyway i like pizza lol what guy dont like Pizza. but it my favorite food to eat . im like hang with family , i can be kinda an mommy boy . i always go visit her when she come home from work. so i like to ask about her day before i go home. one thing i know im not is i do get nervous in different situations. so i guess you can say im uncomforable with anything new. i like to know ahead what going on . well anyway i just want to say hi and tell how beautiful you are and tell you my pro and cons. enjoy the rest of you day"

BTW, these are ACUTAL messages guys have written - one of my friends has a website where she posted up these lines guys have actually sent to her (I'm doing a podcast with her sometime next week about this same subject). Now, just imagine having 20 out of 20 guys send you these types of messages. Just because she has constant messages coming in doesn't mean they are ones she wants to respond to.

This is why it's actually EASIER to succeed with women online if you're not in their face all the time. IF, out of 100 messages, you're the ONLY guy that sends her something she actually responds to, it means that whatever message you sent made her feel like she could relate to you. Therefore, even if you decide to wait a few days in between correspondence (which I don't recommend you do) her interest is still going to be there.

Me, I like to get them off line and onto an in-person date as soon as possible, so I don't typically have this problem; but, I have had situations where I start talking to a girl, then I stop for a couple months to date someone else, then when I go back online I hit up the previous girl and they're still wanting to talk to me and go on a date with me. Which, again, means I did something right in my original conversation with her to make her feel a connection.

Remember, guy: you can't look at the way women online date from a guy perspective, or else it's going to trip you up. Remember, guys are more logical; so, you're thinking, "if x girl gets y number of people hitting her up, she must have tons of options and she'll forget about me." Think more emotionally: "if x girl gets y number of people hitting her up, but only 1% of them can send something that makes her feel connected, my odds of dating her are higher if I send that right message."

Hope this helps!

 

[asa_don]

Went on a 5th date over the weekend with one,

you shouldn't go on a 5th date without getting laid, period!

chicks know that they want to bang you right after they meet you, if you're going that long without sex she isn't interested in fvcking you, or knows you're a beta who will wait it out forever.

it doesn't matter how many messages a chick gets online, most of the messages she deletes, the guys that send them she has no interest in, women choose the guys they like, then weed them out to find the best ones worth dating and fvcking.

online dating is just to get laid, you really don't want to get into relationships with these girls, they dont handle relationships well at all.

treat all women the same, if you're getting excuses with no action, next!

 

[jurry]

I'm not really sure what the question is, you went on five dates with her before moving on I dont see how that is nexting too fast?

The only caveat I would mention about the rest of what you wrote is it sounds like you are overthinking it a bit and "outgaming" yourself. Its impossible to know what is going on on the other end for a girl, whether you met online or in person, so you are always going to have to accept that uncertainty. I assume every girl is dating other guys already (why wouldnt they? We are dating other girls) and that she could flake at any time. Thats life, and it really makes no difference. You're the shît, you dont need her to complete you, you are just enjoying life. If you end up liking each other and she sees this attitude you have, then the rest of it doesnt matter.

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

Thanks for the posts. Helpful without a doubt.

I never said I didn't have sex with her though. I k-closed one the 1st, took it further on the 2nd, and slammed it home on the 3rd. But to be fair she wasn't a great lay, and I confirmed this on the 4th again. And she refused to leave in the AM. On the 5th, I ended up going out with friends after instead, and hooked up with a chick that lives in my apartment that I fvck occassionally. The 5th date chick in question was marginal in bed, had a great body, okay face, and awful personality(really really bad). Decided I didn't like being around her and the sex was not great.

And I agree, online dating IS to get laid. But you never know I guess.

Good responses though. It's just a little different, I think I am at more of an advantage when I cold approach in person. She thinks I am more of a badass and maybe so do I. I actually enjoy the cold approach, but I do not have the time to goto bars and sh!t all the time. I meet a fair amount of chicks just in my daily life and get numbers, but online dating is easy as sh!t. Online dating seems a little pathetic to me, but it's been a gold mine. Got dates every day this week until saturday aside from tonight. Fvcking gold mine.

btw. can't believe guys write that sh!t Harry. Although I guess I should thank them for setting the bar low.

 

[XRCBWilliams15]

You cant honestly believe this...anyone with any experience in OLD knows that IN PRACTICE (not KJ) the flaking is out of fvxking control and it has everything to do with hundreds of options that would never look at these women twice in a bar. Im one of those options lol. And I have said all sort of AFC shyt to women below my league and they will let it all slide once they see my six pack, assuming I messaged a sufficiently unattractive girl lol. With decent looking ones its just about timing.

This is why I avoid girls that use OLD, my last 2 exes branch swung to some REALLY good looking guys and these were women I thought I was dating down with haha.

Maybe I am having good luck, and I haven't been OLD for very long. But I haven't had any flake yet. Had one get slvt remorse after I banged her for hours the night before, and give me the, I had a great time but I can't believe I had sex with you so soon. I wan't to develop an emotional connection. Not sure what to do with her... whatever. Probably next....

When you say flake, you mean she cancel a date or go ghost on you? I'm paranoid about it, but neither has happened to me yet. Either I have gone ghost, or flat out told the chick I'm not interested. Although I think part of the reason for avoiding this is because I next em quick. The minute I think there is any bullish!t, or my interest level declines even slightly, or a notice anything wrong, I'm out... which is why I made this thread. I'm more forgiving with the chicks I know from real life. Girl in my building I occasionally bang definitely isn't fvcking anyone else, so I text her maybe once a week and she comes over. I think that's a much less likely scenario online, but maybe I'm being a dumbass.

 

[Partizan]

"i like what your wrote on your essay. im just guess about the part tips waiters and waitresses part. that an little different from what usually on someone profile. i do like to give big tips to them. but that because im nice guy . so was you ever an Waitresses before or have an family member or friend who was one. well anyway i like pizza lol what guy dont like Pizza. but it my favorite food to eat . im like hang with family , i can be kinda an mommy boy . i always go visit her when she come home from work. so i like to ask about her day before i go home. one thing i know im not is i do get nervous in different situations. so i guess you can say im uncomforable with anything new. i like to know ahead what going on . well anyway i just want to say hi and tell how beautiful you are and tell you my pro and cons. enjoy the rest of you day"

I cannot stop laughing.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

You cant honestly believe this...anyone with any experience in OLD knows that IN PRACTICE (not KJ) the flaking is out of fvxking control and it has everything to do with hundreds of options that would never look at these women twice in a bar. Im one of those options lol. And I have said all sort of AFC shyt to women below my league and they will let it all slide once they see my six pack, assuming I messaged a sufficiently unattractive girl lol. With decent looking ones its just about timing.

This is why I avoid girls that use OLD, my last 2 exes branch swung to some REALLY good looking guys and these were women I thought I was dating down with haha.

Well, if that's your experience I'm sorry to hear that. Me, I don't have a six-pack or any real muscles to speak of. However, ever since I got good at online dating a few years ago, I have yet to experience any kind of flaking. In fact, I have an online dating eBook coming out at the end of this month that explains all my methods. But, for now, I'll just say this: I do a sufficient amount of "getting to know each other" talk with a girl before I decide if I want to ask her out, then I do. I don't message her forever, nor do I get her number before taking her on a date. This, perhaps, is one of the reasons my flake number has been zero. But hey, that's just MY experience

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Well, if that's your experience I'm sorry to hear that. Me, I don't have a six-pack or any real muscles to speak of. However, ever since I got good at online dating a few years ago, I have yet to experience any kind of flaking. In fact, I have an online dating eBook coming out at the end of this month that explains all my methods. But, for now, I'll just say this: I do a sufficient amount of "getting to know each other" talk with a girl before I decide if I want to ask her out, then I do. I don't message her forever, nor do I get her number before taking her on a date. This, perhaps, is one of the reasons my flake number has been zero. But hey, that's just MY experience

That has been my experience as well. If you "get to know each other" first, make em laugh, build a small connection, they will NOT flake. They've weeded through 100's of $hitty messages and profiles, then you pop up and are some cool guy who seems he'd be fun to be with.

A little while back I had a 6.5 with an 8 or 9 body checking out my profile every few days without sending me a message, so I messaged her: "I see you looking at my profile, why didn't you just send me a message?" She snap responds and, after about three messages, we set up a date for almost a week out. I didn't even ask for her number, I honestly wasn't thrilled about meeting her but I thought it could be worth it. We didn't talk at all in between so the day of the date I send her a message. I was going to end up flaking myself but she didn't respond.....and still hasn't! I had a feeling it wasn't going to go anywhere, and it didn't. The way the date was set up was a complete 180 of how it usually goes with me. I usually build up the rapport for a little while. I'll wait to ask for the number until she's simmering, or sometimes she'll just offer hers up unsolicited <------This is the best way IMO.

If you're worried she's going to flake, then she probably will. A lot of this you can trust your gut on. If she seems excited to meet you, well then guess what, she probably isn't going to flake. It's actually rather simple.

Had one get slvt remorse after I banged her for hours the night before, and give me the, I had a great time but I can't believe I had sex with you so soon. I wan't to develop an emotional connection. Not sure what to do with her... whatever. Probably next....

She's correct in the regards that, if she now wants something more with you, as in a LTR, it isn't going to happen. Because you guys had sex so soon the only hope here is as FB's. Or MAYBE something a little more, but anything else is completely out the window at this point. So, if you want to keep her around, you need to keep it on the straight and narrow FB path, otherwise, any attempts at upgrading it will just kill the relationship completely.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Signed up to POF again to see if there was some new booty up there. Man.....these women look busted. I changed my do I own a car....and my messages more then doubled from the first time when I had prefer not to say lol