"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Do you have to take it slower when they have kids?

AgonyUncle

Senior Don Juan
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Im at a bit of a crossroads here.

I have been on a few dates with a single mom, who is an absolute belter. Gorgeous, intelligent and has a life of her own. She runs her own business and is active. Now her interest levels appear to be through the roof. She is doing all the phoning and emailing, and making suggestions for possible dates all the time. She insists on picking up the check half of the time. Shes always girly and touchy feely when on a date. She has very little free time working retail hours, and seems intent on spending what free time she has available with me when I am available.

I just cant get to first base with this chick. Now normally, in my book, if you have not kissed the woman by the 2nd date, her interest level is low. By the third, you in the friend zone and there is no romantic interest at all on their part. She has said outright she cant take home every man she likes because it confuses her kid too much, the poor little bugger thinking every new fellow is his new dad. I get the impression that she was with a nutjob or two in the past, so is a little circumspect. So in one breath she is hinting at friendship only, but in the other she is acting like a woman in full on pursuit.

Has anyone experienced a similar situation? I must admit I do like her quite a bit, and would be prepared to take it slow if she was keen but wary. Sex is catered for with a FB I have on the go, so its look like I have oneitis or anything either.

Suggestions?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Wyldfire

Banned
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As a single mother I can tell you that she is handling dating the proper way. She is getting to know you before going to the next level because when you are a parent, your choices affect your children as well. She's just making sure that you are a good guy and that getting involved with you won't be harmful to her child. She's responsible and a good parent for doing that.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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Yeah, you definitely need to slow your roll when pursuing a single mother. It seems that the younger the child/children, the more time it might take for her to feel you out. You're not sarging just her, you're attempting to pick up an entire family (at least in her eyes).
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
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A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
I don't pursue single mothers, except for one-night stands.

Nothing against them...I just don't need to deal with it. :p I view it as a huge red-flag. It means that either she wasn't careful sexually, or it means she had a past relationship that despite having a family, didn't work out.

Either way, you're no longer just gaming her, you're gaming her AND the kid.
 
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