Do you have to change who you are to become a badboy/a-hole?

[ShiftyShaun]

So to give you a background Im a good looking 18 year old lad. Im confident, funny and always happy. I consider myself to be pretty good at the whole C&F routine with most girls, but for most of my life I've been considered the 'nice guy' who's always friendly and happy. Im able to be the badboy type, intensifying C&F and negs around HB8s and lower, which is effective. I don't know whether i feel intimidated or feel the need to please HB8s and up, but I find it harder to be more crude around them, and become the 'badboy' that they apparently love.

An example of this was when I met a HB9 at a party about a month ago. We seemed to hit it off pretty well, I was confident and funny. I didn't see her again that night so no number close, just a name. I decided last week to add her on facebook, because I hadn't seen her since and was feeling frustrated. I started emailing her...

Me:Hey, I think i met you at joeys party a few weeks back, sorry if i have the wrong person but ur face is rather distinctive

Her:Joey Palmer's party?

Me: yeah that one, if you don't remember me then don't bother accepting me or else its pointless

Her:No just chill out... i dont remember anything From that Nyt... I was passed out on Joey's trampoline for most of it... So dont take it personally ... Tell me How we met...

Me:Ahaha yeah u seemed a tad tipsy to be polite. I was speaking to a friend of yours and you rocked up, laughing at every second thing i said, which made me crack up. I saw you again later and said hey but u gave me the blankest stair ive ever been given haha =P but yeah u seem to have a good sense of humour... or you're an awsum drunk aha. You're a st anne's girl right?

And then no reply...

Reading that now, even I think most of that was either too apolagetic or suck up (AFC). The only positive response was after the message where I was pretty much a rude ass. Do you think you have to be an ******* to girls like this just to get their attention? And do you think me ditching my constant happy, smiley, 'nice guy' personality to be more of a badboy to get the 'hotter' girls is justified? thanks boys

 

[GetOveIT]

No, just put yourself above all and it is done.

 

[Pathgen]

I dont think you were too much of an *******. She told you to chill out and you said:

Ahaha yeah u seemed a tad tipsy to be polite. I was speaking to a friend of yours and you rocked up, laughing at every second thing i said

(You implied that she can't hold her alcohol and acts like a retarted fool when she gets drunk)

I saw you again later and said hey but u gave me the blankest stair ive ever been given haha

(Stare is spelled wrong. that just bugs me haha, but also once again you are eluding to the fact that she drank too much)

or you're an awsum drunk aha.

(Well if she doesn't think she has a good sense of humor you just called her a drunk straight up)

None of your replies made her feel good. You just berated her. You tried to imply that she has a good sense of humor, but in the end all you ended up doing was showing her that you don't think much more of her than a stupid drunk girl. Why would she want to respond?

C&F is good, but only when you are actually funny. You were just ****y. Your responses may have seemed funny to you. However, the point is to make her laugh.

This would have been better in my opinion:

Yeah everyone was having a good time that night. You came up to me and we had some good laughs (maybe put something in here about what you two laughed about). You're a st anne's girl right?

Notice, how everything I said included the both of you together. You all were having a good night so its ok that she was drunk, and you both shared some good laughs.

I don't even understand why you would include the part about the stare. What was it going to accomplish proving to her that she is drunk or that you are not worth recognizing?

 

[ShiftyShaun]

Thanks for that, makes total sense. I couldn't tell the difference between attempting to neg her and making us both sound like idiots.

Oh and sorry about the whole 'stair' thing, im usually good with that haha

 

[kingsam]

people are mostly at either end of the afc/jerk spectrum

wussy/afc -------Natural/dj------- jerk/badboy

most of us once were at the Wussy end (the majority of 'men' are) and bad boys are at the jerk end , (only naturals , or DJ's are in the middle)

the bad boys have the male "strength" chearceristics that women Love (the AFC's/wussy's are the opposite of these i.e. they DONT have them...)
- self confidence
- challenge
- self control
Jerk sare "negative challenges" by being lying/rude/abusive/use the women BUT you can be a Positive challenge...!
so you dont have to be a jerk, just recognise they do some things "right", but dont do it abusively like them

---------------------

I consider myself to be pretty good at the whole C&F routine with most girls, but for most of my life I've been considered the 'nice guy' who's always friendly and happy

surely this is a contradiaction your good at C+F but people still think ur Too Nice...right...!
and you message to her proves this...! (it was lame..!)

You also aploogised to her in the first thing you said to her, thats weak...!

 

[CaptainJ]

Wow that has to be the most un-smooth thing I've seen in a long time. You've got a lot to learn. Firstly seeking a girl out you barely know on facebook and adding her is an AFC move. Don't do it. Then you're being all apologetic and lowering your value be telling her not to add you, even more AFC. Then what you write is just boring and even a bit insulting, making her sound like a retarded drunk. I think some basic conversation skills will come in handy for you. Check out Snow Plowman's threads on conversation.

 

[Ease]

Me:Ahaha yeah u seemed a tad tipsy to be polite. I was speaking to a friend of yours and you rocked up, laughing at every second thing i said, which made me crack up. I saw you again later and said hey but u gave me the blankest stair ive ever been given haha =P but yeah u seem to have a good sense of humour... or you're an awsum drunk aha. You're a st anne's girl right?

You need to be cool.

Think of a friend thats good with girls. Or make a friend like this. Then imagine how he would sound and how he would talk to girls. Then imitate.




wussy/afc ----------------------Natural/dj-- jerk/badboy

The only difference between a natural and a jerk, is a persons opinion on him.

 

[synergy1]

if you have to try to be an *******, you never will actually be one. Met a kid who must have been reading this web page trying to be a jerk, and man did this kid ever come off as a tool. He was clearly trying to impress some of the chicks who were hanging out with us. He would randomly try and be arrogant and funny, but all it did was make him look stupid to everyone in our group.

He played his C&F badass routine, I chatted it up with the girls who were with us and ended up hooking up with one of them.

Lesson? don't be a pretender. You either are something or you aren't.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Unless you're a good actor it can't be done... even then you're putting on a show for everyone. But not to worry, I'm sure you have that part inside you. Just develop it if you want.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

So to give you a background Im a good looking 18 year old lad. Im confident, funny and always happy. I consider myself to be pretty good at the whole C&F routine with most girls, but for most of my life I've been considered the 'nice guy' who's always friendly and happy. Im able to be the badboy type, intensifying C&F and negs around HB8s and lower, which is effective. I don't know whether i feel intimidated or feel the need to please HB8s and up, but I find it harder to be more crude around them, and become the 'badboy' that they apparently love.

Its possibly because your afraid you'll lose that gem you truly want. Remember, there are still quite a few 8s and above, be willing to risk losing to get more experience. Typically, they'll be into u MORE if you are the badboy u usually are. Its a matter of a fear of loss I'd say.

An example of this was when I met a HB9 at a party about a month ago. We seemed to hit it off pretty well, I was confident and funny. I didn't see her again that night so no number close, just a name. I decided last week to add her on facebook, because I hadn't seen her since and was feeling frustrated. I started emailing her...

Me:Hey, I think i met you at joeys party a few weeks back, sorry if i have the wrong person but ur face is rather distinctive

Her:Joey Palmer's party?

Me: yeah that one, if you don't remember me then don't bother accepting me or else its pointless

Her:No just chill out... i dont remember anything From that Nyt... I was passed out on Joey's trampoline for most of it... So dont take it personally ... Tell me How we met...

Me:Ahaha yeah u seemed a tad tipsy to be polite. I was speaking to a friend of yours and you rocked up, laughing at every second thing i said, which made me crack up. I saw you again later and said hey but u gave me the blankest stair ive ever been given haha =P but yeah u seem to have a good sense of humour... or you're an awsum drunk aha. You're a st anne's girl right?

And then no reply...

She's just playing games. Girls do that, even if you have amazing games. Girls are at such an immature age that they're mentally retarded and don't know what they want. She aint worth the trouble. Who cares if she got looks? Thats all she has...nothing else unless she proves it and guess what? She obviously proved she got nothing else.

Reading that now, even I think most of that was either too apolagetic or suck up (AFC). The only positive response was after the message where I was pretty much a rude ass. Do you think you have to be an ******* to girls like this just to get their attention? And do you think me ditching my constant happy, smiley, 'nice guy' personality to be more of a badboy to get the 'hotter' girls is justified? thanks boys

Only thing thats wrong with the facebook message I see is that she possibly felt embarrased. Dont' be so critical of it. If she was attracted to you, it wouldn't had mattered what you said...she'd reply to you. Hell, sometimes a hot girl will message EVEN MORE than a girl who's less attractive if she seems to be into the guy lol. In her case, she probably just wasn't interested. Sure, maybe she didn't respond back when you said something crude...but it might be only to the crude thing that you said...not necessarily that she was more attracted to you.

Hell, I remember a few times i commented on a girl's drunkedness and she didnt' seem to mind

But with this girl, she doesn't seem to be worth it. Why try to put on an image you honestly don't care to be but only do it so she gets your interest? There are plenty of hot girls who attracted to a guy of your personality. No you don't have to change, but it does help to be a badboy when the situation calls for it, being more sexual, touching, etc.