ilikecharlene
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2012
- Messages
- 335
- Reaction score
- 8
if so, then just to bars and stuff?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
do you hang out with co-workers?
- Thread starter ilikecharlene
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Dust 2 Dust
Master Don Juan
horaholic said:
-You're their supervisor and you don't want to establish friendships or date with subordinates. Other employees will accuse you of playing favorites and thinking you're weak. The last company I worked for strictly forbid management from fraternizing or dating employees outside work.
-Female coworkers may press a sexual harassment suit against you if they decide they no longer like you or they want to be more than friends and you reject them. 2 employees I know had nutjobs file phony sexual harassment charges against them.
I am a supervisor in a large building with 50 other employees. I will only hang out with coworkers if they work in a separate department or another branch outside my location. Hanging out or dating coworkers in the same department as me is a huge no-no.
Dating someone from your same department is a definitely NO. I can tell you from personal experience it made my life hell and would never do it again. I can't say no to dating from the same job there is just too much temptation but never from the same department in my job.
When it comes to hanging out with people from the same department I don't see the issue specially if it's a disposable low wage job that you are going to be in for a few months to a year or so till you get something better.
If it's a high salary professional environment/career that you want to protect and see yourself in for a long time I would be more careful. The reason for that is when you start hanging out outside of work with coworkers the respect people have for you as a fellow co-worker starts to disappear as you become a "buddy at work."
This is why it's not good to hang out with your employees if you're a supervisor. I know there is an exception to every rule but usually if you hang out with coworkers if you're a supervisor you lose that aura of "being the boss" and become more a friend which leads to people losing respect for you as a boss.
When it comes to hanging out with people from the same department I don't see the issue specially if it's a disposable low wage job that you are going to be in for a few months to a year or so till you get something better.
If it's a high salary professional environment/career that you want to protect and see yourself in for a long time I would be more careful. The reason for that is when you start hanging out outside of work with coworkers the respect people have for you as a fellow co-worker starts to disappear as you become a "buddy at work."
This is why it's not good to hang out with your employees if you're a supervisor. I know there is an exception to every rule but usually if you hang out with coworkers if you're a supervisor you lose that aura of "being the boss" and become more a friend which leads to people losing respect for you as a boss.
Yeah I work at a restaurant and you meet some pretty cool guys/girls there. Usually some good camaraderie develops due to the stressful work.
Been to a halloween/new years eve party
Shoot pool a lot
Play golf during the summer/spring
Play bball together with a few (I tried to organize a team but no-go)
Play video games together and talk about them
And just grab some beers after a busy shift and unwind
Bowling
Just all kinds of fun things to do with co-workers.
Been to a halloween/new years eve party
Shoot pool a lot
Play golf during the summer/spring
Play bball together with a few (I tried to organize a team but no-go)
Play video games together and talk about them
And just grab some beers after a busy shift and unwind
Bowling
Just all kinds of fun things to do with co-workers.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
My co-workers are 95% female since I am a nurse.The doctors are all about 15 years older than I am and married with kdis and the male kitchen and maintenance staff are a bit...proletarian...for me. Though I'd never say that to them.
So I don't hang out with them much. I attend the get togethers that everyone goes to and I am text buddies with several of them. At every get-together at least one of them drunkenly tries to expand our relationship since I am relatively successful, friendly to all, and fun but I that's the kind of drama that will ruin a work environment quickly and I won't do it.
So I don't hang out with them much. I attend the get togethers that everyone goes to and I am text buddies with several of them. At every get-together at least one of them drunkenly tries to expand our relationship since I am relatively successful, friendly to all, and fun but I that's the kind of drama that will ruin a work environment quickly and I won't do it.
chosenfew22
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2011
- Messages
- 10
- Reaction score
- 1
I'm a SGT in the US Army and being Airborne Infantry there is a lot of "retards" running around, but there are also many intelligent characters out there too. Its often hard to notice those types because they tend to shy away from the loud, crazy, I'm too drunk to stand on my own two feet soldiers. Being an NCO I don't hangout with my subordinates unless they all attend. I will however hangout with someone who I have been to combat with. Respect in the workplace is much easier to lose when they are comfortable with your presence when you are out of uniform, because now they see you as a regular guy (which you are but they don't need to see it). Officers talk about CoD and stupid **** too, they just don't let you see it. Half the time a new officer will give you the time of day to express strategy is because they just got out West Point and hes never field tested strategy! An NCO is not trying to hear it because he knows its not your job so therefore you probably don't know what the f*ck you're talking about.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2007
- Messages
- 8,412
- Reaction score
- 5,176
If they are mostly "peers" i.e. people at roughly the same level as you, it's ok once in a while.
Just try not be drawn into the gossip. Sometimes it can turn into a b*tching session about the boss, or other coworkers that weren't invited because they aren't in the "in" clique.
Just try not be drawn into the gossip. Sometimes it can turn into a b*tching session about the boss, or other coworkers that weren't invited because they aren't in the "in" clique.